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OroiTQ Weekly Times. Wednesday, October 25, 2000 - 7 Jennifer Watson and the rest of the Orono Girl Guides assembled assembled at the Orono Public School Friday evening, for the bus ride to Camp Adelaide in Haliburton where they spent the week-end. BASIC BLACK ARTHUR BLACK THIS GLAND IS YOUR GLAND... Is it my imagination, or are there really a lot more boobs in the news these days? Some days it feels like you can't turn around without - being poked in the eye with yet another mammarian-ori- ented bulletin. Case in point: this snippet from yesterday's newspaper. • OSLO, Norway (Reuter) - A bare-breasted blonde mermaid mermaid atop a rock is making tourists gape along a Norwegian fjord. It seems a comely wench by the name of Line Oexnevad (would I make that up?) has taken it upon herself to personally recreate the legend legend of Denmark's Little Mermaid -- but in the coastal waters of Norway. Accordingly, Ms Oexnevad, decked out in naught but a long blonde wig and a swishy neoprene Fishtail, has shim-, mied herself up onto a picturesque picturesque rock aloi\g the Lyse fjord at least a half dozen times over the past three summers, summers, then lolled back and waited serenely for passengers passengers aboard the tourist boats to notice. They noticed. "One man even jumped off a boat and swam over to me" she marveled. marveled. Yeah, well it • probably wasn't the neoprene fishtail, Line. It's amazing, the power of a simple gland.. .or two. The island I live on is currently being gang-banged by an offshore offshore logging company. Not surprisingly, this has elicited a variety of protests from the people who have to live with the results. Logging roads have been blocked, protestors have chained themselves to logging equipment, placard- wavers have marched on the Legislature. And none pf these initiatives initiatives have garnered one-tenth the attention that has been lavished on a recently published, published, simple, black and white twelve-page calendar. It's called Salt Spring Island Women: Preserve and Protect. Each month of the calendar features various women of the island dressed in strategically placed lambs, spruce boughs, here a backpack, backpack, there a dulcimer -- and very little else. The calendar is not in the least salacious or pornographic pornographic - you'd see more flesh on the guest couch of the Letterman show any night of the week - but it is beautifully beautifully photographed and the subjects subjects are...quite lovely in an unHollywood way. Lovely - and clearly unclothed. And naturally the calendar is selling like hotcakes. It was conceived as a modest fundraiser to protest the logging, logging, but it's turning into a runaway bestseller. They've had inquiries from every part of Canada, all over the States, even Europe and Asia. Why? Chalk it up to the Boob Factor. Despite decades - centuries, even - of what should have been overexposure overexposure (think Lady Godiva, Winged Victory, Venus on the Half Shell, Sophia Loren, Xena the Warrior Princess) the simple human female breast still has the power to shock and.. well, titillate. Just another Dumb Male Thing, you think? Not exclusively. exclusively. Tommy's Bar and Grill in Maple Ridge, BC recently ran a competition tastefully entitled "the Win Boobs Contest". First prize: a $3,000 plastic surgery breastenhancing breastenhancing operation. Crass, offensive, sexist and an insult to womanhood, right? Yeah, well at last count the folks at Tommy's had two thousand entries in their ballot box - all from hopeful women. Meanwhile, Boob Technology marches on. A company of British engineers' named . Ove Arup has announced a brand new, state of the art brassiere called Bioform, soon to be available at better lingerie stores everywhere. everywhere. A press release claims the new bra is revolutionary. Seems they've replaced the underwire with plastic bands which thëy claim "more comfortably comfortably distribute the load and reduce stress". Sounds...uplifting, until you learn that this is the same engineering firm that designed London's Millennium Bridge. You know...the one that been closed to traffic because it's too/..wobbly. Ladies, you've been warned. SUBSCRIBE TO THE ORONO WEEKLY TIMES $25.00 F 1 EBBladilllllfl S 1 '*11 L j GORD ROBINSON A DECISIVE NEW COUNCILLOR FOR WARD 4 Gord Robinson understands • The importance of controlled urban development while maintaining the strength of agriculture and rural life in Ward 4. • That support for local businesses is essential and will promote their growth. • The needs of Ward 4 residents having always lived and worked here. , • How to work cooperatively with school boards and athletic associations to fully utilize our community facilities. • Community safety is important to all citizens and will encourage increased " involvement of our excellent police force. . > • Open communication of all residents is important. Gord Robinson is energetic, enthusiastic and eager to serve as your key to accountable representation. For Local Council Ward 4, vote to elect Gord Robinson