The South Marysburgh Mirror 9 Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the Month — Talk is cheap, but you can’t buy it back. Choosing and keeping a husband happy. First of all, choose carefully. Don’t pick one too young and take one who has been reared in a good moral atmos- phere. Once chosen, let that remain settled and practise for domestic bless. Do not keep them in a pickle or hot water as this only makes them sour, hard and bitter. Keep them sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, smiles and kisses. Wrap them in a mantle of charity, keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream. When thus prepared, they will keep for years. (The same kindness and caring is equally beneficial for wives.) S N w cal Ht Things we have learned from the Covid virus. e In 2015, no one got the answer right to the question, Where do you see yourself in five years? e It take a rare skill to work from home and still be late to work. e The expression “avoid it like the plague” needs to be re- tired because people don’t do that. e They said if we stop eating out, we’d lose weight. Quar- antine determined that was a lie. « We thought dogs were hard to train. Humans don’t know how to sit and stay, either. e We realized that our only hobbies were going out to eat and spending money. HH lused to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. A clear conscience is the sign of a hazy memory. Ht Things we didn’t know about cows. Q. What do you call a cow that has just given birth? A. De-calfinated. Q. What do you call it when a cow tries to jump over a barbed-wire fence? A. Udder destruction. Elizabeth Crombie Real Estate Team 104 Main Street, Picton T. 613.476.2700 TF: 877.476.0096 elizabeth.crombie@sympatico.ca Crombierealestateteam.com ove To Visit Live Where You Q. What are a cow’s favourite subjects in school? A. Moosic, phycowology and cowculus. Q. What do you call a cow that can’t give much milk? A. Amilk dud. Ht A couple was staying at a country resort and became friendly with the handyman. “My neighbour has a nice little cottage for sale, in case you’re interested,” he told them. Despite its run-down appearance, the couple fell in love with the place and bought it “as is”. The day they moved in, their new friend dropped by. “You got a good buy,” he admitted. “Cottage needs some work, though. Roof leaks, plumbing’s shot and the well runs dry in the summer.” Dismayed, the woman retorted, “Why didn’t you tell us before we bought it?” “Weren’t neighbours then,” he replied. Ht “Now, what are you planning to do about that excess weight you’re carrying around?” the doctor asked the patient. “| just can’t seem to lose weight,” the patient said. “Must be an overactive thyroid.” “The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. “If anything is overactive, it’s your fork.” Ht Exit Line— e Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly...and for the same rea- son. e =| sawa sign that said, “Watch for children” and | thought “That sounds like a fair trade.” e Beauty Parlour—A place where women curl up and dye. Back the Build & Sat Give to Your New County Hospital “= SN 1111100001111 ROYAL LEPAGE PN 1111100001111 ProALLIANCE Brokerage | Independently Owned & Operated REALTY