The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Once you get started doing nothing, it's hard to quit. 7 On the third day, the army issued him a jock strap. The army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. Fi(cid:332)y-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was dra(cid:332)ed by the army. On his first day of basic training, the army issued him a comb. That a(cid:332)ernoon, the army barber shaved off his hair. On the second day, the army issued Herman a toothbrush. That a(cid:332)ernoon, the army den(cid:415)st yanked seven of his teeth. A woman from the city stopped at a small country store and asked the clerk behind the counter for some fresh meat. that's fresh is cow's tongue." that came out of an animal's mouth." She said. Exit lines: 1. About the only thing you can do on a shoestring "Yes, ma'am, I understand." the clerk replied. "In that case, may I suggest our farm fresh eggs?" "I'm sorry, ma'am," the clerk said. "All we have The woman made a face. "Oh, I won't eat anything these days is trip. 2. Reaching high keeps a man on his toes. We all make mistakes Sally was in the kitchen When she heard the telephone She ran right quick to answer 'Cause no one else was home. "Honey? Bring the chequebook, And, Honey, don't be mad: I got the hiccups at the auc(cid:415)on And bought every cow they had!" Her reply without hesita(cid:415)on, "the wrinkles". On her 41st birthday, a woman received as extravagantly expensive wrinkle removing cream from her teenage daughter. "And what did she give you last year?" a guest asked Mom. Unusual Headlines Man struck by lightning faces ba(cid:425)ery charge. New study of obesity looks for a larger test group. Astronaut takes blame for gas in Spacecra(cid:332). Kids make nutri(cid:415)ous snacks. Chef throws his heart into helping needy. Arson suspect is held in Massachuse(cid:425)s fire. Bri(cid:415)sh Union finds dwarfs in short supply. Local high school dropouts cut in half. Man minus ear waives hearing. While enjoying a lunch(cid:415)me pint in a Newcastle pub in the Scotswood Road, four elderly gentlemen were discussing everything from football, the economy, the weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days". Eventually, the conversa(cid:415)on moved on to their wives. One guy turns to another and asks, "Hey, Alan, aren't you and your lass celebra(cid:415)ng your fi(cid:332)ieth wedding anniversary soon?" brate, man?" another bloke asked. Alan pondered this for a moment then replied, "For our twenty-fi(cid:332)h anniversary, I took Hazel to Sutherland. Maybe for our fi(cid:332)ieth, I'll go down there and bring her back." "Sure, man, we are," replied Alan. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to cele-