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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, May 12, 2010 Basic Black by Arthur Black Common sense: Lost in the sun Ah, the sacred rites of spring! A balmy late afternoon on a baseball diamond in a leafy downtown park in Hamilton, Ontario; to the west, the sun slowly sinking like a syrupy golden ball. A bunch of the lads, middle-aged amateurs all, playing through the bottom of the eighth. Look! There's George Black on the infield. A burly, bushy-bearded guy who runs his own trucking business is George, but tonight he's patrolling the third-base bag, as he has in this league for years. No World Series heebie-jeebies here. No textbook double plays or 90-mile-an-hour splitfingered fastballs. The game is Slo-Pitch, so the guy on the mound doesn't so much hurl the ball as lob it loopily towards home plate. The batter tenses, swings and... Lines the ball straight at George, playing third. George doesn't catch it. He 'loses it in the sun' as the old sportscasters' cliché goes, for indeed the sun is setting behind the backstop. Astronomically speaking, the batter represents old Sol, George is the Earth and the ball is the moon between the two, invisible in a miniature solar eclipse. Planet Earth (which is to say George) throws up his glove hand, but too late. The screaming line drive slams into his hand fracturing two fingers then deflecting into George's sunglasses, shattering them and cutting George for 20 stitches around the eyes. George Black may not be a professional ball player but he is an alert and canny citizen of our times. He reads the situation and reacts just like a pro. He knows instinctively what to do. He sues. Not the batter. Not the pitcher. Not the amateur league he plays in. George sues...Dofasco - the company that paid for and erected the baseball facilities on which George got injured. His reasoning? Impeccable. Dofasco should have had the foresight to erect a screen protecting players from the setting sun. In the lawsuit, Dofasco is charged with "failing to warn (Mr. Black) of the dangers of the sun at the particular time of day." George himself puts it more succinctly: "There have been no instructions (from Dofasco) "in avoiding the sun." George reckons $1,500,000 would assuage his grief and suffering. Good point. I know when I got that bad sunburn at Tofino last year I didn't get so much as a sympathy card from the B.C. government, much less a cash settlement. And remember that woman who successfully sued McDonalds a few years back for her burned crotch? She'd purchased a coffee in the McDonald's Drive-Thru, placed it between her thighs while she drove away, the coffee slopped over and burned her. Burned her! Obviously it was the restaurant's fault for serving superheated coffee. Heartless bastards. There is some precedent for George's baseball-oriented lawsuit. In 1985 an aggrieved mother sued Exhibition Place in Toronto after her ten-yearold son was hit by a foul ball during a Blue Jays game. She lost. Back then, judges - even some citizens - subscribed to the theory that Stuff Happens and that occasionally it was the citizen's responsibility to Get Over It. Today, George's lawsuit proceeds apace through the Canadian legal system. Dofasco has been compelled to hire Paul Jorgenson, an American architect who has designed several ball fields across North America. Mister Jorgenson pointed out that most ball fields, like the one George Black was injured on, are designed so that the setting sun shines away from the batter's eyes, which means that once in a while it's going to shine into the eyes of at least some of the opposing players on the field. He also pointed out that it would be impractical, if not impossible to shield the eyes of all infield players at all times. He did not add that ballplayers have been performing under these onerous conditions pretty much without complaint for the past century and a half or so. The judge's response? He sided with....George. Dofasco's motion to dismiss was tossed and the case could now go to court. My guess is Dofasco will sigh and settle out of court for some lesser amount. George Black will take home a bundle and the city of Hamilton will never see another Dofasco dime for recreational facilities in the city. We all live and learn. And George if you're reading this, here's something you might learn. You know how Dofasco failed to warn you "of the dangers of the sun at that particular time of day"? Here's a tip: this evening, sometime after supper and before it gets really dark...the sun will probably do it again. Not for certain, but that's been the pattern every day for the past 4.5 billion years. You might want to make a note of that and scotch tape it to your baseball glove. Light Frozen Rhubarb Dessert This delicious dessert is perfect to make and freeze ahead for a large gathering on Mother's Day or the long weekend. The texture of the filling is similar to semifreddo, which is Italian for half-frozen, and contrasts nicely with the crunchy crust. Prepare the crust and rhubarb mixture ahead of time for quick assembly later. Preparation Time: 20 minutes Cooling Time: 30 minutes Cooking Time: 25 minutes Freezing Time: 8 hours or overnight Serves: 12 Ingredients: 4 cups (1 L) sliced Ontario Rhubarb (about 1-1/2 lb/750g) 1 cup (250 mL) packed brown sugar 1 orange 1 tbsp (15 mL) cornstarch 2 egg whites or 1/4 cup (50 mL) liquid egg whites (preferably room temperature) 1/2 cup (125 mL) granulated sugar Red food colouring Crust and Topping:1 cup (250 mL) whole wheat flour 1/2 cup (125 mL) walnut pieces 1/4 cup (50 mL) packed brown sugar 1 tsp (5 mL) cinnamon 1/3 cup (75 mL) butter, melted Mint sprigs (optional) Preparation Instructions: In saucepan, bring rhubarb and brown sugar to boil over medium-high heat, stirring. Reduce heat to medium; cook until rhubarb is softened to sauce consistency, 10 to 15 minutes. Meanwhile, grate rind of orange and squeeze orange to yield 1/4 cup (50 mL) juice. Mix together juice, rind and cornstarch until smooth; stir into rhubarb sauce and increase heat to high and boil for 1 to 2 minutes or until thickened slightly. Transfer to bowl and let cool to room temperature OR chill in refrigerator for about 30 minutes. Crust and Topping: Meanwhile, in food processor, pulse together flour, walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon until crumbly. Add butter and pulse until combined; press 1-1/2 cups (375 mL) crumbs over bottom of 9-inch (23 cm) springform pan. Place remaining crumbs in baking pan. Bake crust and crumbs in 350°F (180°C) oven for 7 minutes or until crumbs are golden brown: remove crumbs. Bake crust for 8 minutes longer or until golden brown. Remove to rack and let cool to room temperature, 25 to 30 minutes. In large bowl, beat egg whites on high speed until soft peaks form; gradually beat in sugar, a spoonful at a time, beating until stiff peaks form. Stir in rhubarb. Stir in food colouring by drops to desired colour. Pour over crust; sprinkle with reserved crumbs. Freeze for 8 hours or overnight. (If frozen solid, remove from freezer a few minutes before serving.) Run knife dipped in hot water around the edge and remove springform ring; cut into serving pieces and garnish with mint if desired. Nutritional Information: 1 Serving Protein: 3.0 grams, Fat: 8.0 grams, Carbohydrates: 42.0 grams, Fibre: 2 grams, Calories: 246