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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, July 20, 2005 Basic Black by Arthur Black Seemed like a good idea at the time An idea isn't responsible responsible for the people who believe in it. Don Marquis Sometimes I've believed believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Lewis Carroll The older I get, the more I realize that most of life is really quite black and white. Except when it's off-white. Or pearl gray. Or ivory, charcoal, ecru, ebony or milky. The truth is, the older I get the more I realize that everything I thought was rock solid and intransmutable ain't necessarily necessarily so. Take water. The very essence of life, right? Can't get enough water. That's why you see young trendies lugging around plastic bottles of Evian and Dasani as if they were fixing to cross the Kalahari, even when they're only going shopping shopping at the mall. Stands to reason. Experts have been telling us for years that we need to drink seven tall glasses of water every day. Or is it twelve? According to a recent American medical study, the correct answer is less--a lot less. In fact, according to Dr. Marvin Adner who headed up the study, we're all drinking 'way too much water--especially the healthy, athletic types among us. The, study looked at nearly 500 marathon runners and discovered that many of them are downing so much water they are diluting their blood-- with potentially fatal results. Gulping too much water can cause a condition called hyponatremia --critically --critically low blood-sodium levels. If the levels get too low it means brain damage and eventually death. Then there's the sun. Ever since human bungling led to holes in the ozone layer, experts have been warning us about UV indexes and the importance of slathering great gobs of sunblock all over our carcasses before we venture venture outdoors. Well, not all experts. Some of them are now arguing that we need MORE unscreened sunlight sunlight in our lives. Doctor Michael Holick of the Boston University School of Medicine has just published a book extolling the virtues of Classified Business Directory " ' "■ This space won't last for. long... only $7.09 per week for one year! Call now to book 905-983-5301 LARRY JACKSON PLUMBING & WATER CONDITIONING • Pump Repairs & Installation • UV Lights • Water Softeners • Free Estimates For Frhndfy, Expert Service CaM 905-983-6214 Fine Finishes by T. Osmond COMPLETE Furniture Repair and Restoration Caning • Veneering • Carving French Polishes & Wicker Repair 905-786-2477 Experience You Can Tiust iiiHlIilillilillllSilliiiliiiiWiniffilSift " 11 iiif Ahv ; IS ifi IS !pi GRUNDY'S COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY 3375 Cone. Rd. 7 (905) 983-9874 www.grundysupholstery.com BRYON GRUNDY STÛFP1I minor a. |. "We're here to serve you" ROBERT E. 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CHATTERTON ELECTRIC RESIDENTIAL • COMMERCIAL • INDUSTRIAL POLE LINE CONSTRUCTION Dave Chatterton Orono, Ontario Tel: 906-983-6646 If no answer: 906-983-8940 unprotected sunbathing. He argues that it boosts levels of Vitamin D in the skin. Orthodox dermatologists dermatologists are predictably predictably outraged, but an organization called The Vitamin D Council is backing Dr. Holick, saying saying ifs time to re-think our solar attitudes. Who ya gonna believe? believe? And Mr. Hughes, if you're reading this, I want you to know that you were wrong too. Mr. Hughes was My Grade 5 teacher. He lurked over me and my classmates for one entire, horrible school year and once fetched me a crack across the knuckles with his ruler just because I dozed off for a few seconds seconds during one of his interminable droning lectures. Naps are good things, you pontificating sadist! In fact, you'd have been better off catching a few winks instead of terrorizing terrorizing your charges. According to a study published in the American American Geriatrics Society Journal, people--older adults particularly--are . mentally sharper if they nod off for an hour or so in the early afternoon. Spaniards with their siestas figured this out about 500 years ago, but North Americans are slow learners. And now it seems that computers, commonly commonly touted as the greatest human innovation innovation since fire, the wheel and the dashboard coffee cup holder, may in fact be hazardous to our health. Particularly if you're a male laptop user. Turns out that laptops laptops are hazardous to our, er, laps. Genital scorching is what we're talking about, men. Lancet, the British medical journal has reported a case in which a laptop-tapping patient suffered bums to his penis and scrotum, caused, apparently, by the machine in his lap. Scientists did some research and found that as portable machines go, laptop computers are indeed hot potatoes, often generating surface temperatures in excess of 40 degrees Celsius. Add to that the internal body temperature generated generated by squeezing your thighs together to hold the laptop steady--and that makes it mighty toasty for The Boys. Dangerously toasty? Could be. Scientists say that a temperature increase increase of just one degree Celsius in the scrotum can reduce sperm production production by 40 percent. Dr. Marc Goldstein, a fertility expert at Cornell University says: "It makes perfect sense, but no one had thought about the fertility effect of a hot computer on your lap." So to sum up: Laptops: bad. Naps: good. Water: bad. Sunshine: good. Can't wait 'til someone someone comes out with a study showing that eating eating grease, chugalug- ging rum and chain smoking Marlboros makes you smarter and better-looking. Ifs only a matter of time. Firefighter from the Orono detachment putting out a grata fire on Vlcker'e Roed lest Friday afternoon. afternoon.