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6- The Oakville Beaver Weekend, Saturday December 8, 2007 www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 Classified Advertising: 845-3824, ext. 224 Circulation: 845-9742 The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Council. The council is located at 80 Gould St., Suite 206, Toronto, Ont., M5B 2M7. Phone (416) 340-1981. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of advertising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate. The publisher reserves the right to categorize advertisements or decline. Editorial and advertising content of the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Unauthorized use is prohibited. Commentary Letters to the Editor NEIL OLIVER Publisher DAVID HARVEY General Manager Halton JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief ROD JERRED Managing Editor DANIEL BAIRD Advertising Director RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director Metroland Media Group Ltd. includes: Ajax/Pickering News Advertiser, Alliston Herald/Courier, Arthur Enterprise News, Barrie Advance, Caledon Enterprise, Brampton Guardian, Burlington Post, Burlington Shopping News, City Parent, Collingwood/Wasaga Connection, East York Mirror, Erin Advocate/Country Routes, Etobicoke Guardian, Flamborough Review, Georgetown Independent/Acton Free Press, Harriston Review, Huronia Business Times, Lindsay This Week, Markham Economist & Sun, Midland/Penetanguishine Mirror, Milton Canadian Champion, Milton Shopping News, SANDY PARE Business Manager MARK DILLS Director of Production MANUEL GARCIA Production Manager CHARLENE HALL Director of Distribution ALEXANDRIA ANCHOR Circ. Manager The Oakville Beaver is a division of Criticism not well argued I'd like to respond the recent letter featured in the Oakville Beaver entitled humanist reaction to book review offended some Catholics by Laura Sharp. I must say that I found Laura Sharp's letter to be incoherent. Now, I do not claim her letter to be incoherent because it was poorly written, but rather because her arguments were (I believe) so poorly constructed to a point of aimlessness. For instance, what difference does it make if the relevant humanist body did not make a fuss over the recent incidents in Sudan or any other event? Surely, a neglect, much less a reluctance, to offer arguments against religious incidents in Sudan does not render arguments that are offered regarding religious incidents in Canada illegitimate. Indeed, they are not. So, I encourage you to let an argument stand on its own merits and not sidetrack the issue at hand. Additionally, I am at a loss as to how Sharp fails to see the crucial point of the humanist objection: the Catholic school board is (partially?) funded by the public dollar, not wholly Catholicism's dollar. Consequently, we, the humanists, expect a reflection of the public diversity and hence atheism is included. In fact, this is the least the Catholic school board can do considering that its very existence as a religious body being exclusively funded by the Ontario government goes against the moral declarations of human rights. This is also a claim that was accentuated to the Canadian government by the United Nations itself! But, alas, it was a point that fell on deaf ears. Lastly, what do the atheistic convictions of moral monsters like Stalin, Hitler and Mao have to do with whether the Catholic school board should have a book about atheism or not? It is my dearest hope that Sharp is not trying to imply that atheism leads to such immoral behaviour? Surely not! For then she'd have to explain the rather peaceful behaviour of atheistic communities. But, I take it that she was not trying to imply such a thing and so I ask: what was her point? M. JORDAN IAN OLIVER Group Publisher Mississauga Business Times, Mississauga News, Napanee Guide, Newmarket/Aurora Era-Banner, Northumberland News, North York Mirror, Oakville Beaver, Oakville Shopping News, Oldtimers Hockey News, Orillia Today, Oshawa/Whitby/Clarington Port Perry This Week, Owen Sound Tribune, Palmerston Observer, Peterborough This Week, Picton County Guide, Richmond Hill/Thornhill/Vaughan Liberal, Scarborough Mirror, Stouffville/Uxbridge Tribune, Forever Young, City of York Guardian RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: Ontario Community Newspapers Association Canadian Community Newspapers Association Suburban Newspapers of America THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: United Way of Oakville TV AUCTION Use fake tree for Christmas I wanted to take this opportunity of expressing an opinion regarding purchasing of live trees at this time of the year. I realize I may come across like the grinch, however I wanted to say there are plenty of reusable alternatives to using a real trees as a Christmas symbol. When you take into consideration the benefits the live trees provide in absorbing pollution and co2 by staying in the ground, it far outweighs a very limited amount of visual benefit for 34 weeks in one's house In addition one should consider the trucking costs and associated pollution of cutting them, bringing them to market, plus the cost in January of the town picking them up and all the pollution associated with this process. I have heard the argument of the tree growers and their employment and it is a crop; I could understand this argument if we ate them. The tree growers may be better off in quantifying the carbon savings of the farms and forward selling the tons of carbon into the marketplace. If we expect our children to recycle and reuse we need to set the example. BRIAN LAYFIELD David goofs on Goliath and Joan Van Ark marries Noah T oday I'm going to make fun of Americans. Why? I could say they're easy targets, but that seems a little mean-spirited. So, I'll tender four more sporting reasons. I'm going to make fun of Americans because (a) I can (b) they're always making fun of us (c) they're so big and we're so small, it will be like David goofing on Goliath (d) most importantly, they're not here to defend themselves! Actually, I'm going to make fun of Americans because I have in front of me Time magazine's Special Report: America by the Numbers, a statistical overview of a day in the life of so-called Average Americans. Some of the stats are staggering, some sidesplitting and some are confoundedly contradictory; most are like the people who live in the United States -- that is, diverse and all over the map. According to Time, the average American household has 2.6 members. On average, Americans are 36.6 years old. Americans exercise close to the recommended 20 minutes a day, but that stat holds true only because 17 per cent exercise for more than an hour while the rest "scarcely stir at all." Want apparent contradictions? How about the majority of Americans believe in God, more than 90 per cent own a Bible, but only half can name a sin- gle gospel, and 10 per cent think Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. While Canadians all know that Noah's wife was Joan Van Ark, who went on to star in Knot's Landing. Further, if you're an American who is sitting on the fence known as "the statistical norm", you enjoy figure skating more than NASCAR, and you spend more money in restaurants than you do in groAndy Juniper cery stores (Americans spend $390-billion each year in restaurants and $364-billion in grocery stores, and the country has 612,020 fast-food cooks compared to 392,850 fulltime farmers). The Statistical Norms also pray each day, brush (but forget to floss), shower for 10 minutes (but claim not to sing while showering), spend 2.5 hours online, and consume a whopping 20 teaspoons of added sugar. No wonder Americans are sweet. Unlike Canadians, who are never really happy unless they're on medication, or watching Corner Gas, nine out of 10 Americans say they are pretty darn happy with their jobs. Mosthappy are clergy, housekeepers and butlers and firefighters while least-happy are gas-station attendants and roofers. Of course, an overview of American life looks suspiciously like an overview of Canadian life in many aspects --we are close neighbours, after all. The Time analysis revealed that parents in this nutty day and age are both working harder and spending more time with their children which means all those extra hours dedicated to work and family have to be siphoned from somewhere. Consequently, American parents are sleeping less, enjoying less free time and less spousal time. Sleepy Canadian parents can relate. If an average American somehow secures some spare time, how is it typically spent? Watching TV. In the U.S. there are more televisions than people. And while watching TV, how about some popcorn and a beverage? In the U.S., some 978,030 bags of Orville Redenbacher's Gourmet Popping Corn are sold each day, not to mention 160,968 bottles of Absolut Vodka. Hmmm. Sounds like a party. Throw in some doughnuts and you've got yourself a day made for an average Canadian. And that's somebody we're all used to making fun of. Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site, www.strangledeggs.com, or contacted at ajuniper@strangledeggs.com.