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Wednesday February 2, 2000 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER A7 COMMENT Everything old is new again in Preston's Party Okay. So let's just make sure we get this right thing right, right? Preston M anning, the guy who wrecked the right-leaning party that embraced small c conservatism and bilingualism so many years ago, is now touting that same philosophy under the guise of another name, the Canadian Alliance. After all the dust settled this weekend, that's really what happened with the right, right? Despite all the slick gimmicks, the thinking big slogan that made its way into the speeches about a million times, as if to say we really are prepared to make a difference, really and truly, just watch us....despite it all, there is really nothing so remarkable about a guy like Preston Manning picking up the pieces of a party he once wrecked. He's simply reinvented what he once destroyed. DIANE HART Years ago, those on the right had the party they wanted, apparently - it embraced small `c' conservatism, bilin gualism, less government and taxes. They might not have liked the leader, but they had the party, the philosophy they wanted. But Preston didn't like it. He wanted to create something completely different and he did that, bringing in his western Reform party cowboy-style and making it a part of the Canadian political land scape, dismantling the federal Tories in the process. The Tories watched, in horror, as they saw their party disintegrate. So what happens a few years later? He decides, rightly, that no one's going to hand him the keys to the Prime Minister's office when he's head of the western-based Reform party. He knows, cagey fella that he's always been, that the only way to do it is to give the impres sion of creating something new - hence, the Canadian Alliance, the same united alternative that looks very much like the old Tory party he once railed passionate ly against out west. , He has simply taken what worked in the past and what he worked so hard to destroy and use it for his own purposes today. The key to Preston Manning has, and always will be, is political ambition. The man oozes it with every breath. And you have to hand it to him - just when everyone thought he was toast, he hires a couple of Harris workers, gets some slick graphics, writes a great speech and presto - he's back. Another convention, another reinven tion. If he spoke French, he'd look a lot like Lucien Bouchard. And, like Bouchard, he has always been so easily underestimated. Politically, his timing was never bet ter - invent the party he wrecked years ago and look like a hero. It's not anything to do with thinking big. It's a lot to do with thinking smart. He's also smart enough to know he has to appear very different - he has to look as though he made a gutsy move, putting his job on the line. But really, he has done nothing of the sort. Many of those Reformers, still unhappy with the leader, voted in favour of the process and are still hoping a new saviour of the likes of Stockwell Day or Tom Long comes along. But they made mistakes this week end and Preston didn't. Long looked petty when he made a few cheap shots at Joe Clark and Stockwell Day looked plain weird when he did his karate kid imitation immedi ately following his speech. But Preston just did it all picture perfect, just like the script said he would. If you want to be a leader of a feder al party, you can't afford to look either petty or offbeat....ever. Preston Manning has always had an instinct for surrounding himself with some very good people and they worked wonders this weekend. He didn't make a mis take. He sold them the same goods they bought just a few short years ago and called it a new name. You couldn't get a better sales pitch from T. Eaton himself. Ooops, look what happened to him. W elcom e to A m erica, w here th e electio n s never stop Relax, the end is near. America is now entering into the last 10 months of a pres idential election race that began so long ago, Calvin Coolidge dropped out last week because, as his handlers said: "America is not yet ready to elect a pres ident suffering from serious decomposi tion. " Americans hold presidential elections every four years, mid-term elections every two years with caucuses, pri maries, straw polls, fund raisers and con ventions in between. This puts the United States in a constant, highly agitated state of election arousal. Americans love elections because they fill that awkward, awful void between the Super Bowl and the World Series. Americans love elections so much, a couple of weeks ago eight of the leading presidential contenders spent millions of campaign dollars in caucuses in Iowa, slapping backs and trudging through farms while cleaning off their shoes with sticks because ... it meant absolutely nothing. Nobody got elected, nominated or officially endorsed. It was an inter squad game, an exhibition match in America's passionate pastime of forever electioneering. With the salacious shadow of President Bill Clinton looming large in the background, candidates in this elec tion have been photographed kissing their wives more often than babies. Their speech writers use a "love check" on their laptops ensuring the L-word appears in every second sentence and this bunch o f candidates has discovered God faster than convicts on America's death row. American voters deserve better than 10 more months of this celebrity charade so here it i s ... the results of the next pres idential election minus the hype, the headlines, the bull and the bumper stick ers. Professional wrestler and Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura will not be the next president of the United States even though he's now mainstream respectable, no longer wearing his boa con strictor in pub lic. It won't happen, but I would love to see Donald Trump elected president. The Donald with his germ pho bia does not All The World's shake hands which means A Circus he'd have to greet people with a salute. Which means he'd have to wear a military uniform and naturally, name Michael Jackson as his vice-president. And Michael would have to clean up his marital situation by finally marrying WILLIAM THOMAS the chimp. Now that would be a White House worth watching. John McCain should be the next pres ident of the United States: a genuine American war hero, his adulterous days are behind him and his frozen french fries are the best on the market. John McCain can never be president of the United States because he's not pretty. With the notable exception of Richard Nixon, every U.S. president in the last four decades was approximately good looking. George W. Bush, the front-runner flush with $75 million, will not become president. Bush has spent the beginning of his campaign denying he smoked dope and the last while denying he is one. With an intellect thinner than an intern's thong, Bush is running out of cliches to hide behind. Besides, it's hard to vote for a guy who's message seems to be: "I'm here to finish the job my father screwed up!" Bill Bradley might be a deep thinker and a great leader, but who will ever know. This guy's so secretive his wife has to read his tea leaves to find out what he wants for lunch. Bradley can't con nect with young voters. Every time they read that he played 11 seasons with the New York Knicks, their reaction is the same: "White guys used to play in the NBA?!?" Do not use up your life linesJrying to figure out this election: A1 Gore will be the 43rd president of the United States. Final answer. He looks good, he loves not lusts, he's got God and despite smoking marijuana, he can name the leaders of most foreign countries because as vice-president he attended the funerals of their predecessors. And none of that really matters because the American presidential elec tion has become the greatest greed game show of them all. When they coined the definitive phrase that got Bill Clinton elected - "It's the economy, stupid!" they weren't just speaking directly to Dan Quayle. Think of recent presidential races as The Triple Crown of horse racing orga nized by rich and influential Americans, the same crowd you might see at Churchill Downs in Louisville during the running of the Kentucky Derby. The perennial favorite is the American dream horse Money Money Money. Clinton and A1 Gore have ridden the big red Wall Street stallion to recordearning wins in the Derby and the Preakness. Don't for a minute think that American voters are going to change jockeys with the Belmont Stakes sched uled for November 7. Money Money Money - the streak will be extended. PUBLIC INFORMATION MEETING offered by the Halton Healthy Community Funders U PETITE CLASSICS Is your community organization looking for money? Wednesday, February 9, 2000 7:30 pm Oakville Municipal Building · Trafalgar Room 1225 Trafalgar Room SEASON'S CLEARANCE «p t 0 W ro ff \J \S T Call 845-6601, EXT. 3147 · · · Som e exceptions apply. MAPLE GROVE VILLAGE, OAKVILLE 8 4 5 -0 6 5 5 O A KV I LL E G> Also in attendance: United Way of Oakville Trillum Foundation G> OAKVILLE YO U CAN M AKE A DIFFERENCE Monday, February 7 ,20 0 0 C o uncil M eeting Council C h a m b e rs 7 :3 0 p.m . 8 4 5 -6 6 0 1 C o u n c il & S t a n d in g C o m m it t e e M e e t in g s Monday, February 14,2000 Planning & D evelopm ent Council C ouncil C h a m b e rs 7 :3 0 p.m . Oakville Town Council invites you to volunteer your skills to assist in its decision-making. As vacancies occur, Council appoints people to various committees, boards and authorities that make decisions on issues effecting Oakville. If you apply, you could be selected to share your ideas on matters like heritage buildings, public facilities, or community services. It is Town policy that a citizen can only sarva on one committee at a time. If you apply and are accepted to serve on a second committee, you must resign from the committee you are currently serving on. WHO IS ELIGIBLE? All Oakville residents are invited to get involved. To reflect the diverse nature of the Town's population, women, people with disabilities, native peoples, and racial and ethnic minorities are especially encouraged to participate. HOW TO APPLY Anyone interested in applying, other than incumbents, must do the following: · Fill out an application form and return it to the Town Clerk's Department, 1225 Trafalgar Road, Oakville bv 4:30 p.m . Friday. February 18. 2000. SELECTION PROCESS Town Council will appoint qualified candidates for the positions based on the recommendations of the Administrative Services Committee. REMEMBER * Only RESIDENTS of the Town of Oakville are eligible. QUESTIONS? For more information, call Pat McPherson @ 845-6601, ext. 3136. Receipt of applications will be acknowledged only after the appointment process has been completed, at which time each applicant will be notified bv mail. Tuesday, February 15,2000 Community Services Com m ittee 7:30 p.m. - Oakville Room Administrative Services Comm . 7:30 p.m. - Bronte Room Monday, February 21,2000 C o uncil M ee tin g Council C h a m b e rs 7 :3 0 p.m . C o u n c il & C o m m it t e e T o u c h t o n e P h o n e L in e 815-5959 THE CORPORATION OF THE TOWN OF OAKVILLE QUOTATION Q-6-2000 UPGRADE OF EXISTING DASHER BOARD SYSTEM AT RIVER OAKS RECREATION CENTRE A d v is o ry B oard, C o m m itte e or A u th o rity Citizen Transit Advisory Committee Applicants should be a resident of Oakville for at least five years; have an understanding of transit and its role in the community; be able to attend evening meetings on a monthly basis and preferably be a Oakville Transit user. Seniors Advisory Committee Applicants must be over the age of 50 years; be familiar with the community; have a genuine interest in the welfare of others and be willing to make a commitment of 3 years. Special Committee Against Impaired Driving Applicants must have a keen interest in promoting anti-impaired driving awareness in the community and be able to attend early morning meetings. Traffic Advisory Committee Applicants should be community and technically minded with an interest in traffic safety and efficiency. An engineering background in the transportation discipline would be an asset on this committee. N um ber of Vacancies 2 M eeting Schedule 4th W ednesday, monthly (as required), in the evening SEALED QUOTATIONS on forms provided will be received by the Purchasing Department, 1225 Trafalgar Road, Oakville, Ontario L6J 5A6 until 12:00 noon, i Local Time, on MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21,2000 2 4th W ednesday in January, March, May, September & November, in the afternoon Specifications, quotation forms and quotation envelopes are available at the offices o f the Purchasing Department, telephone (905) 338-4197. The Town o f Oakville reserves the right to reject any or all quotations and the highest or lowest as the case may be will not necessarily be accepted. R. J. Coumoyer, C.I.M., P. Mgr. Director, Purchasing and Office Services 1 2nd Tuesday, monthly, in the morning 1 1st W ednesday, monthly, in the evening T ro o p e r says: R IV E DRY! A m e s s a g e fro m th e M a y o r 's S p e c ia l C o m m itte e A e a in s t Im D aired D r iv in e