South Marysburgh Mirror (Milford, On), September 2008, p. 11

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|The South Marysburgh Mirror 14] Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem Of The Month - If your mind should go blank, don’t forget to turn off the sound. Medical News - In Canada, the majority of physicians under the age of 35 are women. (Reader’s Digest) When my friend phoned the tax office, he prefaced his comments by stating, “I’m calling with the stupid question of the day.” The tired-sounding agent replied, “Too late.” ymorons — 2 words of opposite meanings put together. 1. Terribly pleased 2. Small crowd 3. Peacekeeping force 4. Resident alien 5. Drawing a blank 6. Civil war 7. Plastic silverware 8. Cold sweat 9. Original copy 10. Slow speed An organization in the zoo has two books — the Bible and Darwin’s The Origin of Species. He’s trying to figure out if he’s his brother’s keeper - or his keeper’s brother. Greek Tomato and Cucumber Salad 2 cups chopped cucumber 2 tomatoes, cut in chunks Y% cup coarsely chopped green peppers % cup thinly sliced red onions ¥ cup Kraft Greek Feta crumbles ¥ cup Kraft Signature Greek with Feta and Oregano dressing Y% tsp lemon zest Toss together and serve immediately or cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. (4 servings) Did you know? Things were tense on the soccer field, with a tie score. A cheer went up as one team scored a go-ahead goal. A father from the opposite team cautioned, * ‘It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.” “Well,” said a generously proportioned mother as she rose from her seat, “if that’s what it takes...” 65% of Canadians purchase lottery tickets - 37% on a weekly basis considering your chances of winning are 1 in 14 million for the 649 lottery. Quebec has the highest lottery participation rate of 71%, next Nova Scotia with 67%, PEI and Alberta have the lowest rate at 61%. (Reader’s Digest) Exit Line — An appeaser is one who feeds a Pat’s Jams Jams Chutneys Relishes Diabetic jam also Gift Baskets available from $10 Ready-made or made to order Wedding favours Visit our jam house! 113 Morrison Point Road Phone 476.6929 Pulling into a crowded parking lot, I asked the cop standing there, “Ts it all right to park he ere? “No,” he said. “Can’ t you see that NO PARKING si “What about all hose other cars in there?” He shrugged. “They didn’t ask.” crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. - (Winston Churchill)