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( 8 J On>no Weekly Times. Wednesday, Aptll 29, 2000 ) Clarke High School students planted 500 wild raspberry canes along the walkway at the Samuel Wilmot Nature Reserve last Thursday. The double row of canes will be backed up with a planting of Hawthorn in the fall. These plants are designed to keep pedestrians from going off the trails. BASIC BLACK ARTHUR BLACK DISORDER IN THE COURT! Swallows go back- to Capistrano. Bees return to the hive. Horses head for the 'corral. Idiots, it seems, wind up in court. The Halls of, Justice must contain more stupidity stupidity per square centimeter than Jerry Lewis's bicycle helmet. helmet. Consider some of the lawsuits lawsuits now winding their tortuous tortuous way through various courtrooms on this continent. In Dallas, singer Kenny Rogers is being sued for throwing a Frisbee into the audience at a performance last fall. The Frisbee it seems, hit a chandelier, causing glass to fall and cut a New York accountant watching the show. The lawsuit alleges facial scarring as well as physical and mental suffering. The accountant's wife adds that the incident robbed her husband of his sex drive. In Texas, a woman has filed a $1 million lawsuit against the folks who make the soft drink, Dr. Pepper. It seems the pop makers sponsored sponsored a college football punt- catching promotion. The woman got to stand on the 50- yard line and attempt to catch three punts from a kick-simulation kick-simulation machine. If she caught all three, she'd win $1 million. She didn't catch any of them. But she cried, 'foul!", saying the balls didn't come down close enough to her. (They all landed within 25 feet of where she was standing). She reckons a settlement of oh, say, Sl 'million US would go a long way to alleviating her mental anguish. And a thfee-time loser by the name of Kendall Breaux, has a little court action going on down in Thibodaux, Louisiana. Breaux isn't actually actually in the courtroom. He's serving a life sentence for drilling two bank tellers during during a holdup. His lawsuit is directed against his getaway driver, who, Beaux says, ■caused him 'unnecessary pain and suffering' by crashing the car during the police chase away from the bank. Perhaps our 'courts of law are a natural destination for those among us who row through life with one oar out of the water. There's a lot of boneheadedness there, even before loony litigants show up. Consider these outtakes from, actual courtroom cross- examinations - and remember - these guys are practicing I; swygia ' Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, honeymoon, didn't you? A Q I went to Europe, sir. And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: What is your date of birth? A: August 30th. Q: And what year would that be? A: That would be every year. Q: You understand that all your responses must be oral,, sir? Now what high school did you attend? A: Oral. And my favourite. A tenacious pitbull of a lawyer is badgering a medical examiner, examiner, trying to prove his incompetence: Q: Doctor, before you conducted conducted the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. . Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for any sign of respiration? A: No. Q: So, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No, Q: Really, doctor. How can you be so sure that the patient was not alive. A: Well, his brain was in ajar on my desk, bqt I suppose he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. Classified Advertising $5.00 This past weekend I Went up be camping from after school north with my uncle Terry and on Friday to Saturday evening cousin Shawn, and had an j n the hope of catching some adventurous fishing trip. steelhead on opening night. The lake we went to had no real name, but the owner Recipe of the month: called it Lake on the Hill. Glazed Broiled Fillets The lake, no larger than 7 Ingredients acres in size, had an amazing 2 pounds skinless sole fillets, depth of 44 feet. or other fillets, fresh or We used worms, spinners, frozen, crankbaits and dead minnows 2 tablespoons lemon juice, to go after the speckled trout, 1/2 ■ cup grated Parmesan but came up empty. cheese. We marked quite a few 1/4 cup softened butter, fish on the fish finder and had 2 tablespoons mayonnaise or a couple of bites. We had a salad dressing, lot of snags caused by the logs 3 tablespoons chopped green that managed to sink to the onion bottom of the lake. 1 /4 teaspoon salt. The weather was cold and Dash of liquid hot pepper or wet as we drove the car to the Tabasco Sauce, trailer park in Bancroft. Method These we unloaded the four -Thaw frozen fillets, wheeler and headed into the * -Place in a'single layer on a bush in the middle of nowhere well-greased baking pan. to find the small lake. -Brush fillets with lemon Luckily we found it. t juice and let stand 10 minutes. We fished for an hour, then -Combine remaining ingredi- went back to , the trailer to ents. warm our numb hands and -Broil about 3-4 inches from feet, and get a bite to eat. We heat for 6 to 8 minutes, until built a camp fire and ate hot fish flakes easily with fork, dogs, chips and. pop. We -Remove from heat, spread fished another hour, had more with cheese mixture, bites, but still caught nothing. -Broil 2-3 minutes longer The hands and fleet started until lightly browned, numbing once again, so we knew what to do -- head back for another fire. We warmed up and then headed home, skunked. Shawn and I were so tired we slept all the way home. This is the weekend trout anglers have waited all winter for. Many trout fishermen will be camped by the streams to cast their lines at the strike of 12, on Friday night. I will be one of those trout anglers. I along with four friends "will Canada. ajj ' m MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. SERVING DURHAM REGION SINCE 1841 ALL FUNERAL SERVICES PREARRANGED AND/OR PREPAID BURIAL-CREMATION-TRANSFERS "WHERE PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE IS IMPORTANT" FUNERAL DIRECTORS PAUL R. MORRIS GARY M. CONWAY DOUG R: RUTHERFORD DEBRA D. KELLEHER 623-5480 4 DIVISION ST.. BOWMANVILLE - AT QUEEN ST. Il , -4f We're the largest in the world! Habitat is all about people helping Canadian ' families in need. Help Habitat eliminate substandard substandard and poverty housing in