The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

ii - ^ 53Sr 8 - Ofono Weekly Times Wednesday. February 8,2006 Basic Black by Arthur Black What am I bid for this paperclip? It didn't have to turn out like this you know. I didn't have to wind up as , a lowly scribe pecking. out . a weekly half page of verbiage just to put a cup of tepid Nescafe and a heel of pumpernickel on the table. I had an option. I could have been fabulously rich and internationally famous. I had an idea. I even had a plan. I hatched it 'way back in primary school, while my colleagues were carving graffiti in their desks or lobbing spit- balls at each other." The teacher was droning on about Canadian history. "The current population of Canada is 15 million..." million..." he told. us. Fifteen, million, I thought. What if each and every Canadian... sent me one penny! What an idea! Brilliant Brilliant in its simplicity! Who couldn't afford to give up a cent? Even a' Mormon - polygamist with four wives, and -twenty kids would only be out a quarter! Fifteen million pennies! That would be like... $150,000! I was on my way to becoming a... a thousandaire! Alas, my clever concept concept crashed and burned aborning. I couldn't think of any way of convinc- . ing each and every Canuck to actually send me a penny. - I fell back into the ranks of unen- . lightened serfdom and wound up as the pathetic pauper/hack whose words you are reading . right now. . Not like . Kyle MacDonald. MacDonald. He had a great idea too. He wanted to .get himself a house and he was willing to swap for it. Unfortunately all he had was one red paperclip. paperclip. But did Kyle throw up his hands like I did? He did not. Instead he went on his website and announced to the world that he wanted to 'trade Up'for a house. So what would somebody give him for his red paperclip? paperclip? Two girls in Vancouver Vancouver offered him a ballpoint ballpoint pen shaped like a fish. Deal, said Kyle. Now what would somebody somebody give him for his fish-shaped pen? A door knob, said someone in Indiana. You got it, said Kyle. And the door knob begat a Coleman camp stove, which begat a one-thousand watt, portable portable generator which Kyle traded for a neon Classified Business Directory \f; •' : - " .? - I, V ■ • Ace Submarine "Nothing but the best!" 905-987-4064 3211 Hwy 35/115 * . Newcastle Mori- Fri 7am-9pm Sat/Sun 8-8 'A r- " * " Fine Finishes by T. Osmond COMPLETE Furniture Repair and Restoration Caning • Veneering • Carving French Polishes & Wicker Repair 905-786-2477 Experience You Can trust GRUNDY'S COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY 3375 Cone. Rd. 7 (905) 983-9874 www.grundysupholstery.com BRYON GRUNDY •TOPHI . ŒÉHS" LARRY JACKSON PLUMBING & WATER CONDITIONING • Pump Repairs & Installation • UV Lights • Water Softeners' • Free Estimates For Friendly, Expert Service Call 905-983-6214 Pro Painting Why Wait.. Book your winter .projects now! ~ Excellent Rates ~ 905-983-5761 Clifford Francis "We're here to serve you" ROBERTE. JACKSON Heating • Electrical Air Conditioning .Authorized Consumers Gas Dealer Independent Lennox Dealer Furnaces • Air Conditioners and Appliances Main Street Orono 983-6221 Orono Town Hall "A beautiful heritage hall" ' The perfect venue for your family or corporate gathering Call 905-983-5903 or 905-983-5230 to book your event Complete Residential Renovations, Additions and New Structures Windows • Soffit • Interlocking Waterproofing* Doors 'Roofing : . Ceramic.Tile • Siding Eavestroughing • Chimney Repair ~ Specializing In Stone Facing ~ FREE ESTIMATES Call Mike Bonneau Mobile: 905-435-4181 Home: 905-983-9005 6495 Leskard Rd., Orono LÔB1M0 Roll-Off Bin Service For Renovation, Clean-Up and Metals Call for prices 905-987-4741 Transfer Station Mon.-Fri 8-5 f Saturday 8-12 This could be your spot for only $7.37 per week! 905-983-5301 $60 Auto Wreckers and Used Cars JOE MENDONCA Manager Phone: 905-987-4636 91 Cowanville Rd., Newcastle, ON . L1B1L9 - wMcrfv. , .-!■ : * Veterinary Hospital Dr. Derek de Haan Dr. Mathew Stephenson 30 Cobbledick St., Orono L0B1M0 ■ Tel: 905-983-9010 Fax: 905-983-5308 SKILL-TECH Renovations Patio Door SALE I&T Carpenters • Licensed • 27 Years Experience • Custom Homes . • General Contracting • Additions « House Trim • Stairs • Decks •Windows «Doors • Barns And all carpentry- related work. IVAN JONES TONY FANARA Orono 905-983-5303 Hampton 905-263-9988 Debra Inglis Interior Design ™a|>ery itomitour stiowrooinand irr Æ)$tüdiirù Feprualy 8 : &'9/i, froWtOi mj-ffj.À 4312 Cone! #6, Kendal 905-983-5900 Clarington Beech Centre 26 Beech Ave., Bowmanville ' Modern Facility Historical Setting Weddings, Banquets, Meetings , (30 to 250 people) Self-catering kitchen. 905-697-2856 ' ■■■ : . V- ' V:./ :.' 7r . sign, which he swapped for a beer keg, which... never mind. It will just make you dizzy. Point is, Kyle Mac-Donald eventually traded his way up to an all-expens-. es paid trip to the town of Yahk, B.C.--and a ' big, honkin' cube van in which to make the trip. All from a single paperclip (red). Kyle 1 doesn't just trade items; he does it face to face. He has met each and every person who has swapped items' with him. So far he's been to Seattle, New York, Amherst, New Brunswick, and the Camp Pendleton Army Base in California. • The only mistake Kyle's made so far: he . didn't patent his brainwave. brainwave. Hordes of copy- : cat traders have sprung up - including some disc jockey on a radio station in Vancouver. He started started out offering to trade an ordinary rock. At last report lie had traded up to a set of custom drums. Does Kyle resent the imitators? Iiell, no - he gives them space on his website. The more the merrier, says Kyle. Not surprisingly some big-time advertisers advertisers have smelled a lucra- ; tive opportunity here. Kyle has been : approached by several companies eager to see their brand names appear on his insanely popular website. No dice. • "There is no amount of money you can offer me to appear on this website," says Kyle. I will not put up your ad for Coke or Nike even if you offer me one million dollars. Try me--I dare you. The only way I will ever post anything, even remotely resembling an ad or banner on this website will be if you help out the project in some way, shape or form." How to do that? Two ways: (a) Get on the trading block. Offer some service service or product that moves Kyle along to his goal of owning a house. (b) Come up with your own trade scheme. As long as it's for charity, charity, Kyle will give you free space on his website.' website.' But act fast. Right now, Kyle MacDonald is just an ordinary, beer- - chugging guy like you and me. Pretty soon he'll , be a home-owner. And after that--who knows? What can 1 you trade a house for these days? A candy-apple red Ferrari? A summer in St, Barts? A date with J-Lo? That Kyle MacDonald. MacDonald. To think I knew him when he only had one red paperclip to his name. . : The, Polymer Extra-, sion major tyke #2, played four games in January and split therm with two wins and two losses, .. In a game against Bowmanville #8 with . Matthew Rosamond in net, the team lost a close one 3-1, in which Kyle Cordes was the • lone scorer for Orono assisted by Mathieu Phillippe and Marissa Galipeau. With Marissa in net for their next game, Newcastle #1 shut the Orono squad'down 6-0. , The major tykes then played Bowmanville #6 back to back. In the i first match,-Orono won 5-2 with Jarrett Kirçk in net. ; In the 'rematch , with Laura VanMeer in net they won 6-3 i Kyle Cordes had a; hat trick in both games scoring a total of eight goals. , * Matthew Rosamond scored two goals and Jarrett Kirck netted a single. Assisting were Michael Stere . (3). Matthew Haass (2), Laura VanMeer (1), Anthony Zupancic (1) and Mathieu Phillippe (1). Travis Ford and Troy Nichol both played solid on defense. The ■ team's next game will be February 18 at 12pm in Orono. ' v-/:,:':;'. vh