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12 Ororio Weekly Times, Wednesday, October 27, 1999 Writers take note Arthur Black SORRY, WRONG NUMBER The first cordless phone 1 ever saw was the size and weighî of a twenty-sixer. It cost ils trend% owvner somnewiere around $3.000. Plus whatever lie paid for- subsequent nernia operations. That was back in the early '80's. Today, 1 can pick up a ceil phone the size of a deck of cards w\iîli len times the recep- lion of that early model and it won'l cosl mie a dimre -- if 1 sign a binding serv ice contract. Progress? Millions îhink so. l'ni [lot so suire. SCell phone mania is g-allop- ing Ilirougli sociely like a bad 'flu bug. In the U.S., one corn- pany - Sprint- is signiig up 8,000 new customners a day. Sorne genlus'lias figuredý oui Iliat somewhere in North America, someone is buying a, ceil phone every 37 minutes. 1And i's not just us. LasI year 121 million celi phones were sold around the world. Tliat's four limes the population of Canada, folks. Not juisitlie (Upper Crusl eitlier. Pizza delivery men carry lem. So do houisewives and sales reps and sclioolkids. Thley're everywliere. Very soon each one of uis will be onfly a few digits awNay fromi anyone else in the world. IUndeniably., beneficial if you liappen 10 be sîranded In a bro- ken down car atI midnighit; or lying in a ravine by a remnole hiking Iraîl wilh a sprained ankle and a snowslormi coming on. Handy- 10 be able 10 whip ouI your celI phone and punch in theie nber of CAA or Search and Rescuie. Sociologist Bernard Beck is gung ho.. He says soon "anyone wîll be able 10 find .o.. .you cannol biide because' the ceil phone goes with youi, and i o leave il beinrd, you wNill be blamed for not laking il witb you."1 Ohi, sweIll. CelI phone gilî.ý Just wbiaî I needed - a new neu- rosis. Cal me Kermil the Hermit, but the prospect of being on cal te, tbe rest of the planel 24 bours a day is not one Ihat fils my hearl wi th joy. Somietimes - a lot of limies, actually - 1 don't wanit to be found. Rîglil nlow, excuses are e-asy. Ijust say I1liaven't gotten arounid to buying a celi phone yet. Or if 1 liad one, I'd say the batteries were low or "ï must have been-out of rangýe". But if lechnology keeps expanding ini quanlum gultips as it lias for the past decade, the units will soon be as clieap, reliable and uibiqui- tous as Timex wrislwatches. And niow, a confession. Before I embrace those new lies, let mie lay îanoldi one to rest. I arn not a virgin. 1 ownied a ceil phone once. About ten years ago, when the, pliones they are now giving away were retailing for about 400 bucks'a pop. Mea culpa. I succuinbed. Bouglil my celi- plione. Carrîed '11yVuniît' witli me everywhere 1 went. For about a week., Then one day as 1 was drivîng homne from work I decided 10 cailihome just because I could. "Hi, lhon" I buirbled, jugglinig the ceilIplione and steerinig around a lumibering sern],i. Just called 10 let you know I'm on my way homie."9 "Oh really," said the voice in my celiplione, dryly. "o mean. . .jusî like lasinilt Seems that back home. the dog had just lhrown U Lp 01l the carpet. a pot of broccoli was boiling over on the stove and there was a squiad of Jehovahi's Witniesses ai the front door. A phone call conifirm-ingi the obvi- ous was som-ieting l MN Helpmiiate -Thrioiugh Life's Trials really dïin'î need. Back during World War 11, the Brits had an energ y- savling camipaïin thatfeatured the slo- gani "Is tbis caîl really neces- sary?" ThFlat's what this w,ýorld needs not newer ceil phones. Older slogans. Losing her hair for Big Brothers The U.G.L.Y. Server you would like to see Jenny Contest is well underway with lose her hair, be sure to visit a variety of special events tak- each of the particlpating Ing place throughout the restaurants and make a three-week contest. This year donation to Big Brothers. The the fundraising totals will becliead shaving will take place kept secret riglit up until the -aI a wvrap up party at the wini- last moment, making for a niing establishment whcre thie nerve-racking final two weeks winning U. G.L.Y. SERVER for Executive Director, Jenny will do the honours. Walhout. "If the U.G.L.Y. con- The nine participating test raises $15,000 thîs year, restaurants for the U.G.L.Y. I pledge to shave my head!" If (Understanding, Generous. L f BL ACKI Beat the November chilis by fueling your writing pas- sion wlth sorne Invlgorating activities. The Wrlter's Circle of Durham Reglon (WCDR) lias an lnterestlng November planned for members, guests and workshop attendees. Enj oy award-winnlng author, playwriglit and poet, Linda Hutsell-Manning. who is the featured speaker at the next regular meeting to be held on Saturday, November l3th, from 9:00 to 11:00 a.m. at Jackson's Touch of Class, 104 Consumers Drive in Whitby. Linda lias written seven chfidren's books/plays. TVOntario scripts -and short fiction ýand poetry' for Canadian literai-ymagazines and anthologies, and she bas presented readings and work- shops across Canada, and in. Germany and Luxembourg. She recently completed a Urne travel novel and a poetry col- lection, and is currently worklng on an adult novel. An'ong Iînda's distinctions are the "Our Choice" Award for "Dinosaur Days," 1994, from the Canadian Chldren's Book Centre-. She was short-, listed for the Stephen Leacock Poeti-y Award, for "Wa]king on Broken Glass" in 1994; the Short Grain Award, for- "Dementia Days" in 1991;, and the Wrlter's Quarterly Poetry Competition, for "Freak Show" In 1988. The cost for the breakfast meet- ings is $8 for members and $12 for guests. Seating is Bim- ited and caterlng arrange- ments need to be confirrned by the Thursday prior, s0 cal Carol Clarke at (905) 668- 3457 to reserve your space. If you've ever dreamed of becomlng a published author, lt's Urne to take a look at how the pros get notlced. Writing guru Brian, Henry Is offering his popular workshop, "Flow to Get Publlshed" on Saturday, November 2th from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at St. Paul's United Church, 65 King's Crescent, 4~ax. Join Brian and well-known liter- Loveable, You) Contest this year are: Allantes, Sflks Cafe, The New Massey House, Copper Kettle, Einstein'ýs, The Bow & Fiddle British Pub, Tim's Fifth Wheel, Don Cherry's in Courtice and Caner's Bar & Grill. Contestants enjoyed a Mini Bowling Tournament last Sunday night where they got to know their fellow U.G.L.Y. competitors. Not only was this a chance to have fun togeth- er, but also to raise addition- ai money, bringing each con- testant one step dloser to> being $voted$ the U.G.L.Y.esl in Clarington. This is a fiantastic way to support Big Brothers of Clarmngton and enjoy great food and fun, so plan on vis- iting each of the nine restau- rants beforeNovember 5th when the contest ends. Remember, U.G.L.Y. IS BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU SUPPORT BIG BROTHERS! Fred Devries Proprietor r ary agent, TlIna Tsaîlas, as tliey guide you through the steps to getting your fiction published. Geared to fiction writers, the worksliop will cover everythlng from getting started to getting an agent, from writing a queiy letter to wrlting what thse publishers want. Brian Henry bas edited fic- tion for sixteen years. He teaches Creative Wrîing at, Ryerson University and George Brown College in Toronto, and lie lad led writ- ing workshops in both Canada and the United States. Tina Tsallas is a local literai-y agent who- bas been in the publishing business for twenty years. Her presence wfll give would-be authors the unique opportunlty to meet one of those rare agents who Is acceptlng new clients. Corne and get ready to be publislied! The cost of the workshop Is, $36.00 at the door, or $32.00 if you pay be November 1 th. To register for thse workshop, cail Sue at (905) 985-1962.) And keep Saturday, FRED'S AUTOBODY LTD. 1633 Baseline Road, Unit 1 Bowmanville, Ontario Li C 3L4 Tel:' (905) 623-6353 Fax: (905) 623-3913 rI " Pedicures/Manicures " Waxing ,I o Nail Extensios " Ear Candling " Eyelash Tiniting ESTHETI " Air Brushing " Electronic Muscle Stimulate (EMS) 'C STUDIO S171 Mil St. , Orono, ON LOB 1iMO. Brigitte Brown Gift, Certifica tes Available (905) 983-8169 p. MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. SERVING DURHAM REGION SINCE 1841 ALL FUNERAL SERVICES PREARRANGED AND/OR PREPAID BURIAL - CREMATION - TRANSFERS "WHERE PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE 15 IMPORTANT" FUNERAL DIRECTORS PAUL R. MORRIS GARY M. CON WAY DOUG R. RUTHERFORD DEBRA D. KELLEHER 623-5480 4 DIVISION ST.. BOWMANVILLE - AT QUEEN ST. quille December 4[h free on your calendar for Tise Business of Wrltlng," Dorothea Helms' excitlng workshop on how to i-un a writing business. 'ibis workshop will be lield at the Pickering Public Llbrary Auditorium from 9:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. The cost of the day is $55.00. For information, cali Sue at (905) 985-1962. ITPAYS T ADVERTUSE IN THiE ORONO WEEKLY. T 1iMESb 983-5301 q