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Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, October 23,2002 Basic Black by Arthur Black The high cost of being famous "I get between two thousand and five thousand fan letters a month and we answer them all. Being famous runs me to about $25,000 a year in stamps, coloured photos and a secretary to answer it all." So spake Wayne Gretzky at the height of his . hockey celebrity a few years ago. Sounds like a set of problems a lot of us would like to have, but maybe not. Oh, yeah - celebrities get the red carpet treatment - the best tables in restaurants, free limo rides, adoring fans - but there's a down side to being a household name, too. Much of the front page of a recent edition of the Vancouver Sun was taken up by a photo of a pudgy, bespectacled, slightly cranky-looking middle-aged white man with orange hair shuffling down a city street. The photo was in full-colour and splashed across three columns. Must be a pretty significant significant news stoiy, I thought. A visiting Prime Minister, perhaps? perhaps? A U.N. dignitary? A Mafia kingpin on his way to trial? No, the photo caption reveals that it is only Elton John, the pop singer. And he's shopping in downtown Vancouver. The news story below the photo emphasizes that all the investigative resources of the Vancouver Sun were unable to ascertain exactly what Mister John purchased during his ten- minute downtown walkabout, but that "we do know that he made a purchase, thanks to an alert BC-CTV cameraman, who was able to run from his office and record the star getting getting into a dark-coloured van. A bodyguard had a bag of purchases." purchases." This non-story proves the world has already absorbed and digested the horrors of September 11. We're back to our usual fatuous pursuits - including the cult of celebrity. Strange phenomenon, celebrity worship. Used to be confined to the high-bom, the desperado and the filthy rich. The Brits cut the dotty and dysfunctional dysfunctional Windsors all kinds of slack because they cariy 'royal' blood in their veins. Common folk revered Robin Hood because he gave handouts handouts to the poor. People deferred to the Morgans and the Rockefellers because they hemorrhaged greenbacks wherever wherever they went. Today, we're less choosy. We make celebrities of potty- mouth rappers, anorexic teenage clothes horses and seven-foot freaks in baggy shorts whose only talent is stuffing a ball through a hoop. Andy Warhol was wrong - people aren't famous for fifteen minutes; they're famous forever. forever. Somewhat. Adam West was the actor who portrayed Batman on TV a million years ago. He's still out there, in cape and mask, opening shopping malls and making guest appearances appearances at plumbers' conventions. Ozzy Osbourne used to be a rock star. Now, he's a clapped out, drug-raddled mumbler with about eleven functioning brain cells, but that's alright - he's a celebrity, so he gets his own TV show. Celebrities get the trappings, but they also get trapped in a Klieg-lit time capsule. Wayne Gretzky is always going to have to talk about hockey. Ozzy Osbourne will always be a petrified Rock Star. Nobody is ever going to ask Adam West to audition for the part of Hamlet. Dini Petty is a Canadian P MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. SERVING DURHAM REGION SINCE 1841 ALL FUNERAL SERVICES PREARRANGED AND/OR PREPAID BURIAL - CREMATION - TRANSFERS "WHERE PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE IS IMPORTANT" FUNERAL DIRECTORS PAULR. MORRIS DOUG R. RUTHERFORD GARY M. CONWAY DEBRA D. KELLEHER 623-5480 A DIVISION ST.. BOWMANVILLE ■ AT QUEEN ST. m who has known the mantle of celebrity. She started off in the media game by hitching a ride in a helicopter to do radio traffic reports over the streets of Toronto and wound up with her own daily TV show. Does she like being famous? "I don't think fame is worth a tinkers dam because it's veiy intrusive and the more you have the more intrusive it is. If I had to do it all over again, I'd rather just be rich." Which takes me back to that newspaper photo I started out talking about - the one of a dyspeptic-looking dyspeptic-looking Elton John walking down a Vancouver street. Only now I'm looking at the photograph from his point of view - a guy who's just trying to go out on a simple shopping expedition -- and here's this idiot television cameraman cantering along beside him with a Sony Portacam on his shoulder, grinding away. He's Elton John. He's got enough money to buy a six- pack of castles in Spain. There's scarcely a door in any city in the world that he wouldn't wouldn't be welcomed at and fawned over. But he can't walk down the street and buy a couple of CD's or a pair of socks in peace. No wonder he looks so cranky. John O'Toole Continued from page 5 doing their jobs. 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EXPO '02 It's an Open House with a difference! ■ Explore booths and displays featuring updates on the Port Hope Area Initiative; ■ Look over exhibits by a variety of stakeholders including the municipalities of Port Hope and Clarington, Port Hope Chamber of Commerce, Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission, Durham Nuclear Health Committee, Community Awareness Emergency Response and more; ■ Ask questions face-to-face with the people working on the projects; ■ Comment on the Port Hope and Port Granby long-term low-level radioactive waste management projects; and ■ View the Port Hope Area Initiative video, featuring area residents and business people. Drop in... Friday, November 1, 2002: 6:00 to 9:30 p.m. Saturday, November 2, 2002: 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. At... Port Hope Legion, 99 Toronto Road, Port Hope (see map below) ADMISSION IS FREE EXHIBITION SPACE IS STILL AVAILABLE AT NO CHARGE For information, call 905-885-0291 or toll-free 1-866-255-2755 or visit the Project Information Exchange. 110 Walton Street, Port Hope Pour information en français: 613-998-9442 Welcome Exit 461 PORT HOPE 401 Port Hope Legion 99 Toronto Road Hklout Si. Will ton St, Downtown Port Hope Low-level Radioactive Waste Management Office 1*1 Nulurnl Cunmlii noBourcm Rosioutcub rmturollo» ÆSf (jATlAflzï Cun, nia !»•.*< tiCdMW'M ÂCAx^ICA