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QrOno Weekly Times, Wednesday. November 15, 2000 The Peter Principle by Peter Jaworski Are you following the American election fiasco? You should. This is going to go down in history as one of the most mysterious, exciting, exciting, and frustrating elections ever. As it stands, the result is still not decided. It rests in the hands of the citizens of the warm and bubbling-over- with-seniors city of West Palm Beach, Florida. Let's go through the drama: First, Florida, with its 25 electoral college votes, went to the Democrats. 'Suspicious' of the results, the media pulled Florida back into*the 'too close to call' category. category. Later it went to the Grand Old Party, this was at about two in the morning, and, in another twist, it was pulled again to the 'too close to call' category at about four in the morning. That was Tuesday of last week. A week later, they still have no clue about which way the home state of Mickey Mouse will go. But they're certain.that Goofy is one way to describe it. So now the courts get involved. Law suits are being filed all over the place with the most recent one being the five o'clock deadline set by ,the GOP in Florida for deciding deciding the Presidential election. That's supposed to be tomorrow tomorrow (at the time of my writing writing this), that's yesterday for you reading this. The Gore camp doesn't think this is fair, and neither do I, so they're taking the matter to court. Right now CNN says », Bush leads Gore in Florida by a paltry 388 votes with the overseas votes not yet all accounted for. There's something something like thirty thousand votes somewhere out there and, most folks assume, they ; re going to go to Bush. Apparently thesè are mostly military-related type of folks, and, as we all know, military folks like the Republicans. Or, rather, they dislike the Democrats more. How about those third parties? Good question. In Florida, the ballot was so very confusing that some voters voters claim they accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan, Reform Party candidate, instead of for Al Gore. This would explain his wonderful showing in that State and might account for a signifi cant percentage of the total 470 some-odd million votes he received across the States. Ralph Nader, Green Party candidate, concluded with 2.6 million votes, well shy of the five per cent necessary to get the $12 million dollar election assist, from the government government for the next race. In some States, Nader was a significant significant enough factor to allow Bush to squeak by Gore (Nader voters are typically typically 'closer to Gore's Democrats than to Bush's Republicans). Asked about whether he's happy about this, Nader keeps insisting that the Democrats and the Republicans are pretty much one and the same kind of party in terms of policy so it really doesn't matter. My own personal choice were I an American, Harry Browne of the Libertarian Party, fared relatively well, He managed to get somewhere somewhere in the vicinity of 380 thousand votes. In the House race, however, the Libertarians got a resounding 1.64 million votes, the highest highest cumulative total ever for any third party Congressional race. It's up in the air. Either the States get the technocratic Al Gor,e, or the "I was young and foolish so you shouldn't count that Drinking Under the Influence ticket I got (or • the cocaine I snorted)," George W. Bush. What's that mean? Well, the former will certainly sit down at his computer computer (having invented the internet and all) and pass all manner *of new-and- improved regulations for how Americans should live their lives (I imagine he'll get a panel of experts to figure out which leg you should put into your pants first to increase efficiency and safety and pass legislation to that effect). And the latter will get a bottle of hooch, sit down with his drinking buddies and figure out a new batch of laws and regulations that will prove, , once and for all, that he's not just the son of a former president, president, dammit! In other words, don't expect much to change at all. RECYCLE SUBSCRIBE TO THE ORONO WEEKLY TIMES $25.00 a year. V FIVE HEARTS J ) Brigitte Brown Fedicu re s/M anicu rc ;s v M ^ *** Waxing Nail Extensions Gift Ear Candling Eyelash Tinting Air Brushing ESTHETIC STUDIO Certificates Available • Electronic Muscle Stimulate (EMS) 1 • Paraffin Wax 15% DISCOUNT with coupon 171 Mill Street, Orono, ON LOB 1M() • (905) 983-8169 The Municipality of Clarington, (population 65,000) offers an exciting and challenging opportunity for a dynamic individual in this unique and vibrant community situated within the scenic charm of the rolling countryside east of Toronto. Reporting to the Director of-Community Services, the Arena Manager will be responsible for all phases of arena management. This will include budget preparation, implementation, scheduling and control of the day to day maintenance of municipally operated arenas and the multi purpose facility. Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: • Prepare and implement capital and cürrént budgets related to the operation of municipal arenas, and the multi purpose facility. • Receive, record, balance and deposit collected reve'nue. • Prepare and implement related employee work schedules. • Observe and comply with all respective legislation, regulations and Code, especially the Building Code and the Occupational Health and Safety Act and pressure Vessels Act as it affects the operation and management of the arenas and related facilities. • Schedule usage of muhicipally operated arenas.and the multi purpose room. • Liaise with and assist local volunteer sport and recreation organizations. •, Prepare and maintain records and reports as they relate to the arena operations and liaison responsibilities. • Hire, supervise, train, evaluate and discipline all related full-time and part-time staff • Supervise and operate complete arena concession services. We are seeking a candidate who possesses excellent management,'interpersonal management,'interpersonal and motivational skills as well as the capability of working in a team- oriented environment. The successful candidate will be a graduate from a recognized post secondary institution with Arena Management/Recreation accreditation accreditation and "B" Refrigeration Certification. A minimum of 3-5 years of related experience experience in a supervisory and/or administrative capacity. The applicant should possess a working knowledge of Microsoft Office and computer-based applications such as Escom CLASS as well as Human Resources experience and training. Salary: . The salary range for this position is $48,747. - $59,951. (2000. rate) Interested candidates are requested to submit a resume by Friday, November 24, 2000 by e-mail at HYPERLINK "mailto:cao@municipality.clarington.on.ca" cao@municipality.clarington.on.ca or to: Chief Administrative Officer Municipality of Cjarington 40 Temperance Street Bowmanville, Ontario L1C 3A6 - Please Quote File: #31-00 All applications will be held in strict confidence. Information contained in your application will be used only for employment assessment purposes. Only those selected for.an interview will be contacted. & MUNICIPALITY OF arinqton ONTARIO date of publication: Nov. 15, 20,00 p.o.# 6416