South Marysburgh Mirror (Milford, On), August 2010, p. 12

The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

[12 |, The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem Of The Month . People who stretch the truth often find it snaps back. A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back in to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just go- ing upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid thing was hid- ing under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out." Grilled Potatoes with Sour Cream Sauce In a large bowl combine the following: 2 T olive oil 2 tsp lemon juice 1 T barbecue seasoning 1 or 2 garlic cloves, minced Add 1 1/2 Ib small potatoes, quartered and toss to lace on a double thickness of heavy duty tin- foil and fold tightly around potatoes to seal. Grill, cov- ered, over medium heat till potatoes are tender. (20- 25 min) Make a sauce of: 2/3 cup ranch, salad dressing 4 tsp baco: 2tsp minced chives Dash hot pepper Serve with grilled potatoes. Pat's Jams Jams Chutneys Relishes Diabetic jam also Gift Baskets available from $10 Ready-made or made to order Wedding favours Visit our jam house! 113 Morrison Point Road Phone 476-6929 Signs of the Times You know you're getting old when: -the gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife. -your back goes out more than you do. -your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. -you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. -everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. -the gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals. You can carry a pack if it's strapped to your back, You can carry a weight in your hands. You can carry a bundle on top of your head As they do in other lands. Do you know why manholes are round? If they were any other shape, the manhole cover could be turned so that it would fal through the hole. New Murphy's Laws 1. The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 2. The chances of an open-faced sandwich landing face down on pe oor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of 3. “sflery _ hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. 4, When you try to show a mechanic that a machine won't work, it will. 5. When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Closing Thought - We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our head's. So, I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me. That's my story and I'm stick- ing to it. Please patronize our advertisers. Without their support the Mirror could not be published.