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8-ORONO WEEKLY TIMES, WEDNESDAY, MAY Ilth, 1977 M nothe^r's day service Oronounited church TEN COMMIANDMENTS FOR PARENTS Quoted in Orono United Church for Christian Family Sunday, May 8, 1977 1. THOU SHALT START WITH TRAINING THYSELF A young boy at school had called a girl a bad name. When corrected he seemed puzzled and said, "But my mother says it ahl the timne." The parent who attempts to train children to have good manners but bas none himself is fighting a losing battle. Children don't learn merely by being told; they learn by being shown. Example makes the long- est, deepest impressions. Children are able to detect shame and insincerity. Don't expect your child to bc any better than you are. 2. THOU SHALT BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAN RULES Law is not the last word about life. Jesus believed that laws should be based on wha t is good for man. If a law does not help man grow into the fullness of God's intention for him, it is bad and should be changed. So with the family. Ail rules should be submitted to this test: Do they help the child grow in his relationships to God and the neighbor? Par- ents need to be more concern- ed with building healthy r7elationships between themn- selves and their ebjîdren. If the child knows he is Ioved andý respected as a person, he is lýess likely to rebel against etîhica1l standards. The child who is unsure of being loved miost often breaks the rules because he is alienated and angry. 3. THOU SHALT IMPART THE FAITH- How many parents, have forgotten this. command- ment! Parents have the basic responsibility for religiouis education. No one else. Some- one said, "An ounce of mother is worth a pounid of cleiégy." The church can only assist parents, not replace themn. No amnount of Bible study in the church school can substitute for Bible study at home. The same is truc of prayer and worship. If the Christian faith is not real at home, it is not real anywhere. 4. THOU SHALT LEARN TO LISTEN Listening is an art. We always find it easier to talk. Listening to another person means acknowledging his worth as a person, respecting him and trying to understand bis viewpoint. We knowy another person only as we listen to him. A comnmon complaint of young people is, "My parents neyer listen to me." Through the dynamnic of listening love, the generation gap between parents and chîldren can be bridged. 5. THOU SHALT'-SPEND TIME WITH THY CHILD- REN one minister's wife. drop- ped a visitor's card in the offering plate requesting a visit from the minister. In our go-go culture, it is increasing- ly difficult to stop and enjoy life as a family. But we must mnake the effort. Children need their parents to play with them, to read to them and to take them on trips and hikes. Vears pass quickly, and opportunities to be a family together soon pass into yesterday. Seize the moment to spend time with each other. 6. THOU SHALT ACJ<- KNOWLEDGE THY SINS AS PARENTS We can neyer do ail that is needed for either ourselves or our chnidren. The famnily is dependent on God's grace for itS life. Parents who refuse to admnit their sins always end by blaming both their child- ren for tLheir inadequacies. Reuel L. Howe tells of a parents' study group Which had come to terms with the truth that their children needed more love than they were able to give. They faced their itiadequacies, and mir- acle of miracles, family lîfe improved. 7. THOU SHALT KEEP A SENSE 0F 1-UMOR One family'was watching' Carol Burnett on television. She was doing. a funny skit, and the mother and father started laughing. The three- year-old son, who did not understand the skit's humor, thought their laughing was funny. So he started laughing.~ Soon the parents were laugh- ing at his laughing at themn. We take ourselves too serlous- ly. We need to learn to laugh at our mistakes and 'inad- equacies. Laughter releases pent-up despair and relieves hostility. 8. THOU SHALT TREAT THY CHILDREN EQUALLY A child is a unique gif t from God. There is no other child like your firstborn, or second, or third. Each has his own individual personality: extro- vert, introvert, brilliant, or dull. One child should not be compared to another. He should be loved for WHO he is, not for what you want hlm to. become. A good parent loves in s pite of imperfection. Over each child we should pray, "Thank you, creator God, for this, your special gif t."1 9. THOU SHALT USE DIS- CIPLINE An astutte observer of the North American family said that we are a child-centered culture. Instead of parents disciplining their children, children discipline their par- ents! Discipline may include punishment, but we should not think of it as primarily negative. Discipline is provid- ing a structure for growing up which includes protection and guidance. t is yes-sayin (approval of constructive be- haviour) as well as no-saying (disapproval of destructive behaviour). Discipline is closely related to love and acceptance. Parents who do not provide a disciplined structure do not really love their children; rather they are engaged in a neurotic bld for popularity. 10 THOU SHALT KNOW WHEN TO LET GO This is the last command- ment but flot in importance. Parents naturally want to feel needed as long as possible. This desire tempts them to. overprotect their children. Being tied to the parents' apron strings is like having a noose around your neck. Good parents accept their changing role, wanting their children to be freed fromn emotional dependency on them. Nothing is more pathetic than an aduit who acts like a- child simply beeause his parents did not have the grace to let go. (The above is quoted from the writing of Michael Daves) Happy is the family Whose miembers know what a homne is for. Clarke Public LI BRARY PHONE 983-5507 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 2-:30 to 8:30 Pa.I. Saturday 10:00 to 12:00 a.m.- Oronoý Ontario NEU-TONE WHITE INTERIOR LATEX Manufactured for $O6 Dominion Hardware$ 6 ta the hghest GAL. specif idat ions $ 6r 3$ ., MASKING TAPE 3/4 in,.x60 yds. 99PRLL 1 1/2?n x 60yds. $-187 JLROLL Ourono RolpRdmhý NATURAL CORK WALL PANELS, Decorative sourrdprootirig and l"sutation, Each 12 xi 1 2' 1"panel cones it h self adiresîve mounting poids. 4 panes per package $99 1PKG. ENTRY [00K SET For exterlor doors inIonmes, cottages offices T.sO sets of keys and isiaailon intructians EA PAl VACY [00K SET For baifrroorn ana bedrcorrc toors. Push baittoir lack '4.98EA PASSAGE-WAY SET For niera rdOOrsNo ocIr "449EA. 983-5207 THE REGIONALMUNICIPALITY 0F DURHAM NOTICE FINAL DATE FOR 1976 SEWER SURCHARGE APPEALS This is to advise that the final date for receipt by the Region of sewer surcharge appeals for sewer b ill1iîngs coveri ng 1976 is May 13, 1977 Where a customer is unable to submit a com- plete report by this date, the sewer appeal should be reg istered by May 13, 1977 with a note that additional information is to fol 10w. MM".. *SUMMUM lý- 0 M