The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see. 7 The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about doing all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week. He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge and was half- way through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her win- dow, "Say, what do you get for yard work?" The fel- low thought for a moment and then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her." To get his mind off losing at the racetrack, I took my friend horseback riding. Being a novice, he panicked when his horse took off. "How do I get it to slow down?" he yelled. "Bet on it," I hollered back. Exit lines: I have never killed a man but I have read many obi- tuaries with great pleasure. He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends. Question: What is the hardest part about skydiv- ing? Answer: The ground! If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. Bumper S(cid:415)ckers Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them. Why do psychics have to ask you your name? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I used to have an open mind but my brains kept fall- ing out. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. "No, Athena wasn't married; she was the goddess of "Excuse me, madam," a visitor interjects. "Who is During a museum tour, the guide explains, "Here you can see the beau(cid:415)ful statue of Athena…" that man behind her?" Is he her husband?" wisdom." Dearest Jimmy, No words could ever express the great unhappiness I've felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you'll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yours forever, Marie. P.S. And congratula(cid:415)ons on winning the lo(cid:425)ery. A couple arrived home quite late a(cid:332)er a party. As the wife was ge(cid:427)ng ready for bed, the husband hurried into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water and two Aspirins. A(cid:332)er he handed them to his wife, she asked, "What's this?" Father Henry was helping a couple plan their wedding a(cid:332)er the close of the morning service. The priest had wanted to call the engaged couple down for a brief cere- mony before the congrega(cid:415)on. For the life of him he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. the front," Father Henry requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four wid- owers and six single men stepped up to the front. "Aspirin," he replied "But I don't have a headache," she shot back. "A-ha!" roared the husband with glee, "Gotcha!" "Will those wan(cid:415)ng to get married, please come to