7 | O akville B eaver | T hursday,A ugust 20,2020 insidehalton.com Independent Living Apartments • Full Service Retirement Suites • Assisted Care • Memory Care STAYING TOGETHER in our apartment while my husband gets great care, ENJOYING THE FREEDOM to prepare fresh meals in our full kitchen and PLAYING CARDS on Thursday evenings with my friends. I'm looking forward to...I'm looking forward to... LIFE at The VillageLIFE at The Village 2930 Erin Centre Boulevard, Mississauga For more inform ation call Christina or B radley 905-56 9-7155 x 8015 schlegelvillag es.com LETTER TO THE EDITOR There are few circumstances in life that are worse than sudden tragedy. Those who experience the tragedy first-hand need and deserve compassion of their community and neighbourhood. The recent fire off Marine Drive has shak- en our community specifically. We are a close-knit, kind and neighbourly group that exhibit the essence of Oakville -- a warm "hello" on the lake path from a stranger is never uncommon. Unfortunately, the fire in this community has made some of us forget the kindness and compassion of this community that the prop- erty victims so richly need at this time. May I please make a request of those who actively choose to stop by the site of the fire, from behind or in front of our neighbour's hurt homes? Perhaps, instead of pointing fingers at the damage in awe, they instead, point their ener- gy to compassionate prayer for the affected families; meditating on the word "healing"; and finally, remembering the neighbour- hood ethos we are all blessed to be a part of. JULIANA R. BILLING OAKVILLE LET'S SHOW OUR COMPASSION FOR FIRE VICTIMS For years, I've seen an easy reminder of how to manage stress floating around. I'm not sure who first came up with it, but it's plain and simple: "Triple A." This stands for Avoid, Alter and Accept -- three approaches we can take when faced with things that tax us. Sure, the challenges in our life can be complex, but the As at least give us a starting point for thinking about how we can cope. First, "avoid" -- definitely the easiest way to get rid of stress because it means that we just don't deal with whatever is causing it. Of course, we can't go around avoiding everything that makes us feel a bit fraz- zled, but sometimes we can avoid things even if we think we can't. We may get so wrapped up in keeping familiar routines (even those that aren't working), living up to our or others' expectations or trying to show that we can "do it all" that we don't consider all of our options. So, how does "avoiding" actually work? Here are a few things to ask your- self: • "Am I at my limit?" We only have so much time and energy to give and it's im- portant to keep an eye on how we are feel- ing. Are you overwhelmed, tired or irrita- ble, or showing other signs that your cop- ing skills are tapped with what you're currently dealing with? If it's a resound- ing yes or even a strong maybe, be very selective about what you're taking on and avoid what you can. • "Can I say no?" We may be reluctant to say no for a number of reasons, such as fearing giving up control or that others will judge us, so giving yourself permis- sion to weigh saying no if you can is the first step. Think about what saying yes would mean for your stress level, and if it seems unmanageable, consider taking a pass on optional things. It may be key to a healthy balance. • "Can I delegate?" Delegating doesn't mean randomly pawning off undesirable tasks on others. It means giving up a need for control and putting trust in others when we simply aren't able to give some- thing the energy and attention it needs. Keys to delegating are choosing someone who has time and skills to give, express- ing your reason for asking and your grat- itude, and then letting it go. Micromanag- ing and looking over someone's shoulder will do little to reduce your stress level. • "Is this a priority?" Just because a task is on your to-do list, it doesn't mean it has to be done now. Weigh the benefit of getting it off your list with the relief of keeping it for later and decide which is best for you. Stay tuned to our next two columns for more on altering and accepting. Melanie McGregor is the communica- tions and advancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/addiction community support and education. Visit www.hal- ton.cmha.ca for more information and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter. TRY THE TRIPLE-A APPROACH TO STRESS MANAGEMENT OPINION HERE ARE SOME TOOLS TO HELP AVOID PLACING UNDUE BURDEN ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, WRITES MELANIE MCGREGOR MELANIE MCGREGOR Column