Oakville Newspapers

Oakville Beaver, 9 May 2013, p. 11

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S Spring has nally sprung and suddenly life is for the birds That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 11 | Thursday, May 9, 2013 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com pring has nally sprung. Chaos has commenced. Insanity's ensued. Nature's gone nuts. Welcome to country living, kids. After a seemingly interminable whacky winter, the weather changed overnight -- the sun broke out of the clouds, the mercury shinnied up the thermometer, and all heck broke loose. It started with the birds. Up here in the middle of nowhere, it's always about the blinking birds. Picture this: I was sitting at the kitchen counter when I heard someone trying to break into our basement. I chewed a ngernail down to the quick, then grabbed a baseball bat and snuck downstairs to confront the intruder. I found no one, but at one point in my anxious search something again crashed against the basement window, startling me to the point where I cried out for my mommy. Did you know that a bunch of crows is called a `murder'? That's because when crows congregate you want to murder them. For the next week, about every ve minutes, a crow would shatter the peaceful silence in our house by hurling itself kamikaze-style against our basement window. If someone can enlighten me on this idiotic avian activity, please do so. All I know is it is contagious. The next week, a lone cardinal started tossing himself and his pretty plumage against our family room window. Over the ensuing days, he was joined by a few apparently equally-deranged buddies. Again, I'm not sure of their intentions, but I know each time they'd hit the window, I'd jump out of my skin, and they would lose con- day, my grandfather would sing me a song about ants, allegedly the most industrious of all insects. The song lyrics had the ants marching in one by one, then two by two, three by three, and so on. Well, modern ants have apparently mobilized, to the point where they are now marching in 10,000 by 10,000. Right across our kitchen oor. A friend asked if these are carpenter ants. Honestly, I don't know their trade. All I know is they're pesky and plentiful and very dif cult to exterminate. Spring has ( nally) sprung. And life up here in the middle of nowhere has gone to the birds. And the turkeys. And the ants. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@ gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook. com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter .com/thesportjesters. trol of their bowels. All over the window. At some point in the sudden bloom of spring, the wild turkeys that spend their winters hunting and pecking in the neighboring farmer's eld, decided it would be great fun to shake things up a bit and come explore our property. They waddle about in single- le and at this point in their evolution are unafraid of humans and human inventions, like the car. Consequently, if they're walking up the laneway and we drive up, well, they steadfastly believe they have the right of way. Although wild turkeys are kind of creepy looking, they're typically harmless. Granted, there is one turkey in this ock that marches to the beat of his own drunken drummer. He's forever abandoning the ock, venturing out on his own, and attempting to get into our home. I've caught him in the garage, twice. And just the other day, he came right up to the front door, knocked on the glass with his beak, and waited for me to let him in. And my wife wonders why I never get anything done. Speaking of being industrious. Back in the New Patients & Emergencies Welcome FAMILY, COSMETIC & IMPLANT DENTISTRY FREE Mon-Wed 10-7 Thursday 10-5 Friday 10-3 Saturday 9-3 · Cleaning & Check-ups · White fillings · Root Canals · Crown & Bridge · Implants · Braces/Invisalign · Dentures · Gum Treatment · Wisdom Teeth Removal · Laughing gas/Sedation TEETH WHITENING WITH NEW PATIENT VISIT Limited time offer to new patients 18 years and older, following a complete examination and a professional cleaning. "Let our family take care of yours" Trafalgar Rd. Dundas St. E. Longo's 330 Dundas St. E. Oakville Tel: 905-257-3182 info@klerdental.ca · www.klerdental.ca Open Evenings & Saturdays

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