kl Re Olympics Continued from page 5 athletes of today. I mean, gee, watching speed skaters with legs like tree trunks only makes one feel inadequate. 3) All events must have a male and a female category. The Olympics rules require this now, I think, and it's a good idea. However, given rule (2) above, I think it's a good idea to require all participants to be totally clothed in baggy attire. No one would require fon fitting leotards in any event because they wouldn't be going fast enough that they would need something to break the wind. I really don't want to see a bunch of poorly conditioned humans competing in thongs. There's really nothing more form disguising than the ubiquitous sweat suit, and that would be the mandatory attire. 4) There can be no danger. Those people skiing at 80 KM or the ski-jumpers, while great fun to watch, are not the kind of event we want. There's not enough crazies around here to have enough participants, and the township could never afford the insurance. 5) No subjective judging of "style points". We don't want any ice-dancing scandals, and besides, having no style might be an advantage in the kind of events I would anticipate be included. OK, so what kind of events could we have? Here's a few ideas, and I know there are more imaginative people than I who could come up with many T.W.S. ENTERTAINMENT Disc Jockey Services & Equipment Rentals Book now for your coming event! Also: Pool Tables - Air Hockey Video Games - Pinball -Jukeboxes Tony Scott (613) 476-7010 NOTICE Ian Balsillie, Council Member for more: A) Jumping up in the air from a standing position. Divide the height of the jump by the weight of the jumper to make it fair. B) Throwing peanuts in your mouth lying prone. The highest throw to be caught in the mouth would win, three throws, averaging the height of the peanut. Disqualification if one of the throws misses. For us that spend a lot of time on the couch, this would be an event we could practice at length. C) The most noise made by blowing on a leaf of grass held in the hands. We would need some kind of decibel meter for this, but that wouldn't be too hard to acquire. D) Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from scratch in the shortest time. There would be a lot of measurements involved here (total bread coverage, putting away the knife and so on), but I include it only because I think I could win. A TV advertisement doesn't even have a chance to get started and I'm done. I have not given this much thought (that may be obvious), but I figure we could put Milford on the map with these games. Then again, I don't think I want Milford on the map. - George Underhill Jee TT -- TTT" [ Paw Prints Pet Boarding Planning for the March Break? Call Paw Prints now for pricing and to reserve your appointment. 476-1218 | Quality Care for Your Pet... Peace of Mind for You/ I B= === South Marysburgh Ward will be attending at the former Township Hall Office on Friday, March 6th from 2:00 to 4:00 pm. If you have any questions or submissions to present, he will be pleased to meet with you at that time. Mr. Balsillie may be reached at 476-3813 Goaoares Bed & Breakfast eeeeasi o Eleanor & Don Hinde Box 111, Milford,Ont. KOK 2P0 Marysburgh House on the Millpond Charming waterfront rooms overlooking tranquil Milford Millpond. Ensuite baths San 9 Private Entrance @ Guest lounge with T.V. Central air 2 4 Excellent cycling & hiking 2 Your Hosts: Full country breakfast served in our Sunroom with breath- taking view of the Pond. (615) 476.7128 OPEN YEAR ROUND http://www.pec.on.can/other/bed.html