Clarington Digital Newspaper Collections

Orono Weekly Times, 5 Oct 2005, p. 8

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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, October 5, 2005 Basic Black by Arthur Black No spam, thank you mam Just a few short years ago it was a non-terribly chic luncheon meat. Or at best a song from a Monty Python skit. Today it is a global migraine. Amega-gazil- lion-dollar ripoff scam and a mammoth pain in the in-box for computer users everywhere. I speak, but of course, of spam. In case you've been living under a laundry hamper for the past dozen or so years, let me explain: spam is junk e- mail. The black fly of on-line, activity. Mass blitzkrieg advertising of crap that nobody asked for and nobody wants but everybody finds in their YOU'VE GOT MAIL slot virtually every time they fire up their desktop or laptop. Why does spam advertising work? For the same reason that fishing with hand grenades works. You lob enough explosives into the lake and something something will float to the surface. ' Similarly, if you blanket e-mail several several hundred thousand . unsuspecting recipients, a profitable few will be stupid . enough to respond no matter how moronic the pitch. Just how dumb can people be? Hey. Who's president of the United States? . There are ways to combat spammers. The internet abounds with anti-spam software - much of it free - which will intercept the spam spewing swine and deflect their unwanted missives into deepest cyberspace. But spammers alas, are endlessly creative. Close one rathole and they gnaw themselves another. I, for instance, am well protected from on-line spammers. But now the beggars are coming through my fax machine. One in particular. It calls itself The Travel Centre and it offers me, at least three times a week, Fantastic Bargains Bargains on cruises to Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale and Bahamas. I do not wish to cruise to any of the above-mentioned destinations. Even if I did, I certainly would not do it through a company company that besieges me with un-asked-for come- ons and uses up my fax paper. Happily there is a number at the bottom of their advertisement that you can call to be removed from their Classified Business Directory This space won't last for long... only $7.09 per week for one year! Call now to book 905-983-5301 Fine Finishes by T. Osmond COMPLETE Furniture Repair and Restoration Caning • Veneering • Carving French Polishes & Wicker Repair 905-786-2477 Experience Yon Can Trust GRUNDY'S COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY 3375 Cone. Rd.7 (905) 983-9874 www.grundysuphblstery.com BRYON GRUNDY •TO F t el ŒBH33- LARRY JACKSON PLUMBING & WATER CONDITIONING • Rump Repairs & Installation • UV Lights • Water Softeners • Free Estimates For Friendly, Expert Service Cell 905-983-6214 Pro Painting Why Wait.. Book your summer work now! ~ Excellent Rates - 905-983-5761 Clifford Francis Ah'v v'Y./ Wre here to serve you" ROBERT E. JACKSON Heating • Electrical Air Conditioning Authorized Consumers Gas Dealer Independent Lennox Dealer Furnaces • Air Conditioners and Appliances Main Street Orono 963-6221 Orono Town Hall "A beautiful heritage halF The perfect venue for your family or corporate gathering Call 905-983-5903 or 905-983-5230 to book your event Complete Residential Renovations, Additions and New Structures Windows • Soffit • Interlocking Waterproofing • Doors • Roofing Ceramic Tile • Siding Eavestroughing • Chimney Repair - Specializing in Stone Facing ~ FREE ESTIMATES Call Mike Bonneau Mobile: 905-435-4181 Home: 905-983-9005 6495 Leskard Rd., Orono LOB 1M0 Roll-Off Bin Service For Renovation, Clean-Up and Metals Call for prices 905-987-4741 Transfer Station Mon-Fri. 8-5»Satunday 8-12 advertising list. I called that number. Tén times. The faxes kept coming. So I phoned the main number (the one you call to sign up for a cruise). Five times: Each time an operator assured me that I was off the list and the faxes would cease. They didn't. I called a sixth time and told the woman who answered that I would never book with them because I had asked very politely 15 times to please stop the faxes. She hung up on . me. So I called the Canadian Radio and Television Commission in Ottawa. They told me that since it was an American travel company, company, I should call the Federal Communications Communications Commission in Washington. The FCC operator told me my complaint would be filed and the travel company company would be 'dealt with'. That was three weeks . I HANDY MANNS New Home Construction Renovation Reproductions Cedar Products 905-983-5633 or 5341 ■yOUWWMie Auto Wreckers and Used Cars JOE MENDONCA Manager Phone: 905-987-4636 91 Cowanville Rd., Newcastle, ON L1B 1L9 Orono Veterinary Hospital Dr. Derek de Haan Dr. Mathew Stephenson 30 Cobbledick St„ Orono LOB 1M0 Tei: 905-983-9010 Fax: 905-983-5308 SKILL-TECH Renovations Since 1983 905-431-6604 • Expert HtM'iiv;:t 'irv; • Wii ivk:v/:, & Doom? • Rays X Rmvs • Cutouts Uui Specialty I ft T Carpenters • Licensed • 27 Years Experience • Custom Homes • General Contracting • Additions • House Trim • Stairs • Decks •Windows «Doors • Barns And all carpentry- related work. IVAN JONES TONY FANARA Orono 905-983-5303 Hampton 905-263-9988 E e S ë V-, Ml ■L» CHATTERTON ELECTRIC RESIDENTIAL • COMMERCIAL • INDUSTRIAL POLE LINE CONSTRUCTION Mister Kushnir is dead. Bludgeoned to death in his Moscow apartment by persons unknown. ; Do the police have any suspects? Yes, several million of them. Vardan Kushnir was Russia's most notorious spammer, spammer, believed to have clogged the in-box of nearly every Russian who had an e-mail account. Kushnir was killed after someone posted his home address on the Web, and Russian newspapers reacted with undisguised glee. The spammer had it coming read one headline. And another: An Ultimate Solution To The Spam Problem. I wouldn't want to see anything that gruesome happen to spammers in this part of the world, but I wouldn't object if our research labs started using spammers in place of laboratory rats. It's a natural when you think about it. Research scientists sometimes get too ago. While waiting for the FCC to act I have received eleven faxes from the travel company. company. It's too bad the Travel Center is located in Florida and not Russia. They know how to han- ? die spammers in Russia - ask Vardan Kushnir. Oh, sorry, you can't. attached to laboratory rats. That wouldn't happen happen with spammers. PETA would have no objections if animal experimentation was conducted exclusively on spammers. Besides. There are certain things a rat just won't do. 19th Annual Soper Valley Railway Show Clarington Beech Centre 26 Beech Ave„ Bowmanville |l;| Modern Facility Historical Setting Weddings, Banquets, Meetings I I (30 to 250 people) ■ * Self-catering kitchen. 905-697-2856 This year's show consists of approximately approximately 20 operating layouts from all over central Ontario, static displays, craftsman's comer with modeling displays and approximately 70 railroad railroad sales tables with new and used articles. If you are looking for bargains or wish to see and learn what the hobby of model railroading railroading is all about, be sure to visit the Soper Valley Model Railroad Club's show at Bowmanville High School, 49 Liberty St. N., Bowmanville, on October 15 and 16, 2005. The show opens at 10 a.m. and runs to 4:30 p.m. on Saturday, October 15 and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday, October 16. There is an admission admission charge of $5 for adults; $4 Seniors; and $10 for a family. A great hobby that promotes fellowship among persons having a common interest in any phase of the hobby or prototype railroading. Our objective is to promote promote the hobby and an interest in the history of model railroading in our surrounding communities. communities. v >i k H k i v I in \ l ill BE PROACTIVE Fqllow bieast-screcnlng guidelines Practise a healthy lifestyle. BE AWARE Know your body, learn the risk factor*. GET THE FACTS Call the Canadian Cancer Society to get the information you need about our Savin Slaps lo I loillK screening, early detection and protecting your breast health. Dave Chatterton Orono, Ontario Tel: 905-983-5546 If no answer: 905-983-5940

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