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10 The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville, February 22, 1978 Section Two The Undisciplined Generation Discipline (the teaching of standards) is needed by today's youth - but it must be rooted in love. By Elizabeth Manners (from the magazine Health- Winter 1972-73) My subject is a dirty word - though not spelled, I hasten to assure you, with the fashion- able four letters. It has ten letters: D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E - discipline. Now, I an well aware that by daring even to think about such an old-fashioned concept, I am branding myself as hopelessly square, utterly without it, and probably a repressed spinster to boot. Everyone seems to think that the revolt of the young against authority is the result of too rigid discipline in their forma- tive years. I believe this to be utter nonsense, for this is the generation that has not been disciplined, that has never met the challenge of adult authority and is therefore being driven to one extreme after another, almost as though they were daring adults to stand up to them. Is it not perhaps significant that when, some while ago, some students attempted a sit-in in Britain's House of Commons, their protest collapsed as soon as the police appeared, and that leaders of some other student antics very quickly got out from under when writs were served on them? They did not, they said, want to go to prison. How very unheroic are these leaders of the revolution, when it comes to the push. I don't think that their dead hero Che Guevara would have had much use for them, if the mere thought of a short spell in the nick puts them off. I am therefore going to state quite unashamedly that it is my opinion that we are now reaping the bitter harvest of the permissive society, and that it is high time that those of us who refuse to be brainwashed into the belief that all truth, honor, nobility - not to mention might, majesty, dominion and power - lie in the under-20's stood up and said so. I am sick and tired of listening to people of the older generation pouring out adulatory slush about the young, who, we are told, are far, far better than ever we were at their age. Why are so many of us afraid to say what we think, to admit that we find most of their music a horrible row, instead of hailing the Beatles as the greatest song writers since Schubert, to state firmly that their dancing often resembles the twitchings of an epileptic and calls for neither grace nor skill, that their clothers are too often cheap and nasty rubbish, their hair-styles, both male and female, frequently hideous, and that many of them could do with a good wash? When I watch my contemp- oraries licking the boots of the teenagers, it amazes me that so many of the latter are the decent and charming young people that they are. John Lennon and Mick Jager are held up for our admiration, not only because they have been convicted of possessing drugs but aiso because they got their girl friends pregnant. Middle- aged crities write lyrical praise of a play which exploits every possible aspect of sex and where every other word is an obscenity, because they apparently dare not admit that they really found the whole thing revolting and a bore into the bargain. Elderly dons come out - or should it be sit in? - in sympathy with striking students, much to the annoyance of the students, who wouldn't want to be found dead in the same sit-ins as their elders. Aging Members of Parliament write to The Times urging legalization of marijuana or the utter harm- lessness of LSD, not because they want to turn on but because they feel it incumbent upon them to urge the young to do so. I sometimes think that a rather nasty vicarious pleasure is at the root of a lot of this egging-on of the young to do the things which their elders never thought of doing. Most of us had a perfectly happy childhood and grew up quite unresentful of the disci- pline which our parents imposed on us. A misfit minority were unhappy, and it is they who are urging young people to jump into bed with one another, to rebel, to wear outrageous clothes, to take drugs, in short, to do all the things which these sad, middle-aged frustrated people imagine that they would have liked to do when they were young. And an equally misfit minority of the young takes this poisonous advice and, because they are noisy and exhibitionist, they are regard- ed as typical of their genera- tion and pressure is brought to bear on the law-abiding majority to follow them. Let me give you an example: A Sunday paper published a very useful page of advice to 18-year-old girls going to college or to a job for the first time. Mainly it was advice on budgeting, how much money to put aside for nylons, for cosmetics, for hair-dos etc. Quite casually, and as though it were the most normal and natural thing in the world, one other item figured among the teenage expenses, so much a year for the contraceptive pill. Am I being old-fashioned in think- ing that one should not take it as normal and natural that an 18-year-old, away from home for the first time, is auto- matically going to need the pill? I maintain that, as it has ever been, a minority will sleep around at the earliest opportunity, but the majority will not do so unless - and this is the crux of the matter unless they are made to think, by articles such as I have quoted, that they are in some way unnatural or else a sexual failure if they do not. To give you another example, I greatly enjoy the books of a certain best-selling novelist - and when I say best-selling, I am talking in terms of millions of copies all over the world. Al this writer's women readers complain that as soon as a new book comes into the house it is grabbed first by the husband and then by all the teenage children, among whom there is a terrifie following. Yet there is always some critic who, in reviewing these books sneers at the decency of the characters because they do not find it necessary to jump into bed on the third page. Only the other day, one such critie wonderingly, remarked that although the standards which this writer believes in are fast disappearing, millions of readers don't think that they are and continue to enjoy such books. Can it possibly be that the millions are right and the critic wrong? I said that I was going to discuss discipline, and you may be wondering what all this has to do with my subject. Simply this: Discipline is the teaching of standards - after all, it comes from the Latin verb '1o learn." It has nothing to do with corporal punish- ment, the writing of lines, detentions and all the petty punishments of certain schools, now, thank goodness, few and far between. It is useless to prate of self-disci- pline as if a baby were born knowing it. Self-discipline is the ultimate end of discipline, but it cannot be achieved without guidance. Any community has the right to ask its members to develop within the framework of discipline, which is the logical necessity of the community's existence. And, quite clearly, freedom to develop is quite different frorn freedom to do ,as you like. If one accepts the privileges and the protection of a community, be it a family, a school, a university or even a darts club, then one must accept the rules of that community. Here I may be sticking my neck out, but I am going to say quite categorically that I flatly deny the right of anyone who is still at the stage of taking from and not of giving to the community to dictate to those who are the creators of the community what the rules should be. If students at a particular university do not like its rules, then my answer is: No one asked you to come here; you are here on money which you have earned; there are thousands of young people who would give anything to be where you are now. So, if you don't like it, get out and get a job in a factory, or, if that is beneath your dignity, then starve, because the commun- ity which you despise and which you are doing your best to destroy is not prepared to feed and clothe and house you any longer. I have been in charge of teenage girls for 20 years, first as Deputy Head of a co-ed school and then as a headmis- tress. My basic attitude to discipline has not changed in those years because, though one varies the letter of the law, it is the same spirit which one interprets to different generations. When a girl questions an order, I always make it abundantly clear that in the first place, she obeys it because I say so, and if she wants the kind of education which my school gives, then she accepts my authority. Nevertheless, I then see that she fuilly understands the reason for the rule which she is questioning and I arn always prepared to discuss it with her and even to change the rule if she can convince me that she is right and I am wrong. If anyone is shocked by my insistence that I'm the boss, ail I can say is that it works. Young people today are apparently so self-assured but underneath there is great uncertainty and they are almost tragie in their vulner- ability, exposed as they are to the twin onslaughts of materialism and commercial exploitation. What they need is to be in touch with an imperturbable adult who is not easily pushed off balance or emotionally disturbed, against whom in the anxious years their storms can break and break again. They do not want to be left to make their own decisions before they have the mental and emotional maturity to do so. Every child should take responsibility as young as possible, but it must be measured to his capacity, enough to stretch him, but not too much, so as to become burdensome or oppressive. Even at the cost of family quarrels, he should never be lef t alone to make decisions which his parents believe will be harmful to him. Because once an adult adopts the policy of giving the child all he wants, where does it stop? One thing you may be sure of, his demands will becomne more and more outrageous for the very reason that he is daring you to say "no" to him. And don't expect logic or sweet reason from an adolescent. Your teenage daughter is quite likely to upbraid you bitterly for in- sitting that she be in at what you call a reasonable hour, but she is equally likely to burst into flood of tears and say you don't care what happens to her if you say that she can stay out ail night. Which brings me to the most important point about disci- pline: That it mnust be rooted and grounded in love. Children must know that you cane about them and that it is because you care that you are not going to allow them to run into danger. I could give you so many examples: The boy who once said that to live without rules would be like living in a quicksand; the weeping girl who, when her mother asked her what she wanted to do, wailed in despair, "I don't want you to ask me, I want you to tell me"; the senior girl from a school where, because of a change of head, discipline had become very slack, who said to me, "It's horrible. We feel as if nobody cares what we do." Of course, no child should be bullied or beaten or at the other extreme overpro- tected, but so long as he is dependent for food, shelter, clothing, education - in short, for everything - on his parents and teachers, then I firmly believe that he does as they tell him. Parents' responsibil- ity is to see that he knows why they tell him so, and if there is a mutual trust, love and respect he will accept -this situation. We do the young a grave disservice when we abdicate from judgment. For the children's sake let us realize that adolescence is a most unstable age, both physically and emotionaily, and that the bewilderment of the young is an appeal to us for values. The teenager is bombarded on all sides with pernicious propa- ganda which assures him that all his age-group like this and dislike that, wear certain clothes, and do their hair a certain way, and that if he is different, i~f he is not with it, then he is somehow abnormal. This slavish adherence to group opinion is a most serious threat to the develop- ment of personality, and parents and teachers must help children to resist these pressures. But how can we do it? Certainly not by giving in to the black-mailing cry of "Everybody else does it", or by repeating, "I only want him to be happy", with it dangerous corollary, "Give him everything he wants". Those parents who make a stand for what they believe to be right sometimes feel that they are fighting a losing battle. I do not believe that they are, but is it not better to light one candle than to sit and grumble at the darkness? Let our children be aware of our love and concern for them not by the lavishness of the gifts we shower upon them, nor by the freedom to please them- selves which we give them, but by the exercise of a kind but firm authority which will protect them from their own follies. Shakespeare was not far wrong when he said in Antony and Cleopatra: We, ignorant of ourselves, Beg often our own harms, which the wise powers Deny us for our good; so find we profit By losing of our prayers. And finally, let us not be afraid to stand up to the noisy rminority who would like us to believe that anyone over 30 is fit only for an old people's home. Let us say in no uncertain terms, "This is our world; imperfect though it certainly is, we sweated and worked to build it, if some of us had not starved in the '30's and if our friends and brothers had not died in the '40's, it would have been a hell of a lot worse world than it is." Let us tell the young: "For hundreds of years, the youth of Britain, when they reached your age, were slaughtered in their tens of thousands, and yours is the first generation to grow up to manhood and find a job waiting rather than a war. So give us some credit for keeping you alive at least. And we shall be very interested to see, when it is your turn to sweat and work and build, whether you do any better than we have done." Somehow we doubt it, but we wish you all the luck in the world. You'Il need it." Cooking by Metric Metrie Language ways I do not blame you for Do you speak metric? The feeling this way. However, as answer may be, "yes, I do", or a word of reassurance, let's 'yes, just a little", or "no establish a few simple guide- way, I can't be bothered." At lines. the time of writing this, you First of all, the way we cook may feel that last answer is will not change, but the your preferred one. In many appearance of the metric written recipe will be different than what we are currently accustomed to using. We'l still continue to measure by volume - only using litres, and millitres. And, yes, each and everyone of us will continue to use our favourite recipes and recipe books, and prepare them using our familiar measuring cups. As more and more metric recipes and information become available, we'l all become more familiar with the terminology. When you see a recipe in a newspaper or magazine which sounds interesting and the ingredi- ents are listed in metric measures rather than imperial, prepare yourself now to be able to serve it to your family. The only prepar- ation required is the purchase of new measuring equipment. Now, let's establish the metrie language: For Volume: litre (L), millilitre (mL), 1,000 mL equals 1L. For Mass (Refers only to meat, cheese and produce weighed at supermarket). kilogram (kg), gram (g), 1,000 g equals 1kg,. 1,000 mg equals 1g. You will not be purchasing in gram weight until a year or so from now when super- markets become equipped with metric scales. When you replace a pyrex liquid measuring cup today, they are metric on one side, imperial on the other. Now consider purchase of a set of dry metric measures for flour, sugar, cheese, etc. they are available in sets of three - 250 mL, 125 mL, 50 mL in each set. For measuring small quan- tities, the metrie set of 5 small measures are available in 25 mL, 15 mL, 5 mL, 2 mL, 1 mL. Now you're ready to prepare any recipe using metric measures. Conversion stickers are available for ovens to let you know that a 350 degree F oven in metric language is 180 degrees C. This chart will be helpful for oven conversion until you purchase a metric sticker: 100 degrees C - 200 degrees F, 140 degrees C - 275 degrees F, 150 degrees C - 300 degrees F, 160 degrees C - 325 degrees F, 180 degrees C - 350 degrees F, 190 degrees C - 375 degrees F, 200 degrees C - 400 degrees F, 220 degrees C - 425 degrees F, 230 degrees C - 450 degrees F. When baking in pyrex or oven proof glassware, reduce oven temperature by 10 degrees C. Now, armed with the above helpful aids to metric cooking, you are ready to try the following metric recipe. Garlie Bread Garlic loves butter and garlic-butter loves French bread. Dip sections of French bread in garlic spread-melted butter mixture, then sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Toasted under the broiler, m.m.m., melts in your mouth served with Goulash Soup. 1 loaf French Bread 1 jar (113 g.) Lawry's Garlic Spread 125 mL butter Grated Parmesan cheese Cut bread in half; then cut each half lengthwise. Score into 5 sections, but do not eut through bottom crust. Melt garlie spread and butter in shallow pan. Dip brea-d sections into mixture or brush liberally with pastry brush: Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Toast under the broiler, Perform a death-defying act. Have regular medical check-ups. Give Heart Fund Income Tax Service Personal Returns Fast, Reasonable Service George Weekes 5 Lorraine Court Bowmanville, Ont. 623-7345 Ask the insurance professional LARRY SHANK. 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