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ilüliliP 8 - Orono Weekly Urnes Wednesday. May 25, 2005 Basic Black by Arthur Black Do you want ice with that ^ A 44 1 1 A. XI/ She was big. Awfully big. Nearly 900 feet long and 100 feet across. Heavy, too - more than 46,000 tons. And moving moving full steam ahead through the night. Unfortunately, the object she struck was even bigger -- scientists reckon between 150,000 and 300,000 tons - and it was dead in the water. The Irresistible Force and the Immovable Object were only in contact contact for about 12 sec onds, but it was long enough to fatally cripple the former and send it corkscrewing to the bottom bottom of the sea. Such was the brute majesty of that anonymous anonymous iceberg drifting in the north Atlantic some 450 miles off the coast of Newfoundland on that April night ini912. The greatest triumph of British technology, the biggest ship ever built, the unsinkable Titanic--destroyed Titanic--destroyed along than 1500 with more souls. By a colossal chunk of ice. Mind you, that's nothing compared to what the iceberg did to the city of Belfast. That's where the Titanic was bom, in the famous Harland & Wolff shipyards. She was the pride not just of Harland & Wolff but of the entire city. It took two years and the sweat of nearly 15,000 yard workers to float the Titanic. It took just a few frantic hours to wipe all traces of her from the face of the earth. When word filtered back of the disastrous maiden voyage the entire city was stricken. Belfast went into an economic death spiral that would take her from being one of the busiest shipbuilding centres in the world to a depressed and emotionally frozen backwater. The shock was so great that for decades, even to mention mention the word 'Titanic' would get you fired and blacklisted at any shipyard shipyard in town. Nearly a century later, Belfast still hasn't recovered, but psychological psychological assistance is on the way. 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She figures figures the city's problem is that it suffers from a massive case of group cryophobia - fear of ice. One of the best ways to conquer fear is to confront confront it. People who fear flying get into planes, discover that it doesn't kill them, and the fear dissipates. Gephyro- phobics learn that they can, in fact, cross bridges and survive. Rita Duffy figures the same thing should work for a city full of cryophobics. Show them a little ice and they'll get over it. Well... not exactly a little ice - a lot of ice. Rita Duffy plans to hogtie an iceberg and tow it to Belfast. "A huge mountain of ice seems to be the most eloquent way of describing where we are," she says. "There is a certain type of madness madness in Northern Ireland society, a denial of what has happened to us." She plans to select an iceberg off Greenland and toW it down the old Viking sea lane, symbolizing symbolizing the trek of the early people who first settled Northern Ireland. As it passes the islands of the west coast of Scotland, the iceberg will be illuminated. Ultimately it will be anchored at a spot close to shore and clearly visible visible to all the citizens of Belfast. And everyone will watch it melt. "The iceberg is a figure figure of fear," says Duffy. "I hope its melting will have a cathartic effect. Ice is the alchemic Dave Chatterton Orono, Ontario opposite of the fire of ; hatred and sectarianism, mistrust and dislike that has burned here for too long." Is she serious? Or have leprechauns sprinkled sprinkled her Guinness with pixie dust? She's dead serious. She's already been to Newfoundland to 'inspect' 'inspect' icebergs and investigate the mechanics mechanics of moving an ice cube the size of the Pyramid of Cheops. And she has some powerful powerful people pulling for her. The mayor of Belfast is on side, as are many Northern Irish academics and business people. Rita Duffy reckons reckons she'll have the necessary necessary money and technical technical expertise within three years. And while Ms. Duffy and her colleagues are trying to attract an iceberg, iceberg, Swiss scientists are trying to prevent theirs from leaving. Well. . landlocked icebergs. Thanks to the global warming that George Bush says isn't happening, Switzerland's Switzerland's Alpine glaciers are melting away faster than a politician's promise. The scientists' scientists' solution? Wrap the glaciers in aluminum aluminum foil to deflect the suns rays and keep them cool. And no, I am not making this up. They plan to cover about 30,000 square feet of the Upper Gurschen glacier later this month as a kind of test run. Lassoed icebergs...• foil-wrapped glaciers... You can't say we don't live in interesti ig times. DON'T LET YOUR DREA GO UP IN SMOKE. 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