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6- The Oakville Beaver Weekend, Saturday November 22, 2008 www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver NEIL OLIVER Publisher DAVID HARVEY General Manager JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief ROD JERRED Managing Editor DANIEL BAIRD Advertising Director RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director SANDY PARE Business Manager Metroland Media Group Ltd. includes: Ajax/Pickering News Advertiser, Alliston Herald/Courier, Arthur Enterprise News, Barrie Advance, Caledon Enterprise, Brampton Guardian, Burlington Post, Burlington Shopping News, City Parent, Collingwood/Wasaga Connection, East York Mirror, Erin Advocate/Country Routes, Etobicoke Guardian, Flamborough Review, Georgetown Independent/Acton Free Press, Harriston Review, Huronia Business Times, Lindsay This Week, Markham Economist & Sun, Midland/Penetanguishine Mirror, Milton Commentary 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 Classified Advertising: 905-632-4440 Circulation: 845-9742 The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Council. The council is located at 80 Gould St., Suite 206, Toronto, Ont., M5B 2M7. Phone (416) 340-1981. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of advertising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate.The publisher reserves the right to categorize advertisements or decline. Editorial and advertising content of the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Unauthorized use is prohibited. Guest Columnist MARK DILLS Director of Production MANUEL GARCIA Production Manager CHARLENE HALL Director of Distribution ALEXANDRIA ANCHOR Circ. Manager WEBSITE oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver is a division of Working for you Terence Young, Oakville MP 'd like to thank Oakville voters for their support on Oct. 14. As MP for Oakville, I'll work hard for everyone in our community and make sure Oakville has a voice in government. The last five weeks have been exciting. I've had the opportuTerence Young nity to meet and talk with many people. As I set up my constituency office, you can reach me with concerns or questions at my interim office at 337 Kerr St. or 905-338-2008. It was a great honour to participate in Oakville's Remembrance Day ceremonies as your government representative and pay respects to our brave veterans and fighting men and women -- those who stood up for Canada throughout history and those who serve today. Prime Minister Harper has recalled Parliament to address the current economic situation. I know everyone in Oakville is concerned with the global economic outlook. We're all watching our investments with bated breath. I'd like to outline some of the measures the government will be working on to restore a stable economic footing. In the fall of 2007, the Harper government acted to help make our banking industry the most stable in the world and injected capital by way of designed tax cuts. Further, the government's speech from the throne, delivered this past Wednesday, outlines the agenda the government plans to follow in order to protect Canada's future in this time of global economic uncertainty. We'll follow a five-pronged plan: · Perhaps most important to Oakville as the home of Ford of Canada, we will secure jobs for families and communities by encouraging the skilled trades and apprenticeships, supporting workers facing transition and providing support to the automotive and aerospace industries. As Oakville's MP, I have been pushing for strategic support for the auto industry. · Reform global finance by working with our trading partners to re-examine and renew the rules that underpin the global financial system. · Continue prudent and sound budgeting so Canada does not return to ongoing, unsustainable structural deficits while putting federal expenditures under the microscope of responsible spending. · Expand investment and trade by modernizing investment, competition and copyright laws while working with the United States to address shared challenges and pursuing new trade agreements in Europe, Asia and the Americas. · Make government more effective by reducing red tape, fixing procurement, improving program and service delivery, and improving management of federal agencies, boards, commissions and Crown corporations. Some of the specific measure's we'll be introducing to meet the objectives are: · Providing targeted support to industries by reducing tariffs on imported machinery and equipment, extending the mineral exploration tax credit, extending support for international marketing of forestry products and providing incentives for energy-from-biomass. · Restoring funding to Canada's regional economic development agencies and making regional economic development funding available in high-unemployment southern Ontario. · Continued support for small businesses by further raising the small business tax threshold, indexing the Lifetime Capital Gains Exemption to Inflation and establishing a new venture capital fund for entrepreneurs. · Reduction of interprovincial trade barriers, improve labour mobility and increase investment. You elected me to look out for your interests in a time of global economic uncertainty. Oakville families and businesses can be assured the government is acting to ensure we emerge from this period of global economic instability stronger than ever before. IAN OLIVER Group Publisher Media Group Ltd. Canadian Champion, Milton Shopping News, Mississauga Business Times, Mississauga News, Napanee Guide, Newmarket/Aurora EraBanner, Northumberland News, North York Mirror, Oakville Beaver, Oakville Shopping News, Oldtimers Hockey News, Orillia Today, Oshawa/Whitby/Clarington Port Perry This Week, Owen Sound Tribune, Palmerston Observer, Peterborough This Week, Picton County Guide, Richmond Hill/Thornhill/Vaughan Liberal, Scarborough Mirror, Stouffville/Uxbridge Tribune, Forever Young, City of York Guardian I RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: Ontario Community Newspapers Association Canadian Community Newspapers Association Suburban Newspapers of America THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: United Way of Oakville TV AUCTION Pondering profound questions and gambling on God I doubt there are many people out there who have not spent a quiet, reflective moment or two contemplating the existence of God. I know there are many people -- the faithful, the fervent, the fanatical -- who indeed believe in His existence. We've all witnessed politicians praising God, and asking Him to bless America, (nowhere else, just America). We've watched athletes pointing heavenward and giving thanks after a clutch play, and we've heard Realty TV contestants intoning that their fate in an upcoming eviction is all in God's hands -- their logic, I suppose, is that if there is a God then surely He has nothing better to do than micromanage and meddle in the outcome of professional sports and Big Brother 23. Conversely, I know there are many people -- the undecided, doubters and disbelievers -- who point to human suffering and injustices caused by everything from plague and pestilence to weather and wars, and then paraphrase Woody Allen and suggest if there is a God, He is underachieving. All in all, dear readers, it's something to ponder over your porridge, consider over your coffee: Is there a God? If your answer is a resounding yes, if you're so certain that you'd be willing to gamble on God, well, here's your chance. Pandy Power, a Dublin-based bookmaker, is taking bets on the existence of God and betters have lined up for the Lord to the point where, if His existence is actually proven, Pandy Power will be out-of-pocket a whopping $73,630. So many betters Andy Juniper are betting in favour of Our Father, the betting line that opened in September at 33 to one, has fallen to four to one. The only catch on this bet is His existence must be scientifically proven and verified by an independent (and, dare I add, sobre) source. I don't know if that's going to happen anytime soon. But I do know of one man who won't be procuring a pious penny in God's name anytime in the near future. Ernie Chambers. Ernie, you see, is an erstwhile Nebraska state senator who, in September, 2007, filed a lawsuit against God (the very being many are unsure even exists). A political independent who served his constituents for 38 years before retiring last April, Ernie sought a "permanent injunction" to "cease harmful activities," claiming the defendant/God caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, (and) devastating draughts resulting in the widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions." Recently a county judge dismissed Ernie's claim "with prejudice," due to the defendant's lack of proper address. Unlike Beverly Hills 90210, apparently Heaven does not possess a recognizable zip code. Last week, Chambers filed a notice of appeal, stating his intention to take this matter to a higher authority. Now, if Ernie were to sue God for causing people to egregiously overuse alliteration, I think he'd have a case, proper address or no proper address. But as it stands, I don't think he has a hope in hell. I know I wouldn't bet on it. But, then, my money's all tied up in the Dublin-based bookmaker, Pandy Power. Just last night I swore I saw the likeness of God in my Guinness. -- Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site, www.strangledeggs.com, or contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com.