The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, January 27, 2010 Basic Black by Arthur Black Olympic fun `n g ames Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words, it is war minus the shooting. --George Orwell Obviously George never spent much time in The Great White North. In Canada, we don't do sports like that. Canadians play nice. Look how nice we've played with the IOC since they graciously deigned to let us host the 2010 Winter Olympics. When they asked us to build brand new multi-million-dollar sports venues, we reached for our cheque book. When they complained that the Sea to Sky highway through the mountains was too twisty we built them a new one. As for Olympic-themed clothing, we kind of hoped they'd give the nod to our local, traditional, Cowichan sweaters which we've bestowed upon everyone from the Queen to Vladimir Putin - but the IOC fixers nixed that. Said they could get coats cheaper from an 'approved' supplier back East. We said "Hey, no problem!" -- as we did when they outsourced those official Olympics mittens. They are HUGE best-sellers. Which is great news for the Chinese manufacturers who are shipping them to us by the boatload. When the IOC decreed that all Olympic torch bearers would wear an outfit that made them look like fugitive bakers or maybe extras from a Caspar the Friendly Ghost movie, Canadians didn't utter a peep of protest. And when they announced that the torch bearers would be forbidden to wear any other advertising whatsoever - that even the Nike swooshes on their running shoes had to be ducttaped over -- we just smiled and bent over a little further. Hey, why not? The IOC said they'd even pay for the duct tape! Admittedly, the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra got a little uppity when the Olympic Organizing Committee told them the VSO would be LOCAL FARM FRESH PRODUCE Sikma Orchards, Hwy. 2, 5 km East of Newcastle, 905-786-2153. Strawberries & Apples in season Link Greenhouses, 3990 Bragg Rd., Orono, 905-983-9003 Hydroponic Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Sweet Corn. Strickland Perennial Farm, 5467 Middle Rd. Bowmanville. Potatoes, Tomatoes, Carrots, Peas & Beans, Garlic, Swiss Chard, Pears & Perennials H. Richardson Farms Ltd, 4825 Regional Road 9 East, Kendal. Fruit Trees, Strawberry plants, asparagus. MEAT Berrybank Farms, 3383 Taunton Rd., Orono, 905-9835787. Beef, Chicken, Seasonal Produce. Kendal Vale, 4561 Conc. 6, Kendal, 905-983-6107. Lamb, Wool, Wool Blankets. Lee Farms, 3937 Conc. 8, Orono, 905-983-5370. Organic Beef, Chicken, Lamb, Turkey, Pigs Sikmadale Farm, Orono, 905-983-5442 All natural grain-fed beef Clement Poultry, Organically Fed Poultry. Capons, Roasting Chickens & Turkeys. 85 Lovekin Rd., Newcastle 905-987-7239 Egg-Shack, 4240 Conc.#4, Orono, 905-786-EGGS FRUITS & VEGETABLES Fred's Fruit Market, 4303 Hwy #115, Orono, 905-983-5628. Tax Farm, Regional Rd. 42, Orono, 905-983-6105. Locally grown potatoes, sweet corn & canteloupe in season essentially 'lip-synching' their performance at the Opening Ceremonies. The conductor had a hissy fit and cried foul. "I regarded that as fraudulent and withdrew," the conductor said. What a grandstander! Didn't he know there's historical precedent for faking the music at the opening of the Olympics? Just two years ago in Beijing the officials yanked seven -year old singer Yang Peiyi who was slated to sing Ode to the Motherland. At the last minute they replaced her with nine-year-old Lin Miaoke. Oh, the seven year old could sing like a bird, but...well, she had these crooked teeth, see? So the officials taped her voice and got the more photogenic Lin Miaoke to lip-synch for the ceremony. Wouldn't you know it -- some nosey Western reporter figured it out and spilled the beans. Can't blame the Chinese really - they're pretty green when it comes to international sports protocol. Canadians have a history of playing nice with the big boys. Once upon a time we had money-making NHL franchises in Winnipeg and Quebec City, but NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, a New Yorker, didn't care for that. He yanked the teams, re-locating them in the U.S. You can see his reasoning. Much more sensible to situate pro franchises in hockey hotbeds like Arizona and Florida. The important thing - and I think this is probably what the IOC likes best about Canada as a venue - is our respectfulness. And boy, are we respectful. We're so respectful we won't even let foreigners into the country who look like they might not be respectful enough. Last December, Canadian border guards at Vancouver grabbed up Amy Goodman and questioned her for over an hour. So who's Amy Goodman? Taliban operative? Al Qaeda suicide bomber? Worse. She's host of a show called Democracy Now on National Public Radio in the US. The border guys were nervous about the fact that this 120-pound middle-aged woman broadcaster was planning to give a speech in Vancouver. After an hour-long grilling, the gist of which was one question: was she planning to say anything negative about the Olympics? -- they grudgingly let her into the country. But only on a 48-hour pass, mind. Can't be too careful with these 120-pound, middle-aged female radio people. You know the old saying: you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs - and the 2010 Winter Olympics is some omelette. The price tag, we're assured as of this writing, is $6 billion (but I'm taking side bets that the final bill, when all security and infrastructure costs are toted up, will be well north of $10 billion you read it here first). But look on the bright side -there is life - and black ink -after these international bashes. Look at Montreal. As of this year that city is officially free of its Expo 67generated debt. And it only took 42 years. GET UP & ACTIVE! January is Family Fit Lifestyle Month! Agriculture's Bounty Contact us to place your listing. Call: 905-983-5301 or oronotimes@rogers.com LOCAL FARMERS Reserve your listing in our new, weekly