The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

, Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 11 Masons celebrate 25 years The Orono Masonic Lodge celebrated their 125 Anniversary Saturday night, with a dinner at the Orono Community Centre. Making presentations to the Lodge that night were: (L to R) W. Bro. Pat Dowling representing representing Durham Lodge; W. Bro. Eric Gareau made a presentation on behalf of M.P.P. John O'Toole' and Premier Mike Harris; Rt. W. Bro. Wm. Henshall presented on behalf of the Grand Master; W. Bro. Jamie Cowan, Master of Orono Lodge; Rt. W. Bro, Terry Shand, Deputy Master; M.P. Alex Shepherd brought greetings from the Prime Minister, and W. Bro. Charles Trim made a presentation presentation on behalf of the Municipality of Clarington. the rest of us.) A guy who delivers packages packages for FedEx says he'll go Postal if he hears one more recipient say: "That package is for me? Eeeewwww, what's in it?" (Well, Madame, my X-ray vision tells me...) ■ Teachers regularly get asked how they can put up with a room foil of restless teenage hormones day after day. A funeral home director said he was sick to death of telling curious people that no, he's never seen a corpse come back to life. Anyone whose job encompasses encompasses even a hint of hanky pariky is bound to attract lecherous lecherous queries. .A massage therapist says she is frequently frequently asked if any customers 'get aroused' when she's working on them. She invariably replies deadpan "Occasionally.:.but there's a really painful pressure point for that." And a woman who works • in one • of those one-hour photQ-processing booths is always being asked if she gets nude photos to develop. Her answer? Oh, yeah. '"I have seen 'way more of my customers customers than I care to." But it's the attempts at comedy . that really do employees in. There's an attendant at the Metro Toronto Zoo who's responsible responsible for cleaning out the elephant elephant enclosures. Fie says that at least once a month some rubbernecker will come by, see him pushing a broom across the cage floor and call out "Say, what kind of elephant elephant are you?" Har har. Reminds me of a story about another pachyderm apprentice who stopped off at a bar for a brew after work one night. The guy on the next stool took a sniff, looked at him and said "No offense, pal -- but you really stink!" "I know," said the zoo worker sadly. "It's because of my job. I'm with the elephant act in the circus. Before each show I have to give the elephant elephant an enema so that we don't have any accidents on stage. It's tricky business. I have to administer it quickly and them jump back. And sometimes I don't move fast enough." "Wow," said the guy on the next stool. ' "How much do they pay you to do a lousy job like that?" "Eighty-five bucks a week" said the man cheerfully- cheerfully- "You gotta be kidding. Why don't you quit?" "What?" retorteâ the man, "and get out of show business?" business?" BASIC BLACK ARTHUR BLACK WHAT'S YOUR LINE? When you run into a stranger at a party you can usually count on having to answer one drearily predictable predictable question before you can chow down that cocktail wienie. Sooner rather than later, your newfound friend wearing the lapel tag that says HI! MY NAME IS IZZY! - is going to ask you the 24- * karat conversational gambit: "So, what do you do for a living?" I don't mind really. It's a question I've answered many times in many different ways, having been employed over the years as everything from dishwasher to door-to-door encyclopedia flogger and not forgetting plumber's apprentice, apprentice, TV host, farm hand, comic book editor, advertising advertising salesman, B-movie actor,- tar and gravel roofer, inventory inventory clerk, and cowpuncher at the Ontario Public Stock Yards. I don't mind that first question about what I do for a living; it's the second ques tion that drives me huts. Take this job, for instance'. When I confess that I write a newspaper newspaper column sooner or later somebody's bound to say: "So, does that mean that you get your newspapers for free?" That's right, buddy. All I have to do is hang around down at the newspaper office for forty hours a week and I can save myself a quarter. It's not just my job. I have a friend who spends a lot of times surfing those chat groups on the Internet. That's where anonymous nèrds all over the,Web log on to type their thoughts on some topic of the day. Last week the topic was 'What's the most common question you get about yourjob?' As a columnist, I get off lightly. A Canada Post employee logged on to say that he's constantly constantly asked if he gets free stamps as one of the perks of the job. (Only if he steams them off the envelopes, like Advertisement f Open Letter to the Residents of Orono From Troy Young \ I want to take this opportunity opportunity to try and dispel two rumours that have come to my attention during during this mayoral campaign. Both of them concern , the residents of Orono and have been very disturbing to me, as there is no truth to either of them. The first is regarding our arena. There is a persistent rumour I have heard that I am in support of the Municipality taking control of the Orono Arena., This is not true. There is an ice allocation policy being worked on at the municipal level. However, this policy is not going to be forced upon our two independently-run arenas. I presently presently sit on the Newcastle Arena-Board and I made a motion rejecting the Town policy because it would take too much control from the Board. Discussions are on going with our ice providers, but in no way is something something going to. be forced upon them, Our user groups in Orono will not be forced to go tp another arena for ice time. ' I live in Orono. I grew up playing hockey at our arena. I know first hand about the commitment the .volunteers have and die pride that the people in Orono have in that facility. When the Community was raising money for the new Olympia, 1 was very supportive with my newspaper, and, have a plaque • hanging proudly in my office thanking thanking me for my support. Our family business, Sonbon Homes, was a major contributor; our îogo is on die Olympia. I tell you this to show you my commitment to the Arena. If the Town were to take it over, we would be losing far more than the right to allocate our ice. We would be losing the support of our volunteers and the community, support for the arena. The Town will not, be able to duplicate that. My commitment to the residents of Orono is that under no circumstances will the Municipality be taking over , any aspect of the operation of the Orono Arena. The other rumour I have heard is about what my family's intentions are for the Forestry property. property. People still assume that we bought it to build houses on. This also is not true. Part of the reason we chose to move to Orono back in 1978 was because of the beauty of the Forestry. When the Province first announced its intention to sell the property, I was at meetings held in town. I remember " that the-biggest concern of the residents residents was drat someone would take the property .and prevent the local residents from enjoying it. We have kept that in mind since buying the property. Many residents walk dreir dogs in here on a regular basis. The Orono. Cubs and Scouts have established established a camp on our site, as well as hosting die district Cuboree for the past three years. At the meeting recently for the Friends of the Rutherford Trail it was announced that a linking trail would be established established over our lands.. We have been contained by die Orono Athletics Association about putting soccer fields in here. And of course we helped host the Great Canadian Town Band Festival on our property- property- People are concerned that homes would be going in on site. That will not be happening. We are custom home builders, not developers. developers. Also, my father is ready to retire from the housing business, and I have . no desire to build houses. Within the next two years, Sonbon Homes will no longer be operating so we can concentrate on our property. property. It'is our intent to have the property designated as a tourist node in the future. We hope to use its beauty and potential to host special » events to make Orono a destination point for people. We hope to turn the greenhouse into, a wedding chapel with reception facilities. My atre, - . . . I invite members of the community to come in and walk the grounds. We are more than willing to show people what our intentions are. If anyone still has any concerns about either of these issues or anything else, contact me at home at 983-6103, Please remember not to believe every rumour you hear, especially during an election campaign. campaign. If you hear something, please ask me about it. I thank you for your time and I look forward, to representing Orono and the rest of Clarington as ■ Mayor. Sincerely, Councillor Troy Young^ the public parents hope to turn their-home into a bed and breakfast. Long range goals include a possible dinner the-