|The South Marysburgh Mirror 14] Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem Of The Month - There is no tranquilizer more effective than a few kind words These quotes were taken from actual medical records: 1. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she be- gan seeing me in 1993. N 5. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. 6. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her hus- band states she was very hot in bed last night. Medicine — asthma and cancer can be detected if the breath has been blasted with laser light. Scientists can detect more than a thousand types of molecules by distinct combina- tions and amounts and frequencies. More tests are required for clinical trials. God is talking to an angel about creating the world. “I just made a 24-hour period”, God explains. “It will be half light and half dark, and it will keep repeating itself until the end of time”. “Wow,” said the angel. “What are you going to do next”. “Well, I think I’ll call it a day.” Sweet and Sour Chicken Wings Combine in a small saucepan, the following ingredients. Bring to a boil, stirring till sugar is dissolved. 1 cup sugar 1 cup cider vinegar % cup ketchup 2T soy sauce 1 tsp chicken granules Place 16 chicken wings in 3-qt slow cooker. Add vinegar mixture, cover and cook on low for 3 to 3 % hours till chicken is done. Pour cooking juices in small saucepan. Combine 6T cornstarch with % cup cold water. Stir into cooking juices till thickened. Serve over cooked chicken. Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died. He decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most stunning woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “J may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he sidled up to her, “but in a short time, my father will die, and I'll inherit $20 million.” Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. Exit Lines — Once upon a time there was a lion so ferocious that he ate a bull. He felt so proud of himself that he roared loudly. A hunter heard the roar and promptly shot the lion. The moral of the story: If you’re full of bull, keep your Pat’s Jams Jams Chutneys Relishes Diabetic jam also Gift Baskets available from $10 Ready-made or made to order Wedding favours Visit our jam house! 113 Morrison Point Road Phone 476.6929 Imouth shut. Gentle Yoga with PIERRETTE ryt500 Every Wednesday and Friday at 9.00 am Call to register 613-476-5500