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ovono Weekly Times, Wednesday, January Id, 2002 Where in the world? Guides Maiy Broome (L) and Charmaine Watson (R) had to find the location of the Guide's four world centers at their group meeting Monday evening at the Orono Town Hall ■ ;filH a H h Keep it Arthur Black Our lives are frittered away by detail... .Simplify, simplify. Henry David Thoreau Easy enough for a guy who lived in a hut by a pond a century century and a half ago to say. 'I say, Hank, thou shouldst be living at THIS hour of cell phones, NASDACS, satellite dishes, 'smart' bombs, computer computer menus and eight-lane highways. highways. The human race has never been further removed from 'simple'. And it's not just technology. My life is cluttered with things*' I don't have a hope of ever understanding. Things like: my income tax form. The pouring spout on a Tefra Pak. The popularity of The Spice Girls. Anything ever uttered by deputy Prime Minister, Herb Gray. (Not to mention da liddle guy from Shawinigan, lui-meme). Which brings us to our home and native tongue. English has got to be the most baffling aggregation of poly- syllables ever unleashed on the human eye and ear. We drive on parkways; park on driveways. The third hand on a wrist- watch is calldd the se'cond, hand. 'Slow down' and 'slow up' mean exactly the same thing - but my house can 'bum up' as it 'bums down'. After which I complete the insurance claim process by filling it OUT and mailing in IN. , There's lots 1 don't understand understand in the English language - such as why it's good to be a 'wise man' but bad to be a 'wise guy'- / Why we have boxers who fight in , 'rings' which are 'square' - but we eat 'square' meals off plates which are round. Why teachers teach and preachers preach, and teachers taught'*- but preachers never praught. 'Why bra is singular but panties are plural. So many confusions - and logical reasoning is no help at all. But perhaps that's because we've forgotten how to be logical. logical. Let me leave you with a very, simple, straightforward series of four questions. Read them, think about it for a few moments, and then answer as best you can. 1: How do ypu put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.. 2: How do you put an elephant elephant into a refrigerator? The wrong answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant elephant and close the door. Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your ability to think through previous mistakes. 3: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct answer: the elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. refrigerator. This question tests your short-term memory. 4: There is a river you must cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles. How do you do it? The correct answer is: you wade or swim across. All the croçodiles are attending the animal meeting, remember? This question tests whether you learn from mistakes. mistakes. Didn't do too well on the quiz? Don't feel bad. This questionnaire was given to several hundred business professionals professionals by a firm called Anderson Consulting World Wide. They report that 90 percent percent of the biz pros got ALL the questions wrong. On the other hand, Anderson Consulting gave the same questionnaire to another group and reported that they averaged 50 to 75 percent correct correct answers. The successful group? Pre- , school children. Anderson Consulting claims the study proves most professionals have the brains of a four-year- old. I maintain that it proves how smart we all are before we get educated. Thursday, January 17th - ClarihgtOn's Christian Women's Club, monthly meeting, 7:30 - 9:30 p.m. àt Clarington Beech Centre, 26 Beech Ave., Bowmanville. Tea, coffee and dessert $5.00. Inspirational Speaker. Call Marg for reservations 905- 434-2745. Monday, January 21st - Hearth Place Cancer Support Centre offers A Gynecological Cancer Support Group for women with Ovarian, Cervical and Uterine cancer at 86 Colbome St. W„ Oshawa from 7 - 8:30 p.m. Call 905-579- 4833 to register. ■ Saturday, January 26th- OPP Bear Hug Band, Musical Concert, Clarington Beech Centre, 26 Beech Ave., Bowmanville, 7:30 p.m. Refreshments will be provided. Tickets $12.00, available at door. Call 905*697-2856. al Beavcree in Kendal on Saturday, February 2, 2001. There is going to be about 300 Beavers taking over the Community Centre that day. Hopefully they will get some snow for all of their outside events. We are currently planning events for 2002. If you have any fundraising ideas or an idea for something for the kids to do we are looking for your ideas. Call the Community Centre and leave your name. We have scheduled Kendal Day 2002 for Saturday, July 20, 2002. Mark this day on your calendars now so that everyone can attend. The Kendal Community Centre is always looking for volunteers to help with events or to join one of our committees. committees. The Centre is for the entire community, so show your support and come out, volunteer and enjoy our facility. facility. Our next Board meeting is on Wednesday, February 6, at 7:30 pm if anyone is interested in coming out. For more information on upcoming events or for rental information information call 905-983-5204. Janine deBoer Centre News Hopefully everyone had a great New Years. Our New Year's Eve dance ; was a great success., Everyone who attended had fun and it was nice to be able to ring in the new year with all our friends and neighbours. Special thanks to Doc" Holliday and Darrin Allin, fof providing the entertainment, to Sheila Hannah for organizing the food, to Gary and Dianne Therteil for bartending and to Steve deBoer for being the DJ. Thanks also to everyone else who helped out. ; * Our next Euchre night will be Thursday, January 31 at 7:00. Hopefully the weather will co-operate this time and we can 'get a better turnout. The cost is $5.00 per person. The next Yoüth Dance will be held on Friday, January 25, 2001 from 7:00 pm until 9:30 pm. The cost is $5.00. If any parents are interested in chaperoning chaperoning your help is always appreciated: Pine Ridge Scouting is going to be holding their annu- SUBSCRIBE TO THE TIMES for only $30.00 a year. RECYCLE ' A i ~Tfl! MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. SERVING DURHAM REGION SINCE 1841 all funeral services PREARRANGED AND/OR PREPAID • BURIAL - CREMATION - TRANSFERS * "WHERE PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE IS IMPORTANT" * . , EUNf'rAL DIRECTORS PAUL R. MORRIS DOUG R. RUTHERFORD 6Z3-5480 A DIVISION ST.. BOWMANVILLE - AT QUEEN ST. GARY M. CONWAY DEBRA D. KELLEHER