The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

-. - t Suýpposîng yau had htUi IJuk-e)aýi Edinbur.gh bad bee-n împr,.isoned m» the Tow,ýer and .--,waasomon te lue tied for high reasn. .- . ouldyou ýbeliev it? Suipposing yau rwe-cre tald that Cic Qucen neyer accepted lias- pit;ality trm bher Commnnonwealth hosts utlofficiais hadfitli- vestîgated their kitchenis? ,Suppasing y(.u,).heard f r o r, sonreone "i the know trhat fic Quen Miýlot ber ,-was thinkinig aI myarrying again -- or that Prin- cess -Margaret wvas planing ta enter a canvent., Would yau believe it? There are ru-mours af royalty an their cruadcst anid most idcu buos. Yet Uiey ar-e just a samrple c)fflhc lies and cxaggcraions abottaur beloveci Royal Famiiy Thfrace fram i» p tfahp or appeaýr li)cold prinitsa wce in tibe wrlevery day "Rumaur is one ot ,thehus acs my lamlily ' Ca't secru ,ta gel, rid af," the Duke af Winý,dsor eonce said. "E-ven may great graudmnother u s e d ï ta o m - plain, ,.,. Wbenl Qucen Victi.oriawas o U1ic tbrone shee aas regardcd as analDOcansd almosf sacreit figuyre and if waould have been canisldcred bcncafb ber dignity '9nd canstftu tionally i m p r cip c r for fber ta bave commnentcd ou snytbing said about ber in. the 'eAsars A papular ariter ien-t taex- tremes, bowever, whcn lie hlnt- ed--af fleicnie aIflice Cim-eani War-fliat flic Queen's busband, î-f 4heGra-o»Prince Coi- sort, migbt be playl<ng Russia's, gam)e.ý PýubJic %wrstb xpocd u-- our spread so wvildly, thgt Puy- Ilanent ai-y spokesmen o pecn Iy accused fhec Prince af treason. 41,1 Leniden buzzed. . , andJ soani huwge and angry cro-wds gatlecd et flic Yojwcr of Lande» ta, demônoxstrafe sgainsf ic Pei.-rinice Consort, un te be impression that liewats alrea@ nerlc sud key. The Quecn threatcned ta aabdi- este unless sucli starfling, nevis- papet aftacka acere broughf te, nn& Rdý-er sathe Prince ra! Wsflcs, aias booted at flic racesý oiy a few years laier as Uic resit cf thc terrible rumeur ýbthaf h ad drive»i a marriéd we1man mnad witli bis attentions. I t h e2 s»izing Mor1u n divore- cýýase, flic future Fdward 'VIT evexi aent ie ôthe aiuiiess box ansI publicly gave tUicelic te these ai aries. Ris horreur was vindiçvctd, but if aias ail in vrain. 'Jhe ollistill baaied, for if diçin'f believe :hum., Kinig George V wassbaunîied ail bis h-f e by flic Bride af Mata stery-fliat as a yaung nia» lie &ad secretly msarried a younig lady in Malta, sand that blis alli.- ance ait h Qucen Mary was, therefore, bigameu.s. xI flicend s libel action ,wss broth ltanid evcr)"y rame, date sund incident in flic M;lfa alcega- tienIs waS PrOVed false. Yet same. People sf111 slirugged and mut- tcred, "Wbere there's s~e there's lire. . , Turielity, flic sole grain aI, truf b behind ail this commotion ens flicaiarm sf1fectiir e coni- ecived during bis naýval ycars fori bis clildhood frieuid, lovelyJui Stenar. Eývenriually Julie matried flic Marquis d'R.aufpolsnd rtcmairied onPe Of t lI ost trust cd triends Mf flicRoyal Fsmrily. Ta-daýy flicrumours dît, iharass th-e Qucen andù the Dk of Edinburgh, are happily cf aý very different natIur7e.Tbhe y sprinig frami,» warm iand ly]in- teret-yt tere is a danger aIf afcindegencr-ating inta ry- ing cagcrniess ta knaw 'ver dletaiil ofS royalty's private tif e How wvould you like ta open, t-he paper at bekatacinairxi- iing and read that yeti hadwat cd a lot af public maney tas friga replica naval c--a bi.n fram CaeueHause ta Buck- ingcham oPalace,' Rt is smajl wa'Vnde(r if phuis storly ainnoyed the Duke of Edlnuri-gb-. Hf-e had donc nathing af the kind aýnd inideait haïr no rooru remate- ly resembing a rava] cabî,, To Enter CoxiveRt? Theecti7was 'annayed bya nIewýSpaper' story tatP r m n c e Charle s waS bcng ruh pa Princess Mrgretaoa, çan rarely open ïa ncwýspaper jwith- autivadrn htfresh fairy tales wil!L le j'inked witb lier namne,emnbraidercd w i t h the u'sual set a îrustnua n The fuzorc 0.f irurnur that in3volvéd dthe departure of that efcetroyal eq.ucrry, Group- Captain '"Pcfci- Tawný,send, toaa POst as air attache in Bruýs s es la a cuase in point, Sut scarcely less infuriating to thie palace officiais wýho have ta cape with incaming mnail wais the fantastic re:port t h aï t Princess Mrae waa sprcparing. ta enter cn vent., If bppelcndtbaf li a Spirit cf humble dedicatian, she bad at- fcndcd a course af hall-haout lec- tures giveni by tie Bishaop of Kensington, li next ta no tue te psf officeat Buckingham Palace waRs deluigcd with pr-ayer books' Then) there was the tatally un- iïtucrepart Ithat flhc Queenwa conisidcrlîng slixgB a ït) ra i Castie, a story that srcdconi- sternatioxi ran111 lg flhc shop- k'eeperýs, gillies and ather folk an Deeside aia ok jýtaBalimaral, fer theirlicind A local est ste agentfun himsejf lmrçtcd NwiUi hûuensýg l coulldn'f si; a iqçaf shopkecper wIas fold the value et, bis busi- ,ness hlablved averniglif-sucli wvre the f irsi fruits aI tiis par- ficuhar Balmnoral reekef. Utinratply flic MarÉqueqss01of Abercleela bad ta ask flic Quen1 oný flic public pîsiform i a Bl 1sf er station aihether she caud deny flhe reports. "lMost-cfan ly," she tcplled. Tihe Qucen MJot icr's$ cMn visifta UicheStates, fao, liad tfa bce prcamsfumrey disclased becau)se rumeur gof flic tacts wtong- In- vi-tations frai» al a-vêt Aeric aice e uring lut a theBris Emàbassy ii Washîngton Ira n cages- hostesses aih'o aire under flic impression thaf flic Qucen an-d flic Duke ot Ein»burgliacre planning a U.S.A, four 0f 6,000 The ereaihipexrevived a string ai ridiculous reprts-last beard during tie Qucen Mqoflicr's pre-war visif 'te Washington and persoïially dcxi led by mrs Roosevelf. Tbere's flic absurd sfory thaf Uic White House was of"ficiahly requested totasec fluai bat asater was avallable for flic liof-aiafer baffles eftheb Ladies-î 1ini-Waifîng. Equaliy silly k flic repar t that flic Duke af Edinburgh's bcdi must have ifs quilît furned doa aýt ancco)rner, aihile the Quenr'sI bur- J ieri.- :wO- j +1-tl Tougb Mani TG Pm Baw/ers vwha k ai'l wish the leacders- of themr - cit the C. races l Tornto distresa, broadicast ovr lud- s;peaker, moýay lie used ta scare flic flocks nai many thousaids. ai staring whch- have becomie a nuisancîe liLara'sTafl Sq a aea. Sïimuhar rcrshaýve proved off -Cefhlein hain ordes cf starlins aiayfrai» aiDrcraft bang- as lu Ami-erica, S-cienflýcalhy-planxjied s car ve - croas are- naf slways asL success. croa in, the shape aIf a robot mani abose nmecchanical miavemients in aui orchardj caused frequent ex- plosions af acetylene gas. Tlie exKplosionls a',i tir's f fright en edc birds -away tramr the peaches and a pples-, but tbley soon gof used ta flic ngiscs. A Ceyoncse fanmer guards bis vegetablcs frari» birds by dlsplay- lng tfa scîiut bumnan skulls on pales.lie declares thcy are 100 pet cen.ýt elpective. And a Ger- manfruit farm-er preserved bis crep ai cherries by fixing a l-oud- speaker on flic higliecst trce in bis orcliard, Creais acre scarcd by flic jazzporme, pntac aitilicvrýo eeks'soflos. Ou, a SfelJ stafe- an ingei- eus, leader. ilgure ai a man siming e rifle scared oiff birds for 2(ýQ years, if aiciglic-d ncarly a tati. andI was namcd "Squîrc Fleiig" affer ea ormer oauer 0- f fliclanit. "Whaf .Ldiflie est Say whcni Ilooking ai the tennisgaeV asked fliclocalpunsfer. No e- Plies forfhicemiYng, l isswercd biseu qeto:"Irle caf said,<M moliri luta racket." myust le unet e anaibath No Lauhiug atter The R Poyal Famihy long since grea tircd oet flese absurdities. Bcbintd flic sýcen.es fliere have becu, discussions an bow besi fbey nes týt li canfcredi.'Thre ncw policy lias been scen in officiai deujials and ve quiet profesis i ssucd iy BeiglaiPalace in flic case of sever-ýal unfrue stories - thaf have sn)ýgerpd the Qucen. Humol(ur is no laugbing mnalter. F'lasbcd israund flic aarld, wild- Iy diStarted li--y translation in anlc cnryafer aofTirer, if est endaniger Bnlîiish bigb tndn flirouigboutic ai orld. Tire Royal Fa-muhy ;iS ac aI oui- gýreaf est assets, sud tbose Close ta flic Royal ouleto-day Pare cdter- mmcd wfa guard , bthei from fhls nui!sanceý. Sfop-csnd-go Practice - Childrexi in flue Frencli sector of Belin, Gcrmany, airelarlnîraffit reultinsand spfety re t antony age, Police consîruîed 0, traffie 5attern s-o tht chLdren cc>n drive tiroir tiny cars and practise sofa dri vinghabits. The pattern Iýncudes anoreissd stets roff ic llghts anod street evsia eugtrsl uth(catie pocce-niorsdir-ct traffk, A merchant in Dailas, Tex as, aisked police te belp hlmdcpe the signat ure oni a weorthlcss - checkî.. The police diii. If wvas, "u. R. SfusIk." Thie resaurctulîInega ofth police is cqualcd onfly by the! miaeap beb-avior Cai eut -ctizený-s. Rccently a man in -Newi York, trying ta pick the pochet et a fat mani asleep in a, subway sta- tion1, gof bis band cauýghl itti- ly aiben flicspecpcr sbiffed. lie wvas tinally extr-icafed by ti caps. When, police in Austin, Texas, aïskcd a wvom-an, wbosc bouse hadc been rabbcd, if she knrewi wohad done the job, rbey got a iýstraj»iht answer. "1Sure, but I v %tn Ou ta tind ouf." IL Pasadena, Calitor-nia, patroit- mani D. B. leason fkgged doxvnr a maotoriat wjho was aieaving ern-i ratically back and forth alcross fle icbibaay, but let hilm go wb7Ilen flhe motorlst explâined: "Evcrytblng's O.K. Jusf hvn. Anita Callaban telî-s about the armny bride lookýing aver the1 wcddîng presents tram bier huis- band's buddies. "'Its nice ta recc.ive siuch Per-1 s'nlgifts as these teaiels witb Ris and Mlers embroidered on tl3ern. But herc is sainethiig se intîmate and sen-timrental".- she poinlted ta an ol -ive dtrab blainket witb the lettci-s US stenciled in thecetr Paul Fe-inni,,an, a salesmian, bauight t-wa burgiar alarma f orý bis home. Belote be liad fime1 tc) instaR tbem, fbey wcré stolen Item bis parkcd automobile. lI Pittsburghi, waienpolice nabbcd Clara Rabig, tbey lounid that ber knitting bag, crammecl,(J with jeaiclry, also contalnied a neatly typcwriffexi C.ristmag;- The licîptul friand iotferýedad viceI te fliafgitiv,1 "An alibi would belp yau. Anycne se you af flic bou-hi felîi aitis SIbot?" The fugitive shoot bý isled "Fertunatcly,ne" Sait And Trhirst There is aý certain amaunlt 9of Salit Îlxi ah our food, and one cf the praperties cof sait is tfa draw iwater frani the tissues twai fli- kîdneys Vverc the vxaste lîquids arcfliltered, Nornnally the amaount aI wafer drawn is not great encugh ta be notice- able, but il the food wc caf is vcry salty, the amnount of water- drawn out f cf flictissues by fthe Salt ai lie alinarma]sud ftic tissues wil] tbcn lie gcking in waaer. NÔw wleieecr- a certain pa-rt af flic body is ini distrcss, if can conivey its need tfalus, as )aiben the gnaaiing sensation ixi our -stomnacbis watts us that aie are bungry. lI a similar way fic tissules, aibenever the§ ýia,,ckh - ater, can signal their needfa the tangue and the fbiroat aihicli thenriselves begin tofa ldparched nddy The tangue, theIcling of ftic moufli and flroat are ail tissues fao, af, course, tissues in, wThichl we became aware cf t-he- lack 0af'water mast keenly. Frai» thlis wve know nof anlly that aour mialis are dry but thaf oùi ab-oie lbadies are in rnecd Cof Water. Nacthing cist scemis t0 quencb thirs sa ichiaswae WRONG rNIJMBER A young and very dian girl aiba ma American as toldi band that hbis bonm phsgued wuth "aiohxý 'Tjicy tiknothi:, cd 'of gîgup fc fscy- she niay lic iug Jio as slop wir 1glving ber a sly pil« dear, do't state ïlu doas airhe» you're ýa. A feai days lafer, aill- e cîiflic Tï gonshop 'in flic 10v) lug te press bhomc wsrninog lic -ip-toed abeatty pIncir. Wlien fi girl spv cysbazîngau asn' is vaife. ment, Get cmpe. càteodç lso y5ý r Aý>urueït-Seýptectxber rolrs trr aIy 1'lr breedpý cf clksadturk*ey oltï o f rom at gnrto tck. Tues nou-sexd, tanso-r toms Boa Beat Brnz ae tstforraCe. tre FERGUS, ONTARIO Hamnpsblree mat ype troilers 7wlll te lu ~ ~ th shrSuprii Oummer anid Peu, Plceinur oder voj1 i l dvnes au wMilnt te dlappintd irtn ryu mant Ite. chlsNew Hamperom !let geucatin sockarethetestau d moat prcite4e blcs e have !0 offer for, brier nt iior ponces 3are competitive. Gýet Our-epecial îonce for lreordera TWIEDDLE i01921CR HATHERIE rERGUS, ONTARIO - exR le d; a7rex-Jy rod rps undou poulrVA.rrA criEs WiRocks, lm- mqediate dEeliverr Rien onkinr for Sep5eube ll (j deiverr. :Cneck f'o r Speia onesfor SeptOct."?, Bur tefore epesgo to Éopeak oces and oullet pniceýs accord1ingîr. TUEW ,ýLREVIETI ýPOULTETYFRER FOR SALE Spreald bar av enly lu mme y atch Bon,1ýDs- armaleilu eh sAzes for aur yp Forage PBlomer. St. lemute OuarO. U- rIeor PosLinwd36RI IImIRGOTîý'T 11RE ýSHIN1G MAý2ýCHI NES, New euS uLseti HerrgntlTbrsee 'l vidth traxv Sbr'j edrl ntll, u maire of trse.Cuts ana streSs tii. etrew fluDet thenauny other rshreder, usin , un xtre pomer, The easieets reii rt Uasïget Hppr Grati Tbromers. Grain Trmesfor ipesta11aton oAu any m]ake of tht-ester. RoedLýkig 2aos DrivE eRis, ail sîz2F. epis o Goodienu treshiers and BitFeeders. Order not tote býsure oF deliverr whsný WriJte 'r Phxone Zinwooti-244 CUMMINS DIESEL Far Hsait 1160 H.. desel enge ii pfet cnditin, elsq opet oe iet,,Ont. Chleap Hair-Cuts - Hirdessrsail ove)" Françce are a their guarçi againet the trickery of a srnartly des nian whe bas leiarned hwte get bis bair euit :for nething. Hec walked inite a Paris hair- dresser's-,somie tine age ecceni- panlied by a small bey. The mnan explaincd that he had a brief appoint n the ineighbour- h(oad se bee woul1d like bis t0w»- hair ceut lirst, Whcn thîs was donc. the mxir hclpcd the boy up inte tîhe chair and after urging bhirn te have patience and "be a- gocd boy -while l'm away," hastened tramn the saloon, saying be vwouldn-'t lie long,. Wben the boy's h-,air hait beexi, eut and the inan-f had stiil neot returned, the hairdresser-afa- J 'y maxi-saidtotathe lad l» kindly tones: «Nojw, don't worry, sonny', your father is bvound te lbe back vcry shiortly," The lad laoked surprised. "He's, flot rmy father"bhe said, "lie just came up ta me iri tfle street hall an hour aga and said: Con alang with mc, lef's batlh get a $1,25 U DXPRE$S R * EMINEX Posrs ECZEMA SALVE restes aud wsigsietobe.Pot'g Eýc7ema avemiint îapon:ru, Itctlng sealr,(adbuýruins am acue rlgwom, îmoe ad foot czemrý wm i emud eeflr btehe sainlees. odo- RICE 82.50 FER .JAR POST'S REMEDIES ueeSt. -1.,ConeretLoýgan- TORONTO BE A HAIRORESSER LOIN eCAÏNA.DA'S L'EAMDIN ScoHfOOL Gýreat Oppiortunlîr Learu tllstste3 etingeFe Writeiib r onur" ,üIeu 44 ing t, Hamullon fo Sptep.her iese oursepiaie výer veek Fmhile t irilg. Trr EDOi t M 1 1