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www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver, Wednesday March 12, 2008 - 11 Living Oakville Beaver LIVING EDITOR: ANGELA BLACKBURN By Herb Garbutt OAKVILLE BEAVER STAFF Phone: 905-845-3824, ext. 248 Fax: 905-337-5567 e-mail: angela@oakvillebeaver.com Gay students face unique challenges in high school E very day that Sarah goes to school she is insulted. She is told that she is hated. She is told that there is something wrong with her. She is told that she is inferior to her schoolmates. Others laugh at the insults, only making it worse. The words hurt but they go unpunished. In fact, occasionally a teacher will even slight her. "Sometimes it feels like a gauntlet," the Burlington high school student says. "It is very difficult to be openly gay in high school. I knew for more than two years before I told anyone, and I was terrified that the whole school would hate me." Sarah, a Burlington high school student It's the type of environment the provincial safe schools policy was meant to eliminate. Yet it happens. Perhaps the reason it does is that Sarah's schoolmates don't even know they are insulting her -- although sometimes they do right to her face. That's because few of them know Sarah is a lesbian. "It is very difficult to be openly gay in high school," she says. "I knew for more than two years before I told anyone, and I was terrified that the whole school would hate me." Based on the comments she hears on a daily basis in the hallways, it only makes her wonder if that would be true if her sexuality was public knowledge. Would people stop making those hurtful statements if they knew? Or would it just give them a target? That is why, apart from a few close friends, she keeps it a secret. It's also why the students you read about in this story are identified by a name other than their own. "My identity does not revolve around my sexual orientation," Sarah says. "I am so many other things. But I worry that the world will never get past it." High school is often described as the best years of your life. Even if you do subscribe to that belief, it usually takes many years to gain perspective and realize that. The truth is, while you're living LIESA KORTMANN / OAKVILLE BEAVER SUPPORT: After their son Brock told the family he was gay while still in high school (Grade 10), Bob, a phys-ed teacher in Burlington, and Joanne Stacey, went into shock, not so much by their son's announcement, but by the reaction of some of their friends. "You really find out who your friends are," said Joanne, who founded the Halton chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). SPECIAL REPORT In a three-part series, reporter Herb Garbutt examines the challenges facing gay youths in Halton. On Friday, he writes about the difficulties faced by gay student athletes. through it, it isn't easy. There's the other difficulties the straight pressure to dress a certain way, get teenager faces." good marks as well as temptations Making friends is one thing, such as alcohol and drugs. keeping them is even harder when "Being a you're not sure teenager is "Many people don't realize how they will hard enough," the amount of pressure, react to the says David, an stress and hardship a gay news that you're Oakville high gay. teenager deals with on top of school gradu"Some peoate now going all the other difficulties the ple laughed to college. straight teenager faces." when I told "Sexuality them, in an `Are complicates it David, an Oakville you serious?' so much more. high school graduate way," said Many people Amanda, a don't realize the amount of pres- Burlington high school student. sure, stress and hardship a gay "Others said some pretty mean teenager deals with on top of all things about me behind my back when they didn't think I was lis- my friends are discussing their tening." knights in shining armour." "It's still nerve-racking and difShe doesn't see why that has to ficult to make new friends and tell be the case. them," Sarah says. "Loving relationships are more On top of all or less all the the other usual "I don't really feel same regardless high school comfortable talking to of the genders worries, there is (or) sexes of the the uncertainty most of my friends about people involved," and confusion the huge crush I have on a she said. "They of first relation- girl in my class. They would are all built on ships. trust, honesty probably freak out." Amanda says and love." she has a few Amanda, a Burlington While youngfriends she can high school student er generations talk to about are generally relationships, considered to be or at least potential relationships, more accepting of gay classmates, but wishes she could be as open as it is still an older generation that everyone else. runs the schools, coaches sports "I don't really feel comfortable teams and hold the positions of talking to most of my friends authority. Even communities difabout the huge crush I have on a fer on their level of acceptance of girl in my class. They would prob- gays. ably freak out," she said. "I wish I "Burlington isn't a place with could be completely honest about huge acceptance. Anyone who was my feelings without feeling ostra- gay either went to Hamilton or cized. I wish that at sleepovers, I Toronto to be with people like could openly talk about my dreams them," said Brock Stacey, who of a `Princess Charming' while all See `We're page 12