The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. 7 Some answers wri(cid:425)en by school kids: 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies who live on the Sarah desert and wrote the hydraulics. 2. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100- foot clipper. the same offence. 3. Magna Carta made it illegal to hang a man twice for 4. The Romans are so-called by historians because they didn't stay in one place at for long. 5. Homer wasn't actually wri(cid:425)en by Homer but by another man of the same name. 6. Nero was a Roman emperor who tormented his subjects by playing his fiddle to them. 7. Socrates died of an overdose of wedlock. An elderly woman was si(cid:427)ng alone with her cat polishing a dusty lamp she'd found in the a(cid:427)c, when a genie popped out and offered her three wishes. Thinking quickly, she said, "I'd like to be rich. I'd like to be young and beau(cid:415)ful again. And, I'd like my cat to turn into a handsome prince." There was a puff of smoke and she found herself young and glamorous, surrounded by riches. The cat had disappeared and a gorgeous prince stood beside her. She melted into his embrace. "Now," he whispered, "aren't you sorry you had me fixed?" A city man approached a local farmer and asked him what his horse was worth. "That depends," said the farmer. "Are you the county tax assessor or the owner of the car that killed him?" A very successful farmer had a mee(cid:415)ng with his new son- in-law. "I love my daughter and now I welcome you into the family," said the farmer. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my farm opera(cid:415)on. All you have to do is go to the farm every day and learn the opera(cid:415)ons." farms. I can't stand the smell." "I see," said the father-in-law. "Well, then, you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the opera(cid:415)ons." a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the farmer. "I just made you half owner of a money-making organiza(cid:415)on but you don't like farms and won't work in an office. What am I going to do with you?" "I hate office work. I can't stand being stuck behind Morris, the son-in-law, intervened with, "I hate "Easy," said Morris, "Buy me out." He wouldn't dare tell any of them standing s(cid:415)ll. Did you hear about the comic who told the same stories three nights running? There's a story going around about an urbanite who just moved into a rural community and was calling the local township office to have a sign removed that read "Deer Crossing". Apparently he had no(cid:415)ced several deer being hit by cars in that area. He no longer wanted the deer to cross there as it was too dangerous. Exit Lines: Q: What comes from a tree and fights cavities? A: A toothpick. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings. Now open Saturday & Sunday 11:00 to 5:00, otherwise by chance or appointment, until Christmas. Closed January 1 until March 23, 2019 3271 County Road 13 South Marysburgh 613.476.4785