The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the month: Be to his virtues very kind and to his faults a little blind. Did you ever wonder... e How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What did cured ham actually recover from? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie but you are ON TV? Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would ask, “And what’s that supposed to mean?” Thus Webster’s Dictionary was born. Mother Love An elderly lady called her friend, May, on her 100" birthday. “How are you going to celebrate?” she asked. “My children are coming for the weekend,” May said happily. “You must be looking forward to that,” her friend said. “Yes,” May replied, “but it’s a lot of work washing the floors, making the beds and cooking meals.” “Why don’t you wait and have the children do it?” the lady suggested. “Oh, no, | couldn’t do that,” May countered, “They're in their 80s!” Pat's Playhouse Hand Knit Scarves, Mitts, Socks, Hats & Toys, Receiving Blankets, Baby & Lap Quilts, Books, & Mailboxes Pat York, 113 Morrison Point Road, 613.476.6929 Follow me at Pat's Playhouse on Facebook! After Leslie brought home her fiancé to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him. “What are your plans?” he asked Joseph. “\’m a scholar of the Torah,” Joseph replied. “Well, that’s admirable,” Leslie’s father re- plied. “But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?” “| will study and God will surely provide for us,” Joseph explained. “And how will you buy her a nice engage- ment ring?” “| will study hard and God will provide for us.” “And children?” asked the father. “Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replied the fiancé. The conversation continued along the same fashion. After Joseph and Leslie had left, her mother asked her father what he found out. The father answered, “Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I’m od.” Q: Why does a man examine his wedding ring? A: He’s trying to find the expiry date. Exit Line: Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. COMMERCIAL Please Call: 613.848.0823