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A6 - The Oakville Beaver, Wednesday, September 10, 2003 EDITORIALS ARID LETTERS T H EO A K V IL L E HER 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax; 337-5567 Classified Advertising: 845-3824, ext. 224 Circulation: 845-9742 IAN O LIVER Publisher NEIL OLIVER Associate Publisher TERI CASAS Office Manager JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief MARK DILLS Production Manager KELLY M O NTAG UE Advertising Director R IZIE R O VER TO LU Photography Director CHARLENE HALL Circulation Manager R O D JE R R E D Managing Editor THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FO R: M M H d PrtanQ. PiiJtefwg & O o M x t r g L B . r o u t e s ApaW ctam g Ne«w**ertser. Ahslcn HorattCouner. , V * u Q orrpcn. Mdon 9 v p c rg News. Times. MesBsaugi Hetty Burlington Post B urtrgta) Shopping News. I Entwpnw Cry I Last to rt Mrrar. Em A ttacateC orfty Routes. Efcficoto Guardan. Business Tries, L rd o y f t * Wtak. MnrWwn E crrcnw & 5kn. M«inrcl/Pen«angushn* Mlror. MK f*w»rvirVCAl i era Era-Bam s t o t u r t a V D Vtortc l* ro r. OetoOe Bi m t . 0 O efuw»^t»»^aanno6n Port Perry The W e * Owen S a rd Trtxne P » r w * r Otaerver. P t t r t x r ^ r The PVaon C artf Gude Rtrtrond H A 'T h cn **'V ju **r U x n f S crtcrtM T Mrror. S b iM k U td d g e Trtxre Fortfwr * m * j. O tf of W i Guanfcn Recognized for Excellence by N fvrtpapmA s s o cia tio n Ontario Community f \ /'MVT A Canadian Community Newspapers Association n o n w '& S m m & J *& : M Fund |o a k v lH e q a lttrle s | ~Q C w oe s m Suburban Newspapers at America O TJk © Oah'M s'htvidlt w susiwss exceuence C7u6/ f i n d o » r * · o C 9B C M W rw tt ClMXr The 0 < *v *« Mlton and Domci RIAL BtTATI BOARD The new normal Tomorrow marks the second anniversary o f the terrorist attacks on the U.S. by m em bers o f al Qaeda. People around the world will be bom barded once again with those same surreal images of comm ercial aircraft slam ming into the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center and the subsequent collapse o f both office structures. Two years later, those horrifying pictures continue to evoke a multitude of feelings from fear to sadness to anger. The U.S.-led war on Iraq and the on-going violence in that country as well as other parts o f the world has meant terrorism has never been too far from our hearts and minds. Locally, the second anniversary of Sept. 11 will be met with both rem embrance and a refusal to allow terrorists to put a hold on our daily lives. For instance, several special Halton youngsters are gearing up to return to Disney World aboard a Sunshine Dreams For Kids dreamlift. Their original journey to visit M ickey Mouse and friends never m ateri alized because o f the terrorist attacks. Their plane was already in the skies jetting to the Magic Kingdom when the terrorists com m andeered the doom ed flights. The children and their devoted caregivers were stranded in Orlando for three days during an unprecedented suspension o f U.S. air travel. For many o f these children, it was their first trip away from their parents -- a heart-wrenching experience. The folks at Disney and other kind-hearted Am ericans did their best to bring cheer to the youngsters under the most o f trying of circumstances. But obviously it w asn't the same (it will never be the same.) On Sept. 25, more than two years after that fateful day, many o f these same youngsters and teens will once again be boarding a plane for Florida. Hopefully what was a disappointing journey for the chronically and terminally-ill children can be turned into a wonderful trip to the Magic Kingdom this tim e around. W hile Sept. 11, 2001 has forever been ^tch ed in our minds, we know that life does carry on even if it is "the new normal." D O N t TURN OUT DIE LIGHT/. THE W W TM ONSHER YOU LET HIM LISTEN TO AN ERNIE EVES ELECTION SPEECH, DIDN'T YOU? V/lU GET ME" ol iI LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Volunteer soccer coach felt 'judged, abused and hurt' As the soccer season draws to a close, I thought it a good time for one o f the many volunteer coach es to comment on the experience 1 had as a coach for a house league team within the Oakville Soccer Club (OSC). I had the opportunity to coach a team through another volunteer program I am involved w ith. Having not enough coaches, I agreed to help the club, as they had recently been very good to a friend o f mine. I had no experience playing soccer in any organized league but had represented the Ontario Field Hockey team for many years. The club assured me that I would do fine (after all no one else was step ping up to commit to what ended up to be in excess.of 100 hours o f time, four and a half months o f summer and over $100 o f their own money). I had attended a couple o f coaching clinics and had done quite a bit o f research on coaching philosophies and tactics. As pre pared as I thought I was, nothing could have prepared me for the experience I was about to endure. I went into the season with excite ment hoping to have a supportive and friendly group o f parents to build a powerful team dynamic with. A ll o f those hopes were quick ly disillusioned after the first game, where I was scolded m ulti ple times and left, the game com pletely alone, without one thank you and no help to carry all o f the team's supplies. I was ready to quit at this stage but I knew I had committed myself to my friend and the team. I went home in tears, completely shocked at the lack o f grace and appreciation from these parents. As the season progressed, so did the snide comments from the sidelines and the many nights where I walked to the car alone feeling used and abused. A num ber o f sideline comments had actually left some o f the children crying at halftime or after the game. By about the third game, I admit. I had given up trying because it took up too much time and effort to care and no matter what I did I was not going to satis fy everyone. I have never felt so alienated, judged and abused and hurt. As a volunteer, I went into this experi ence with no preconceived notions (I had no exposure to the culture o f the OSC) although I did have great expectations. I expected a great season, one where there would be a real team spirit (in all my years o f competitive sport, I always remember my teammates and all the great times we had). I expected that I would be appreciated and respected for my efforts, while instead I was con stantly judged and virtua lly ignored. I expected a degree o f civility where people would call to let me know i f they were going to miss a practice or a game, instead I would attend practice with three or four players and games with just enough to play. I never expfected that this low level o f house league would be so competitive or that there would be so little commitment from many o f the players and parents. Most o f all, I expected that the kids would learn some new skills and have a great time together. Despite the score, I always tried to keep it fun by choosing to allow them to try many positions, not relegating the less desirable positions to any particular person or letting the weaker players sit on the sidelines more than their peers. I hope they had fun but receiving unsupportive comments as soon as you make a mistake from people, who are supposed to be cheering you on, doesn't seem like much fun to me. In fairness to the team as a whole, there were a number o f parents (at least five or six sets) that made the experience bearable and should be very proud o f their children, as they were the most enjoyable and respectful on the team. It is clear that they are fol low ing their parents' positive example, as most kids do. I can honestly say that this is the worst volunteer experience that I have ever had and I w ill never do it again, not even when 1 have kids o f my own and I actual ly have a reason to take four and a half months out o f my summer to go to soccer twice a week. I hope that some parents read this and realize that although they have paid money to put their child in soccer, that money is barely enough to pay for the season and the club relies heavily on volun teers. Coaches do not get paid and do not claim to do this as their career. Until you have tried to do this job you have no right to comment unless you are w illing to follow up your comments by helping out. I hope that next season, parents make an effort to respect the coach and offer help so that some other volunteer's expectations and spirit do not get crushed. NAME WITH HELD UPON REQUEST College student thanks Lighthouse for support Imagine waking up one morning in a place full o f people you don't know. Both young and old surround you. You no longer set your own rules, but now have to abide by those in care o f you. The rtiles range from eating meals at certain times o f the day, to letting someone know when you are going out, to coming back in time for curfew. Forget having the time to deal what's just happened because you are also expected to get a job, have first and last and find a home...in two weeks. What if you had to wake up one morning knowing that a life that took you years to build is now given a deadline to be put back together? I was one o f those people. Only I was just setting out to start a new life. I' m 26 years old and I came here from Timmins on my own. not knowing anyone or anything about a big city. I am enrolled at Sheridan College in Journalism-Print program and following one bad situation after another. I ended up at the Lighthouse shelter. I had moved a total o f three times in about six months before making the fourth move to the shelter. I did n't want to be part o f a life with alcohol and drugs and because o f that choice and not knowing anyone, I had to make lastminute decisions on who to turn to. To be honest, before going to the shelter. I had my notions o f what it would be like; much like what people believe now and it really scared me. During my stay there, however. I met a lot o f people who were there for reasons different than mine, but with the same outcome -- nowhere to go and no one to turn to. It was much different than I expected. I got to know a lot o f good people and no matter how scared and alone I felt, they were, too, and that brought us closer together. There was always someone there to talk to and it held its own certain kind o f security. It felt more like part o f a home than it did a shelter and it saved me. I don't know where I would be now if I had to have gone to Hamilton or Toronto. I was still in the middle o f school and was just getting to know Oakville, let alone trying to get to know another city. The Lighthouse saved my life in more ways than one.When I first came to Oakville and heard about the reluctance o f resi dents to have one built, I was appalled. I ended up writing a fea ture story on it. Who would have known that I would ended up there? Now I've been on the other side. I ' ve been out o f the shelter for a few months now and I ' ve started to put my life back together. I' m heading back into my second year o f school, which I didn't think would happen, but I guess I'm still meant to be a journalist. I ' m still meant to fol low my dream. Oakville residents need to put themselves in someone else's shoes because, who knows, one day they may wake up and find the perfect fit. The Salvation Arm y Lighthouse shelter has been saving people across Canada for years; help keep it around for many more to come. Help support the building o f the shelter. RACHEL NADON Ed. Note: Normally, the Oakville Beaver does not run a letter without a name. However, we believe the reasons why the writer did not want us to print her name were reasonable and valid. Writer shares thoughts on same-sex marriage This letter, addressed to O ah'ille MP Bonnie Brown, was submitted to the Oakxille Beaver for publication. I read in the Oakxille Beaver that you have not yet decided where you stand on the new samesex marriage legislation. This inspires me to share my thoughts on the subject with you. I write from the perspective o f a person in a traditional marriage. 1 was married in a church, have remained married and faithful for 23 years, have seven children and do not use artificial birth control. I wonder how many people who say they want the civil defini tion o f marriage to keep its tradi tional meaning have really thought about what they are asking for. Do they want the law to say that people must be married in church? Do they want adultery, divorce and birth control to be illegal? Should the government enforce that mar ried couples have children? I am reasonably sure that the vast majority o f Canadians do not want this. Trying to give the civil defini tion o f marriage its traditional meaning at this point is shutting the bam door after the horse has been stolen, lived out its natural life and been dead for a few decades. The reality o f the situa tion is that a civil marriage is d if ferent from a traditional or reli gious marriage. C iv il marriage should be defined in reference to the civil rights o f Canadians not in refer ence to a tradition that the majority o f Canadians have abandoned. Clearly same-sex marriages should be allowed under Canadian law. JAYNE KUUKAUSKAS Pud MOM/WAtWA ( I N A SEE MY NEW 1 MlNskateboardJ 1 J R IC K ? '* L U ,t By STEVE NEASE We want your opinion _ MAN I \b u DONT CARE ABOUT | ' A N Y TH IN G 7A I The Oakx ille Beaver welcomes letters from its readers. Letters w ill be edited for clarity, length, legal considera tions and grammar. In order to be published, letters must contain the name, address and phone number o f the author. Letters should be addressed to The Editor, O akville Beaver, 467 Speers Road, O akville, On., L 6 K 3S4. or via email to editor@ oakvillebeaver.com . The Beaver reserves the right to refuse to publish any let ter. The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Coundl. Hie council is located at 80 GouJd S t, Suite 206. Toronto, Ont.. M5B 2M7. Phone (416) 340-1981. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of adver tising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, win not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate. T h en tihlkhpr revrvK ttw *rin h t torst« in ri7 Pjw iu p rtkp m p n Knrtie *lino