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B2 - The Oakville Beaver, W e d n e sd a y F e b ru a ry 5, 2003 Master the secrets of a loving, romantic marriage (MPS)-Valentine's Day tends to be an extremely romantic hol iday. Amidst all the flowers, jewelry and other gifts given and received, it is essentially a time when couples reaffirm their love for one another. One of the best gifts you can give your sweetheart this holiday is to learn the patience that it takes to retain the " glow" that many couples maintain in their marriage for decades. Valentine's Day is a perfect time to be reminded of these spe cial factors that can help ensure " happily-ever-afters." Modem Bride's Barbara S. Smalley offers a few dos and don'ts that many happy husbands and wives practice daily: 3. Learn to comprom ise When couples are willing to compromise, they send each other a powerful message: " I love you. let's work this problem out." Sometimes compromise means meeting halfway. Sometimes it means deciding what's really important to you and making trade-offs. And, it always means communicating openly and honestly with each other. Compromising won't work, however, unless both partners are willing to give and take. So, one key to compromising is to pick your battles carefully. When you can live with it, give in. Then, later, when something is really important to you. hope fully your partner w ill do the same for you. . 1. Maintain your friendship In a recent study. 300 couples who'd been happily married for 15 years or more were asked to share the No. 1 reason for their marital success. Both men and women said, " M y spouse is my best friend." Keeping this friendship strong can be difficult when both partners work and quality time together must be scheduled. However, time together should be a priority. Learn to say no to social invitations that w ill take too much time away from being together. J Time together does not have to be filled with nonstop activ ity. Friendships thrive on time spent doing nothing more than talk ing. 4. Support each other; remember your com mitm ent to each other It usually happens that when times are good, they're very good. When the bad times hit, there's a lot of blaming and com plaining going on. Couples need to learn that all marriages have their ups and downs. 5. Have fun together Consider the following scenario: You and your spouse have both had a hectic week. Now, it's Friday night, and both of you would love to rent a video and snuggle in front of the televi sion. However, the apartment is a wreck, and two weeks' worth of laundry is waiting. How would you wind up spending your evening? Couples with a highly successful marriage would choose the video over cleaning. Happily married people have a knack for finding ways to take care of domestic business and have fun at the same time. Keeping your sense of humor in the worst and best of situ ations is also vital. Laughing is a great stress-buster. and feel ing comfortable to be silly around each other is the ultimate bonding device. 2. Remain intimate Intimacy is not necessarily synonymous with sexuality. Over the years, you w ill re-create the wild attraction you felt when the relationship was new, but your ability to remain intimate will become the foundation for your marriage. The rules for maintaining intimacy and friendship are identical. To be intimate, couples must make spending time together a top priority. Letting your spouse know your deepest feelings, hopes, thoughts and fears and having your spouse respond with respect and love can mean the difference between a rocky relationship and a rock-solid marriage. Escape for a romantic getaway with your Valentine. Treat that special someone to our Romance Package. It includes a guestroom, chilled bottle of cha m pa gne , full breakfast for tw o and late check-out upon request. For reservations, visit us online at w w w .hiltongardenlnn.com . call your travel agent. 1-8OO-HILTONS or the hotel direct a t 1-905-829- 1145. Ask for pian c o d e r p Ways to say "I love you" This Valentine's Day (and beyond), try using these fun and unconventional ways to woo your sweetie: On Valentine's morning (while he's showering or shaving), sabotage his work clothes. Tuck tiny candy hearts with messages of love in his socks, shoes, sport coat, pants pockets, overcoat -- even his briefcase -- for fun (and unexpected) reminders of your love all day long. Surprise your love at the office with a roman tic picnic lunch that includes a roundup of romantic foods: luscious chocolate truffles, juicy seasonal berries, creamy brie with baguette, delicate smoked salmon and a bottle of chilled sparkling wine served in elegant flutes. Close the door and enjoy. Leave a romantic greeting on her voice-mail. so it's the first thing your Valentine hears when she arrives at work in the morning. Create a personalized booklet of IOUs for the one you love, redeemable at any time during the next 12 months: a foot massage or back rub, a row boat ride for two in the park, his favorite meal, a morning off from kid duties to sleep in late, a romantic stroll at sunset -- the possibilities are lim itless and sure to please. On Valentine's Day, pamper your "pet" with an appropriately impassioned after-office cocktail. Pour one part passion fruit juice into a champagne flute. Add two parts chilled sparkling wine and stir slowly. Top with a luscious, heart-shaped strawber ry and serve -- then watch office stresses vanish instantly. Everything. Right where you need it: Garden Inn T o r o n t o / O a k v ille 2774 South Sheridan Way Oakville, Ontario L6J 7T4 . 905-829-1145 Otter valtd 2/13AJ3-2/15/03. reservations required. Service of alcoholic beverages subject to provincial & local laws. 02003 Hilton Hospitality. Inc. 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