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R The future's arrived and it smells like a meadow That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 21 | Thursday, June 16, 2016 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com arely when my kids ask for gift ideas for Father's Day do I have any suggestions, cool, creative, clever, or otherwise. But this year's the exception. This year, there's something that I want, and I want it bad. Kids: I know I'm not worthy of an $850 outlay (wait, that's a ballpark price and it's in U.S. dollars, so about $19,782 in Canadian cash). But if you can nd it in your generous hearts, I'd like an automated clothes folding machine. Ah, who am I kidding? I'd practically die for one of these babies. You see, years and years ago, as the guy with the of ce-in-home -- therefore, the guy who rarely ever leaves the nest and who is always in close proximity to both washing machine and dryer -- I was entrusted with the essential, albeit mind-numbingly mundane, task of doing the family laundry. Yeah, not half as glamorous as it sounds. And let's face it, we're a lthy bunch. We spend considerable time outdoors playing with (or tending to) hounds, horses and the homestead. We workout most days. We spill, we sweat, we strain, we stain, and it all adds up to a whack of wash. You know how I loathe exaggerations (see paragraph two re: Canadian cash), but I'd estimate we do about 750 loads. Each week. In the big scheme of things, laundry's not so bad. You just grab the dirty clothes out of the hamper -- or off the oor, in the case of your kids -- and cram `em into the washer. An hour later you extract the wet, wrinkly clothes from the washer and cram `em into the dryer. Add an anti-static sheet and Bob's your uncle. Piece of cake, right? Wrong. Because when the dryer buzzer sounds and jolts you out of your morning (or afternoon, or evening) nap, you have to actually fold that load, which takes forever. Honestly, I swear I've spent most of my adult life folding clothes. Again, an understatement. Again, not half as glamorous as it sounds. Then, along comes a robotic clothes folding machine. You read that right: a machine that takes your freshly laundered, still wet and wrinkly clothes -- up to 30 items at a time, if you can even imagine -- and steams them, sanitizes them, folds them, softens them, and spritzes them with perfume, making you smell like a baby in a meadow. All in less than one minute. What sweet sorcery is this? Talk about heaven on Earth. Finally, a technological innovation that not only boggles my mind, but that doesn't somehow manage to make me angry -- and that I can actually use. Naturally, there is a down side to the gadget. It ain't available. Not yet. But preorders can be placed now. In the meantime, you can spend your days in gleeful contemplation of never again having to fold laundry. I'm contemplating. And I have goosebumps. Now to the gadet's makers, how about a machine that loads and unloads the dishwasher? Makes beds? Cleans bathrooms? Suddenly, every day of the year would be Father's Day. Editor's Note: Andy Juniper is away this week. This editorial was written by an automated writing machine. The future has arrived. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www. facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www. twitter.com/thesportjesters. Follow Oakville Beaver staff on Twitter: @OakvilleBeaver, @NewsHooked, @DavidLea6, @JuliaLeReporter, @HerbGarbutt, @PostBeaverSport and @Halton_Photog summer sPeCIALs! You get just one funeral. Make it the one you want. You are unique. Your life is unlike any other. By pre-planning your final arrangements now, you can choose the options that reflect how you want to be remembered. What's more, you can save thousands of dollars and protect family from uncertainty about your wishes. Take the first step: Ask us about your FREE Planning Kit! 905-257-1100 Look for us on Facebook glenoaks.ca Glen Oaks Funeral Home & Cemetery by Arbor Memorial Plannin g Kit! Family Owned. Proudly Canadian. FREE 3164 Ninth Line (403 & Dundas St.), Miss./Oakville, ON Arbor Memorial Inc.