[12 |, The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem Of The Month - People who wake up and find themselves successful, haven't been asleep. The World of Medicine - Scientists now have an artifi- cial hand that can touch and feel. It is wired to the perfect working nerve endings at the stem of the severed hand. This enables the person to write and feel with artificial fingertips. (Reader's Digest) During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how the staff determined if a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup or a bucket to patients and ask them to empty the bathtub.” "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "Someone who is not insane would use the bucket because it's the biggest." "No," said the director, "some who is not insane woul pull the plug. Now, do you want a bed near the window?" Money Language 1. Money may not always talk, but it's the closest we've come to a language everybody can understand. 2. People with money are the first to say the best things in life are free. 3. When money talks, nobody pays much attention to the grammar. Pat's Jams Jams Chutneys Relishes Diabetic jam also Gift Baskets available from $10 Ready-made or made to order Wedding favours Visit our jam house! 113 Morrison Point Road Phone 476-6929 ———_—_—__—_——_——— Toffee Bits Cookies 1 cup butter or margarine, softened 1 cup packed brown sugar Beat together till fluffy. Beat in 1 egg yolk and 1 tsp vanilla till creamy. Stir in 2 cups all purpose flour and 1 cup of toffee bits till well combined. Press this dough evenly in a 15 1/2" x 10 1/2" pan lined with parchment paper. Bake for 18-20 minutes at 350 degrees. Immediately sprinkle 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips over the hot cookie base. Spread 1/4 cup toffee bits evenly over chocolate topping. Cool til chocolate is set (2-3 hours). Cut into squares or triangles. Ulterior Meanings 1. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 2. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 3. N lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and ‘taint mine. 4. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 5. He had a photographic memory which was never de- veloped. 6.A Mplatean i is a high form of flattery. 7. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 8. Those who get too big for their britches will be ex- posed in the end. Did you ever wonder why... coin banks are pig- shaped? Cookware in Europe was once made of a dense, orange clay called pygg. As housewives began saving coins in jars made of this clay, the jars came to be known as pygg pots. In the 19th century, English potters misunderstood the term, and when asked to make a pygg pot, they made one shaped like a pig. (Reader's Digest) Exit Line - Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses and some don't turn up at all