The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Learning to say "I'm sorry" brings peace to your life. 7 Some conversion tables: Half of a large intes(cid:415)ne = 1 semicolon Basic unit of laryngi(cid:415)s = 1 hoarsepower 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 1 million million microphones = 1 megaphone 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds 52 cards = 1 decacards A buyer was considering purchasing an aging thorough- bred but wanted a veterinarian's opinion of the horse before finalizing the deal. When the vet had completed his examina(cid:415)on, the poten- (cid:415)al buyer asked, "Will I be able to race him?" The vet looked at the buyer, then at the horse. "Sure," he replied, "And you'll probably win." A mother was horrified to find her son ea(cid:415)ng out of the sugar bowl. "Don't let me catch you doing that again," she scolded. He was willing but dubious. "I'll try, mommy," he said, "but you're so quiet some(cid:415)mes." Exit Line: The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than "please". I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes." Don't you love these "play on words"? She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her s(cid:415)ll. No ma(cid:425)er how much you push the envelope, it'll s(cid:415)ll be sta(cid:415)onery. cited for li(cid:425)ering. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a (cid:415)e. A hole was found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking in to it. A local minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes on Sunday morning which was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of ea(cid:415)ng paper, ate that por(cid:415)on of my sermon that I was unable to deliver this morning." A(cid:332)er the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the preacher and said, "Pastor, if that dog of yours has any pups, I want to get one to give to my minister." A man walked into a drugstore and asked the pharmacist, "Do you have anything for hiccups?" Without warning, the pharmacist reached over and gave the man a sharp sack on his back. "Did that help?" he inquired. "I don't know, the startled man replied. "I'll have to ask my wife she's wai(cid:415)ng in the car." Returning from a trip to visit her grandmother, a young woman was stopped by a country cop for exceed- ing the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a (cid:415)cket, she gave the officer a small bag of her grand- mother's delicious chocolate chip cookies. Later she was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" she asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling, "I heard you were passing out chocolate chip cookies." www.minakersautoparts.ca