in si de ha lto n. co m O ak vi lle B ea ve r | T hu rs da y, A pr il 11 ,2 01 9 | 26 "What a disaster!" "This is a nightmare!" "It's a total crisis!" When things go wrong, how often do we think these things to ourselves? When we feel overwhelmed and stressed and our cop- ing strategies are maxed out, it's easy to blow things out of proportion and feel like they are worse than they really are. It was a psy- chotherapist named Albert Ellis who coined a telling term for this trend: "awfu- lizing". Think of this example: you are planning for an im- portant meeting at work to- morrow when your young child comes down with a stomach bug. Your brain can quickly ramp up with something like, "Oh, no! Now I'll need to be home to- morrow! I'm going to miss my meeting, my colleagues are going to be mad, and ev- erything will be a mess. This is the end of the world! Why does this always hap- pen to me?!" Your challenge has es- calated into something aw- ful and unmanageable, making you feel extra anx- ious, panicked, stressed, and scattered. Awfulizing is very common and can definitely take a toll on overall mental health. So, what can you do to cope with and reduce awfu- lizing? • Pay attention to the words you say to yourself. Words like "nightmare", "crisis", and "disaster" can send your stress level through the roof. Take a step back and a deep breath and use more reasonable words. • Take time to manage your feelings. Challenges can catch you off guard, and feeling edgy, nervous, and flustered is typical. Cope with and contain these feelings with some deep breaths, positive self- talk (like "I can handle this"), and accurate labels - it feels less overwhelming to say to yourself "I feel ner- vous" than it does to say, "This is a crisis." • Focus on solutions. A concrete, reasonable plan like, "I need to either find someone to stay with my child, reschedule the meet- ing, or check if I can call in" can counter the awfulizing by showing that the chal- lenge is manageable in at least some way. • Communicate what you need. Don't assume that others will awfulize the way that you might. They may be happy to re- schedule the meeting or have you join by phone. And if they are not? Do what you can to activate your plan and keep up with your positive coping strate- gies to manage your feel- ings. You did not choose for your child to be sick, so don't take on responsibility and guilt for things like this that are out of your hands. What's the opposite of "awfulizing"? Maybe we could call it "reasonabliz- ing" or "manageablizing"- either way, keep it in mind to help cope with challeng- es. Melanie McGregor is the communications and advancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/ addiction community sup- port and education. Visit www.halton.cmha.ca for more information and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter. AN AWFUL MESS...OR IS IT? OPINION TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, WRITES MELANIE MCGREGOR MELANIE MCGREGOR Column Halton police are inves- tigating after $4,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from an Oakville home on Fri- day, March 15. At some point during the day, someone ap- proached a residence on Wilder Drive, near Lake- shore Road West, and pried open a side door, police said. The intruder stole jew- elry, along with foreign currency valued at about $900. No one was home at the time of the break-in, and no suspect description is available. Police are also looking for the individual who broke into a home on Went- worth Street on Sunday, March 17. At some point during the afternoon, someone forced open the dwelling's rear door, police said. No one was home at the time of the break-in. For some reason, the suspect does not appear to have taken anything. Anyone with informa- tion about either of these incidents is asked to con- tact Halton police at 905- 825-4747, ext. 2216, or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477). HALTON POLICE INVESTIGATING AFTER $4,000 WORTH OF JEWELRY STOLEN FROM OAKVILLE HOME DAVID LEA dlea@metroland.com NEWS At Kerr Street Mission, the greatest wish of each staff and volunteer is that our efforts, big or small, have positive impact down the road. Last week our Neighbour Care Network (NCN) team had a chance to see how even their small efforts are making such a large impact. A past client stopped by and mentioned that both he and his wife are doing well and working in jobs close to their expertise. He also said that he didn't know how they would have managed without the support of KSM. Through the NCN we connected them with people who have become like family. When they first arrived in Oakville they were so lonely and at their very first meal they were introduced to so many Columbian and South American friends. Monday community meals became a family reunion for them and that community became more important to them than any of the food they received. It was one of those reminders, that even the smallest act can change a person's life. To learn more about KSM and the Neighbour Care Network, please reach out to us. KSM. 485 Kerr Street, Oakville. 905.845-7485. Charitable Reg. No. 897106845RR0001