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Sunday October 17, 1999 Oakville Beaver Weekend 7 L o v e i n a b o t t l e o f b a d w i n e w --a A love story washed up on my beach recently. It's kind o f a one-sided, love story in progress, written on yellow legal pad, encased in an empty bottle. It was a glint o f sunlight off the metal cap that caught my eye, as the green bottle bobbed and weaved first over, then under the waves. It was a bottle o f cheap w hite w ine called L'Ambiance which is a fancy French word for ambience, w hich is a fancy English word for surroundings. (Put a photo o f The King on the label and this stuff is Forever Elvis.) So the bottle washes up and I can see folded paper inside, so I rip away at the plastic tape sealing the cap, thinking I've just come into possession o f a winning lot tery ticket, or the may to the Lost Dutchman Gold Mine or maybe Barbara Eden. But no, it's a hand-written one page letter which reads: WILLIAM THOMAS All The World's A Circus my by the look in my eyes. Signed, A soul mate " And there's a happy face at the bottom o f the page which looks exactly like all those composite sketches the Toronto Police Department put out. Well I just couldn't believe it. With Lake Erie receding to record levels, not only is my beach bigger and sandier, it's now a dating service! Unfortunately, that "alco hol free" requirement imme diately eliminated me as a possible candidate. W henever my friends hear the phrase "alcohol free" their first ques tion is: "So what do they do? Charge you for the peanuts?' Okay, so let's analyze this letter and see what we have here. We have a woman who longs to go on a journey, to heights not commonly expe rienced by humans. So we can eliminate Roberta Bondar right off the bat. She's already been there. On the fist pass of the let ter, it's clear we have a het erosexual w om an w ho's looking for the love o f her life, a woman who has trouble spelling the word please, a To Whomever finds this: (If yo u 're not a man-pis (sic.) throw it back in.) I 'm searching, looking, seeking require a man who knows joy; jo y o f life, joy o f living. Joy in degrees closer to that o f angels-but which can be experienced on this planet, in this life. Someone who looks from within with eyes that see, who feels with a heart that loves who hears with ears that know life is good; it' s real good. We're on a journey, this life. Let' s grab it by the (insert anatomical slang word here) and go to heights not com monly experienced by humans-drug & alcohol free. Interested? You'll know woman w ho's used of certain brass ring imagery can only give a potential partner with im pression: "Mana, that's gonna ;hurt." On the surface, it appears pretty simple. This is a woman who's looking for a man with good eyesight, a sound cardiovascular system and ears unencumbered by hearing aids. And a man who recognizes life to b good, real..ah...good. Sorry but this includes just about every guy in the world except those presently receiving mail at intensive care units. But if you dig deeper into the story, you'll discover a much more complex persona emerging from the subtle sub text of her letter. On closer inspection, you uncover a complex woman who's probably addicted to Touched By An Angel reruns and once wrote songs for Barry Manilow. This is a woman of certain standards...standards which are skewed. On the one hand, she wants a man who's alco hol free, yet she sends her message in an empty wine bottle., the content of which, I assume, gave her the courage to write this letter in the first place. No guy can tolerate wa woman with double stan dards...'cause that's our Get Outta Jail Free Ticket, okay?' This is a w om an who appears not to be taking a cheap show at anyone, yet she slyly dates the letter Sept. 87, 1999 know ing full well whenever the bottle arrived, it was sure to embarrass Canada Post. It did. This is a woman who des perately want a man but what she really needs is a wine appreciation course. This is a w oman who does not w ant a relationship with either a drug user or a falling-dow n drunk. T his is a picky, picky, picky woman. .A nd finally, this is a w oman with a good eye for the big picture and nice pen manship. Personally, how ever, she'd m ake a better first im pression w hen she m eets men if she ju st shook their hands. T hat life grabbin business is gong to send potential soul m ates soaring to heights not com m only experienced by hum ans, if you know w hat I mean. In terested ? N o t me. You'll know me by the fear in my eyes and the protec tive cup strapped on the out side o f m y jeans. 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(Nexr to Budd's Imported Cars) 8 4 2 * 9 9 7 7 R E E U n d e r c a r I n s p e c t io n & E s t im a t e N a t i o n w id e L if e t im e G u a r a n t e e s O P E N M O N . - FRI. 8 A M -6 PM S A TU R D A Y 8 A M -4 P M M iller M ews - 323 Church Street, Oakville Phone (905) 845-6160 Fax: (905) 845-4383 MUST PRESENT COUPON FOR ALL SPECIALS NOT TO BE COMBINED W ITH ANY OTHER OFFER 0 ur customers often ask us how our restaurant Cafe Galleria came to be. So we'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight! It was the day of Sandro's 40th birthday - January 25, 1993 - that Cafe Galleria became his again. What a terrific birthday present! Sandro returned as owner of the restaurant along with his wife Felina to run a true family-run restaurant. Chefs Salvatore Mercato and Sandro create magic in the kitchen. Sandro's son Rino, now 18 has moved up from washing dishes five years ago, to assisting the chefs. Felina and Sandro are pleased to have their daughter Darla join them in taking care of their customers that they have come to know so well! With mother and daughter working the front of the house and father and son in the back, the result is Italian dining at its finest. The smell of the food is intoxicating and Felina's seasonal homemade desserts are truly sinful! We are proud to say that we built Cafe Galleria into what it is today and we invite you to visit us for a meal and an experience you won't forget. R ino, F elina, Sandro & Darla We are proud to say that we started Cafe Galleria in November of 1979. It was a dream come true for Sandro DiBemardo who had always wanted to run his own restaurant. Along with a partner, Sandro opened for business in the spring of 1980. At that time, Cafe Galleria was very different from the Cafe Galleria you know today! The space was more of a casual cafeteria style place than a cozy, romantic room. in 1981, Sandro, along with the late Dean Charter and architects Anthony Jackson and Julian Ryder, completely remodelled the restaurant. They added a bar and obtained their liquor licence and Cafe Galleria became an elegant dining room. P a fe fyd le rin i" I ?80 tty 1984, the partnership encountered some problems and the restaurant was sold to new owners. Sandro, who had always been a Chef at Cafe Galleria, was asked a few years later to return and cook for them. He cooked for Cafe Galleria for four more years, but missed owning his own restaurant. He and his wife were contemplating moving to Italy, possibly to open a restaurant in Sandro's home town of Celano in Abruzzi, but just as they were deciding to move, Cafe Galleria was offered to Sandro to buy. Of course, he jumped at the chance to buy back the business he had created! C A F E G A L L E R IA FINE ITALIAN CUISINE 'fa m i ft/ Owned & Operated Reservations Recommended 151 Lakeshore Rd. E. · 845-7731 Tucked Away In Downtown Oakville,