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Arthur Black i haven't heard a peep from Ted Culp for a few years. Hope he's ail right. Mister Cuip Is -- or was -- president of the 'Slmplifide-Spelllng Socicty 0f Canada. Sorry... mhat should read 'Slmpllfied-spelig Sosiety 0V Canada. Ted hates the way the English language works. "It's a very lazy and careiess language" he once told me. "Wc nced to chop out stuif al down the line." He's dead serious (or sertlus). Mfister Culp bas writ- ten a 30,000-word slmplffied dictionary arid even published a newspaper printed in what he calîs 'reformed English'. Much as I love the variety of Engllsh. I have to admit it doesn't make a lot of sense. How cari words like through, tbrew, you can glue be spelled so differently and yet all end with the sanie sound. Why is there an '1"T'i 'could'? A "p" ti 'pneumo- nia'? A "k" in 'knifc'? A"u"ti 'valour'arid one too mariy "a"s in 'aardvark? How come the letter "c" gets pronounced two different ways i the word 'cicada'? And theri there's "ough". whlch can be pronounccd six different ways -- as in tough, through, thorough, cough, hiccough and bough. Some bard once wrote these words about the idio- cyncrasies ofl Engiish: Billet does flot sourid like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet; Viscous, viscoit; load and broad Rounded, wourided; grieve and sieve; Friend and fiend; alive and live; Worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair; Senator, spector, mayor. Výup, English is a bizarre lariguage alriglýt. If Ted Culp had bis way, it would be stripped down and freed from aIl its inconisten- cies. Clearised, as he put it, of ail Its "'extraneous, redun- dant. superfinous sulent sym- bols." Alas, nobody ever paid much 'attention to Ted Culp. Larguage reformers seldom get much respect. A couple of huridred years ago. an American tried to interest his feiiow couritrymeri in reformi- lig the language. They ignored hlm too. Arid his name was Benjamin Frankiin. Back at the turri of the century, the great critic and playwright George Benard Shaw unveiled a whoie new system plus a new alphabet. The world yawried mightily. Perhaps the world instinc- tively knew better than the reformners ever will. The week I received this in the mail: DATELINE: BRUSSELS. The European Union comn- missioriers have anriounced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for Europ ean communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British govemnment conceded that English speliirg had some room for improvemerit and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be know as the EuroEnglish ("Euro" for short). I the first year, "s" wiil be used instead of the so fi "c". Sertiantly, sivil servants will reselve this riews with joy. Also, the hard "c" wull be replaced with "k". Not only wull lits kicar up konfusion, but typewriter and word pros- essor keyboards kan have onie less letter. SExperts predikt there wili be growing enthusiasm in the sekorid year. wheri the trou- biesome "ph" will be replaced by "f'. Tlhis will make words like "fotogçrai" twenty per sent shorter. In the third year, publik aksptaseof the riew speling kan bc expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are pos- sibie. Govemments will enk- ourage the removal of double letters, which have ben a deterent to akurate speiing. Also al wii agre that the hor- rible mess of silent "e"s in the languag is dlsgrasful, and they. would disapear. By the four-th year, peopl w *1 be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and ..w" by "y". During ze fifz year, ze une- sesary "o- kan be dropd from vords kontalning "ou"~ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer. ve vil hav a reli serisibi riteri styl. Zer vil be no mor trubis or difikultis and evrivuri vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drcmi vil finali kumr tru. I should hasteri to tell yu that thc above came to me as an e-mail from a reader who "tihought I would get a kick out of il-, Itz purly turig-mn-cheke, I m shur. Subscribe to the Orono Weekly Times $23.00 a year 983-5301 Sie DEAR ORONO SCHOOL COMMUNITY: Jariuary and'February are busy months at Orono School wlth public speaking for grades four to six students, volleyball team practices, house league activities and report cards. The report cards wili be sent home on Friday. February 27th. Teachers may requcst an interview if neces- sary, and parents are also able to request an interview when the envelope for the report card is retumed to the school. Communication between studerits, parents and teach- ers piays a vital role i edu- cation. The staff has appreci- ated- the willingness of parents to call with concemns about student academic progress or behaviour. Staff members try to communicate with parents early, before academic or behavioural diffi- culties become severe. Let's keep talking to one another ti the best interests of the childrer introur care. Sincerely, Cathy Montreuil, Principal WELCOME We would like to welcome Mrs. McCrac who will join our staff in the mornings as Teacher-Librarian. Mrs. Bird has been secorided to the Board Office to assist schools with Eariy Literacy initiatives. VALENTINE'S DAY February l4th is a day that chiidren enjoy. So that no one feels left but, we ask mhat chil- dren who choose to exchange valentines at school brîng enough valentines for each member of their class. Those who prefer to share only a few valentines may do so outside of school hours. MARCH BREAK The break this year is March 13-2Oth. As we 'get information regarding com- munity events for chiidren/famtlies during mhe break, we wili pass ther.- on. PUBLIC SPEAKING Students i grades four, five and six are busy prepar- inig and presenting speeches i their classes. Students with strong public speaking REGULAR DONUT ISPECIAL 49é Iwith purchase of any size Coffée, Tea or Pop! with Coupon Lu - - - ITry one of our iseven'differeni ktndls Lunch/Supper Specl' 8" Sub or Sandwich Ifor $2.79 with coupon. with'purchase of any size ICoffee, Tea or Pop! Lu mm-mmmm --- skills will train turther for presenting their speeches ini the school public speaking contest, Monday, February l6th at 1:00 p.m. Th e top speaker in our school contest will be mnvited to attend the Royal Canadian Legion Public Speaking Contest on Sunday, February 22, 1998 at 10:45 am. ELECTRICAL SAFETY On Thursday, February 24th in the afternoon, al grades will be attendlng a pre.- sentation on general Electrical Safety. The Monday/Wedriesday kinder- garten class are welcome to join us with their parents. FARM NEWS 1998 EAST CENTRAL FARM SHOW The 1998 East Central Farm Show Is bemng held tis year at the Peterborough Exhibition grounids on March 11land 12, 1998. The Morrow building will be a beehive of actlvity with approximately 110 exhibitors on hand to discuss the latest ti agricul- tural products with you. This is the l8th year that the East Central Soil & Crop Improvement has sponsored the East Central Farmn Show. The Show features Central Ontario firms providing goods and services to the agricul- tural community. Representatives from farm equipment, feed, crop input, insurance, anid finarial ser- vice companles will be keen to show what they have new for C omplete Car & Truck Repairs. Diesel Engines -, Cummins, Detroit & Cat. -@ Radio Dis patched Tow Trucks a eMobile Mechanical Service Truck. f~rll.mwvr -ALL DAY Donut Gelery IBreakie Special 99è Valentine Specials Cheese, Egg, & Bacon, Ham or Sausage on Engiish Muffin with any size purchase of Coffee. Tea or Pop w/coupon We bake fresh on premnises! Open 24 Hours! -mi -r u Sweet Heart Toasted Bagels 79e1 Buy tor (choosefrom J 2 vanieties)I Btiy1 doeil oillts frwtth any lstze purchase of $3.79 (tax incl.) withcopo. i C offe e, Teca o r Pop L -tii Reufipnce$450 with coupon. TAXES EXTRA The Show will open at 12:00 noon on Mardi il and runs tbrough to 10:00 p.m. that evening. On March 12 the Show will be open from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. General admission is $2.00. For those with a County Soil and Crop Improvement Association membershlp, admission is free. County memberships wiîll be available at the door. LEADERSHIP IN ACTION ,The next Leadership tin Action (LIA) program wfll be offered from February 27 to March 1 at Crteff His Communlty near Guelph. Leadership in Action offers three days of practical lead- ership deveiopment ti the form of a dynamic, harids-on semiriar for people who are i leadership positions ti orga- nizations and groups tI rural Ontario. More than 400 people have taken part in LIA over the past rime years and have commended the prograni as an excellent way to strength- eri their organlzations anid a source of new Ideas. skills and confidence to get the job donc. The program also pro-, vides participants with the opportunity to rietwork wlth people from a variety of inter- ests across the province. Registration forms cari be obtained from any office of the Ontario Minlstry of Agricuitural, Food anid Rural Affairs or the ministry's web site at www.gov.on.ca/omafra/engli sh/rural. For more details contact the prograrn co-ordi- nator at 519-826-3203. TriS N-EWwSPAPERj,