The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Kendal Loyal Orange Lodge Makes Donation Dean Polley presents Ray Bester, Presideni-t of thie Orono Athletic Association with a cheque for $350.00 on bebaif of the Kendal Loyal Orange Lodge. Other recent dona- tions include.the C.A.W.z ($250.00, "M. ndMsCayo Read, and Mr. and Mrs. Earl Taylor (Earl was arena manager for 18 years). Tbe total money raised to date is $53,784.50. For those hold-outs out there who are waiting to the end te see wbo is going to be the ,Iuicky fvour to get their names on tbe ice resurfacer your cutoif date is March 18. March 18 is alIso tbe lastday for briniginig in your I.G.A. receipts. Arthur Black Reader's Digest 'says acupuncture is the medical wave of the future. You know acupuncture - that ancient oriental art of turning patients into poor approximations of porcupines by festooning tbemn witb nee- dles. Aposties of acupuncture dlaim judicious puncturings ef tbe carcass can cure every -affliction from arthritis te ingrewn teenails. Tbey may be rigbt. Al 1 knew is tbat l'Il neyer know. I'm scared of needles. Net mertaîly terrified. I've been diîled fer polie, malaria, yellew fever and a bost ef ether arcane maladies. I bave even had my blood cbecked. Tbis involves a medico screw- ing a stainless steel straw inte a vein and boovering eut eneugb red stuff te sate a starving vampire. I didn't swoen or tbrow up or soul my underdrawers. But I neyer liked it mucb. I blame my needlepbobia on public scbool, wbere, once a vear tbe tinny publie address system rattled te lite in cacb classreom te inform the wretches witbrn that next W,,'dnesday or a week frern iesday we weuîd ail be "get- ting our shots". This rnvolved beîig herded inte long deso- late lines, left sleeve rolled up past the biceps and shuffling forward like s0 many veal calves on their way, to tbe abattoir. Eventually - too soon - youwould reach a desk wbere a stony-faced nurse checked off your name, took a desultory swipe at your expesed upper arm with an alcobol soaked cotton swab and jerked ber head toward the executioner (sorry, dec- ter). Said doctor (did tbey real- ly leer, or is tbat my imagina- tion?) grabbed yeur wrist te preclude the pessibility ef a meving target and witb bis otber band plunged bis gleaming spike into tbat tee tender flesb semewbere between tbe sboulder and tbe elbew, at the same time drawling "Next". 1 probably would bave feit better about getting my sbots if it bad been permissible te scream, wail, bang on te tbe curtains or tbrew myself on my knees greveling and greaning for mercy. 1 cruldn't. 1 was a boy. Gritting your teetb was ekay, if you didn't doe it obviously. Apart from that you were expected te bebave like Jobn Wayne on the sands et Iwo Jimna. Mhat vas the best thirtg 1 knew about graduating lrom public scbool: no more needies. Not on a regular basis, anyway. And always providing 1 avoided getting bitten by a rabid dog, in wbicb case I could look for- ward to seven weeks wortb ot needles in the belly. Needles tbat 1 am told are as painful as you migbt expect needles in tbe belly to be. Tbat's wby 1 neyer pat a stray dog unless 'm wearing a pair of bockey gloves. I wasn't worried about mucb life could tbrow at me, as long as there wasn't a bypodermic at tbe end of it. Flying in-a bush plane, get- ting mugged, driving in Montreal - even filling eut my income tax formn - 1 could b7andle anytbing, as long as it didn't involve inoculation. And I was correct - rigbt up until 1 made tbe insane decision to accompany my wife, into tbe delivery room te witness tbe birtb of my daughter. Neyer mind tbe psycbolog- ical battering a delivery room dad must endure. Tbat's a wbhole otber borror story. 1 just wý,ant te talk about tbe episietomy ivneedie. Have you ever seen an epi- sietomy needle? You may bave. Yeu probabîy wouldn't recegnize it as a needie unless semebedy told yeu. It looks like sometbing a Watusi war- rier migbt use te bring down a cbarging water buffale. If matadors uised an episietemy nieedîe, bullfigbts would be over in nanoseconois. Hamlet would bave won bis sword- figbt if be could bave wrapped bis fist around an episiotomy needie. Episiotomny needles are, in short, not sbort. Tbey're buge. And they are adminis- tered to an area of the body tbat makes a man cross bis legs and moan piteously just to tbink about. And tbat's wby I neyer wbine about man's miserable place in tbis world. Sure, we go bald and women don't. And we die earlier, and make fools of ourselves more often tb-an women de. But ail that amounts te ne more than a pinprick. The Big Guyv upstairs dealt ail us little guys a buge ace in tbe bole. Guys neyer bave te werry about being at tbe receiving end of an episietomy needle. Because guys - praise be - can't get pregnant. Is somneone you know reaching a milestone?. Wish themn happiness and congratulations in The Orono Weekly Times Your home is probably the Most expensive asset you will ever seli. Naturally, you would want te do it right, which usually means selling it within your trne frame - and for the best possible price. Msu Selling your home is veiy complex and most of the time an mtional process that requires in deptii knowledge and experience. t also requires a clear understaading of the legal issues and potential pitftalls involved in this process. A single misstep can resuilt in a tremnendous amiount of frustration, or even cosI you thousands of dollars needlessly-. That is why as soon as you think about, selling your property you should consider building a team of professionals te hielp you market Sand sell your 'h ouse worry free. A licensed Real SLY Estate Professional and a lawyer would be the core members of such a Iandoust team.1 A Licensed Realtor would have the, necessary training and knowledge te help you along the way, from the moment you think about selling te the time that the proceeds are deposited te your bank account. Masoud atandoust is a Reailor at Suitton Group- Dynamic Reahy Inc. in Boitmanville. If readers have any questions on these topies,îMasoid con be reached on: Phone: (905) 697-1700 Fax: (905) 987-3686 PUBLIC NOTICE TO THE CITIZENS A Task Force on the future of the Greater Toronto Area wvas formed n April, 1995, teo deal wîith the property tax crisis and toe provide direction for the future governance of the GTA. The Golden Task Force was released on January l6th, 1996 and contained 51 recommendations with respect to these and other issues. The Council of the Municipality of Clarington passed a resolution which contained lits stated position on the recommendations of the Golden Task Force and part of that resolution reads as folows: "COUNCIL WILL NOT SUPPORT ANY CHANGES TO CLARINGTON' MUNICIPAL BOUNDARIES AS THE CURRENT MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON IS A VIABLE, ECONOMIC UNION 0F COMMUNITIES THAT WOULD BE ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY ITS DISSOLUTION BOTH ECONOMICALLY, SOCIALLY AND HISTORICAL" n order to determine the views of its electorate, the Council has directed tha a survey be taken. The question which will be asked of Clarington residents is: "Do you support Clarington or part of Claripgton being a part of the GTA under the Greater Toronto Council as recommended by the Golden Task Force Report?" On March 28, 1996 poils are Ing held at the foîlowing locations: WARD I - Solina Community Hall, 1964 Concession RIl 6, Hampton - Dr. Emily Stowe Public Schooî, 71 Sandringham Drive, Courtice WARD Il - Municipal Administrative Centre, 40 Temperance Street, Bowmanville WARD 111 - Newcastle Community Hall, 20 King Street West, Newcastle - Clarington Public Ilay Clarke Branch, 127 Church Street, Orono Anyone who is an eligible voter in the Municipality of Claringten and who has not previeusly completed a survey, may do so by attending at any one et the above locations and presenting identification to prove their eligibility. CMNICIPLIY OF ONTARIO Patti L. Barrie, A.M.C.T Clerk Municipality et Clarngten 40 Temperance Street Bowmariville, Ontario Li C 3A6 Dates ot Publication: Wednesday, March 13, 20, and 27 1996 P.O 5786 Team work selfs your house 1worry free. ---------- 1996