The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the Month — Every juvenile delinquent has an accomplice — his parents. A family from the country was visiting Toronto for the first time. They stayed in a highrise hotel with a big brass elevator right off the lobby. The father and son stared at it in amaze- ment wondering what it was. The boy asked his father, “Pa, what do you reckon that thing is?” The father answered, “I don’t rightly know, son.” Just then an old, frumpy woman with curlers in her hair steps into the elevator and the doors shut behind her. After a couple of minutes, the doors opened again and a beautiful young blonde wearing a mini-skirt walks o1 The father leans over to his son and says, "say, go get your mother.” # A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victo- ries. After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked as they moved off. “Because | can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” # Asign on the lawn of a drug rehab centre “Keep off the Grass”. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of reli- gion. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects. What do you call a fish with no eye? Answer: a fish. # My first job was working in an orange factory but | got canned — couldn’t concentrate. Then | worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but | couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that, | tried to be a tailor, but | just wasn’t suited for it because it was a so-so job. Next, | tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhaustin; | attempted to be a deli worker, but the way | sliced it, | couldn’t cut the mustard. best job was being a musician, but eventually | found | wasn’t notewort I studied 2 a long time to become a doctor, but | didn’t have any patient I became z a professional fisherman, but discovered that couldn’t live on my net income. | managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was too drai | got a job at a zoo feeding siraffes, ut | was fired because | wasn’t up to it. | got a job at a coffee shop but | had to quit because it was always the same old grind. | finally got a job as a historian until | realized there was no future in it. So then | retired...and found out | was perfect for the job! An aged farmer and his wife were recalling their past. Next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. “Let’s have a party with a pig roast,” she suggested wistfully. The farmer scratched his head and returned with “Gee, | don’t see why the pig should take the blame for what hap- pened 50 years ago.” Exit Lines e Athief who stole a calendar got 12 months. «The batteries were given out free of charge. e With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. Patricia Back Celebrates 90 Years Continued from page 6 tucked into a bottle, would show a route that if followed, would result in a stash of treats. For many years a 9-hole golf course existed — and when you talked about landing on the rough — you truly were on the rough! Sadly, several of the original owners have passed away and their properties have succeed- ed to the next generation. Patricia and her sister Joan Sweeney are the only remain- ing original owners. Cousins are becoming the new genera- tion to enjoy the beautiful sun- sets on Smith Bay and have now become permanent resi- dents. Certificates of recognition of the occasion were received from all levels of government: Mayor Steve Ferguson, MPP Todd Smith and MP Elect Ryan Williams. Order your CHRISTMAS PRINTING NOW! Custom Cards, Calendars v & MORE... Lo 613.476.3272 - 888.301.7528 #@ PLANT: 26 Cold Storage Rd. PICTON ® printcraftpec.com