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r ~bfIIF jIUtJ Orono Weeklytlifrs. Wednesday. i~ebruàry 19, 1997 Get yourfactsfirst then you can di.tort them as much as you Uike. 'Mark lÙxiin No motter how thin you slUce t ttc stifI balortey. Atfr-ed &nith If's a littie early in the cal- endar year, but lin ready to nominate 1997 as the Year of Disillusion. I can't belleve the number of verifiable certain- ties that Nve seen shot down in the past few weeks. Flrst It was Saint Patrick. Everybody knows that St. Pat was an anclent Irishman famous because he single- handedly drove mhe snakes out of Ireland, rlght? Wrong. He wasn't even Irish. Patrick was an Englishman who spent a few years as a slave in Ireland, returned to England and became a priest, then set about convertlng the Irsh to Christlanity. The snake story Is 100 percent Irish blarney. It's a pure myth mhat didn't even appear until Patrick had been dead for 300 years. Then there's Sherlock Arthur Black Holmes. What's the most famous phrase the great detective evexy uttered? Elementary, my dear Watson. Everybody knows that. Except Sherlock neyer said it. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote nearly sLxty short sto- ries and four full-length nov- els stanring the cerebral mys- tery solver. You can read them 'til your eyeballs fail out and you'll neyer corne across the phrase "Elemnentary, my dear Watson". Holmes say "Elementary" a lot, and he addresses his slow-witted partner as "mv dear Watson" a good deal -- but he neyer once, combines the two of themn. It's enough to make you loseyour faith in.... in Betty Crocker. Which you might as well do. Most of us grew up with the friendly, matronly mug of Betty staring back at us from the back covers of our own mothers' cookbooks. For a couple of decades in the mid- dle of the century, Ol' Bet had to be one of the most familiar faces in North America. Except there neyer was a Betty Crocker. She was an Invention. The figment of some ad agencýj flack's Imag- ination. Lab téchniicians at General Milis càme up with a whole bunch of recipes using GM products that they want- ed to flog to the- public. The company needÈýd a name to put on the coo1ýbook covers. The ad flack picked 'Betty' because it was a nice, inof- fensive namne - land 'Crocker' because, well, the director of General Mils was one William G. Crocker, heh, heh Oh yeah, you don't wanna examine those Accepted Truths too closcly. Remember The Christmas Song? Chestnuts roo.sting on an open ire... Jack Frost nipping at your nase... Sounds like it must have been wrltten in Montreal or Winnipeg in deepest February, right? Or during a winter in Upstate New York at least... Actually,. Mel Torme and his lyricist tossed that off in less than an hour during a California heat wave while consumfing cold drinks and puttingice on their foreheads. Remember the Beach Boys -- the group that made surf- ing a world wide mania? They neyer surfed. Their leader, Brian Wilson was afraid of the ocean. The only Beach Boy who ever rode a suriboard was the drummer. Brian's brother Dennis. He drowned in 1983. - Christopher Columbus? He not only didn't discover Memorial Cairn to be erected At the January 14, 1997 Regular Board Meeting, the matter of a brick cairn at the site of the -old Newcastle Public School was discussed, and a motion was adopted mhat the demolition contractor for the old Newcastle Public School be directed to reserve a maximum of 400 bricks from the building, at no direct cost to the Board. These bricks will be reserved for use by the Newcastle Village com- munity to erect a memorial cairn at a location that will not interfère with play areas, with the project to be initiat- ed and funded by the com- munity. The Board will American (the Vikings beat hlm by about five centuries) - - Columbus didn't even see America. The closest Chris got was a small island in the Carlbbean. Oh me, oh my .. .. do a little digging and you discover mhat French Files aren't French and Englishý muffins aren't English and Polish sausage comes from Hungary. The Great Danes do not hall from Denmark and that French poodles originated In Germany. while German Shepherds are native to Alsace. Sure is disillusionlng. Next thing you know some- body will try to tell us there's no Santa Claus. arrange to store the salvaged bricks for this proj ect until April 30, 1997. PUBLIC NOTICE WEIGHT RESTRICTIONS MARCH 3,1997 TO APRIL 30, 1997 Weight Restriction Regulations wilI be in force on ail roads under the jurisdiction of -the Municipality of Ctarington from March 3, to Aprit 30, 1997. Vehicle loads are restricted to FIVE (5) TONNES PER AXLE, in accordance with the provisions of the Highway Traffic Act R.S.O. 1990, cH8, s122. Stephen A. Vokes, P. Eng. Director of Public Works Municipality of Clarington 40 Temperance Street Bowmanville, Onitario LiC 3A6 C MUNICIPALITY 0F ON1TARIO1 Dates of Publication: Wednesdlay, February 19,1997 Wednesday, February 26,1997 P.O. 5971 .-.IIOPE UE T1 ON 19[ ~CK< ASMALL PEP(EW1AGE OF MY C6pV CONIIN~T1ON 15 SI-ILL INCOME...t .SFE i r!y UJSEI.TO DE (ALLE1D PAX-WEQUES O5OMErnII94AT ONE POINT? I Poj0~~&HAN