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----(12 -0Oronilo Weekýylies. Wednesdc ay. Noùvember 26, 197 7 -ý Autumn stides into winter are looking for a Manager as a part-time job ta oversee the Fairgrounds and the Fair. Must be a goad peaple persan & pramoter. ~, Send application and resume to Durham Central Agricultural Society, Box 90, Princes>s St., Orono, Ontario LOB 1 MO Though the vibrant colours ing contrasts to be seen at textures evident in the great evident last month have this time of the year. out-dloors in late autumn. becomne muted, the-re are One does not have to look Even after the first snow f'al none the less marty interest- far to see the many different has melted. BA ARTHUR BLACK 1 have before me a letter from a correspondent in Ottawa who signs him/berself Disgusted Reader: "Dear Sir": We live in a nation that is poised on the abyss of disso- lution. The rainforests are being decimnated by chain- saws; the ozone layer is dwindling away; large por- tions of our planet are riddled with land mines; the Royal Family is in crisis -- and what do you write about? Youi write about birdwatching. About bad restaurant food. About your dog and your car and your fallen arches. Sir, 1 implore you to raise the level of your weekly offerings and address the serious issues that rightfully concemn us al"! Well, Disgusted, you're absolutely right. For too long now the tone and tenor of this newspaper column has been hopelessly jejune and sopho- moric. Not to mention super- ficial and irrelevant. That's changing as of now! From here on, 1 dedi- cate myseif to a policy of solemn and profound issue- oriented commentary. Accordingly, 1 introduce this week's topic: the bum. Also known as the Behind, Posterior, Fundament, Rear, Rump and Caboose. The more genteel among us refer to the der- riere, (Mom always called it 'your seat'>. In Yiddish, if's tush. In Spanish, La Luna. Poles speak of the dupa. To Germans it is der hintere. Yes, Disgusted, there are ruder termns, but we needn't go into that. Actually, there's a reason- ably good way to tell Amnerican from Canadians in backside business. Simply put: north of the 49th, itIs 'bum'. The Yanks prefer ,huit'. The British, typically, are even more circumispect. They speak (when they m ust) of "the bottomi." And sometimies they mnust -- speak of such things 1 mean. There is a story con- cerning Queen Victoria who once invited an Admirai Foley to lunch at the palace. The Admirai was in charge of a frigate which had sunk off Portsmouth and was in the process of being salvaged. The Queen wished to know how much progress hiad been made on the project. ,4 'er they talked about the frigate for a whiîe, Queen Victoria asked about a good friend, who happened to be the Admiraî's sister. Alas, the Admirai was a trifle hard of hearing. Hle thought they were stili talking about the salvaged frigate. "Weil, your m-ajesty" he thundered, I am going to have her turned over, take a good look at her bottom and have it welI scraped". They say the Queen care- fully put down her-knife and fork, gathered her napkin over her face, and laughied until the tears ran down her cheeks. British bottoms aren't always a source of humour however -- ask Sir Roger Penrose. Sir Roger is a mathemnati- cian famous (amnong mathe- maticians, anyway) for dis- coverinig mathematical pat- terns known as Penrose, Tilings. These are non- repeating designs that appar- ently turned the scientific world upside downi because they exhibit somnething that is continued page-13) Regulations for 1997-98 Winter Season December 1, 1997 to April 5, 1998 Area residents are hereby advised of the Pro vincial and Municipal Regulations applicable to the 1997-98 Winter Season, December 1, 1997, to April 5, 1998, as follows: The Highway Traffic Act <R.S.O. 1990>: Section 170 <12) prohibits the parking of vehicles on any highway in such a manner as to interfere with the movement of traffic or the clearing of snow from the highway. Section 170 <15) provides the authority for the removal of any vehicles, at the owner's expense, found to be causing, an obstruction on a highway. Section 181 prohibits the parking of vehicles on any highway for a period of longer than three <3) hours, and is also applicable to overnight parking on any road under the junis-, diction of the Municîpality of Clarington. Municipality of Clarington By-law 91-58: Section 4-6 (i) prohibits the parking of vehicles on any high- way for a period of longer than three (3) hours, and is also applicable to overnight parking on any road under the juris- diction of the Municipality of Clanington. ONTARIO Dates of Publication Wed. November 26, Deoember 3, 1997 Don Patterson, C.E.T. Manager of Operations Municipality of Clanington 40 Temperanoe Street Bowmanville, Ontario LiC 3A6