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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday. July 14, 2004 Basic Black by Arthur Black v (pt ^ tA& lûAt UM¥ld Are vou reedy for the new golf? Do you believe in miracles? w * t t onno ri/M-PAn their 66th wedding anniver- Let me declare my bias right from the tee-off: I do not golf. I have never golfed. I never intend to take up golf. My reasons are several: for one thing, golf is too expensive. expensive. Secondly, I have little inclination to dress up like a pimp. And third, I've got much better ways of spending a sunny summer afternoon than humping around a manicured manicured lawn trying to push a ball into a hole with a stick. Besides, golf is too... stuffy. There's the polyester- heavy dress code, for starters. Then there's that fake-jock locker room banter to endure and all the correct procedures to observe when you're out on the course. The score cards, the dinky gloves, the dorky shoes - it's all 'way too much like Boy Scouts. Mind you, that may be changing. That would seem to be the lesson to be learned from the first annual Shoreditch Urban Open Tournament held recently in England. You read it right - "urban". At the Shoreditch Open, the players (there were 64 of them) swatted golf balls through the streets of a chi chi section of London. Naturally, certain...adjustments certain...adjustments have to be made to play golf downtown. The Shore ditch Open organizers persuaded persuaded the City Fathers to temporarily close off several streets to traffic. The mechanics mechanics of the game changed too. Urban golf balls are cotton- stuffed leather orbs. They travel only about half as fast and half as far as your Spalding Three-dot, but there's no chance of them shattering a window. Newspaper kiosks, storm drains, lampposts and fire hydrants substitute for the usual water hazards, sand traps and rough. The Shoreditch Open didn't didn't throw the entire rulebook out the window. Players were required, to use regulation clubs. Any shot that landed on 'private property' was ruled out of bounds. Any player who hit a telephone wire with his drive had to replay the shot without penalty. The object of Urban Golf? To have fun - which makes it pretty much the polar opposite of traditional golf. The winner winner was a duffer who answers to 'Tuna' and came in at 19 over par. Shoreditch organizer Jeremy Jeremy Feakes explains his motivation: motivation: "I didn't like all the rules and attitude involved with proper golf, but I like Urban Golf because it's all about being playful." John Dean would no doubt SPECIAL Nail Set with Air Brush s 25 Brigitte Brown • Waxing • Nail Extensions • Air Brushing • Eyelash Tinting • Paraffin Wax • Pedicures & Manicures Gift Certificates Available ESTHETIC STUDIO 15% DISCOUNTERS? 171 Mill Street, Orono, ON LOB 1M0 • 905-983-8169 agree. Dean's the publisher of a brand new magazine called Golf Punk. "It's the golf magazine magazine for the rest of us," he explains. The magazine is dedicated to turning the traditional traditional game inside out. Looks like the game of golf is changing faster than Randy White's political fortunes-- and on more fronts than one. There was a tiny item on the sports pages last week about David Morris. Mister Morris is a professional British golfer who's been accused of cheating. cheating. The man's crime? Seeing. David Morris is the reigning world blind golf champion. His detractors are suggesting that he's not blind at all. The amazing part of this story to me is not the possible peccadilloes of David Morris, champion blind golfer. It's that there exists such a thing as a Blind Golf Championship. Blind golf???? Who knew? Not me--and not my pal Eddie either, apparently. Eddie tramped into a Chicago clubhouse recently and discovered discovered Stevie Wonder sitting on a bench, his white cane on one side of him and a bag of golf clubs on the other. "You a member here, Stevie?" "Oh, yeah," replies Stevie, "I try to get in at least 18 holes a week." "Oh," says Eddie. "So what's your, urn, handicap?" "Actually, I'm a scratch golfer," says Stevie. "I only play for money. Thousand bucks a hole, minimum." By this time, Eddie's rubbing rubbing his hands together (A blind guy! A thousand dollars a hole!) "Ahhhh, Stevie," he says, "any chance you'd play a round with me?" "Sure," says Stevie. "Just pick a night." In June 2002, Doreen Pollard of England wrote to the Mayor of Newtonville requesting a birthday card from there for her mother's 90th in August. Her mother Amelia Honeywell was bom in Canada, lived at Newtonville CPR station and returned to England with her family when she was twelve. Not , the mayor of Newtonville, but Councillor Charlie Trim took pictures of interest and kindly sent them to Doreen for her mother's birthday. Since my mother Marjorie (Selby) Powell taught Amelia at Port Granby school, I also sent a card and letter. Both daughter and parents parents sent great letters of appreciation. appreciation. One day at my childhood home on the farm, I picked up a photograph album of my mothers. Out fell a postcard picture of a beautiful girl. Fortunately on the back in my mother's handwriting was "Millie Honeywell, Anglican Church Choir." Father was CPR foreman at Newtonville, a pupil at Port Granby school. I was thrilled! A copy of that picture was sent to daughter Doreen. She took it to a photographer who made an 8"xl0" reprint and put it in an oval frame. Doreen presented it to her parents on Clarington Leading the Way L-/ CORPORATION OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON COMMUNITY NOTICE www.munlclpallty.clarlngton.on.ca COMING EVENTS . 2004 Orono Summer Concert Series - Library Gazebo 7:00 PM bring your own lawnchair- Desserts & Refreshments available O Criûrtrlc Wed, July 14 Wed, July 21 Wed, July 28 Thur, July 29 Wed, Aug 4 San Murata & Friends Wildwing Flute Choir Hamstrings String Quartet Thneed (Rock Night) Clarington Concert Band Jason Aiden McGill (Country) Kendal Day July 24 @ the Kendal Community Centre 11:30 AM - Bike parade, pony rides, pig roast, games and entertainment all day and into the night. Car Show!!! their 66th wedding anniversary anniversary on June 11th. This was part of Amelia's reply in a letter to me, written June 20th. "Both Doreen and I cried buckets together. Thank you so much. I did have a large framed portrait which we brought home from Canada all those years ago, but during the war in 1940 our house was "blitzed" and we were in temporary housing for three years with all our furniture in storage. Unfortunately it was among several items that went missing. missing. But now for the best part.. It was our wedding anniversary anniversary in the month and of course we had a little celebration, celebration, and for a special surprise surprise Doreen had been to a professional photographer and had my photo enlarged and put in a lovely oval frame. Now a proud 91 year old Amelia has a beautifitl 12 year old Amelia on our dining room wall. Thank you once again. Your letter of2002 is still a treasured possession with its old story of Newtonville and is always read from time to time. With all good wishes for the future. Much love, Amelia" Do you believe in miracles? miracles? I do now! Hazel Crago, Newcastle