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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, March 22,2006 / have no taste for either poverty or honest labor. Writing is the only recourse left for me. Hunter S. Thompson I know whereof the maestro of Gonzo journalism journalism speaks. I have had many blessings in my life, but one of the greatest is this. Right here. Writing stuff for you to read. I am a professional word cobbler. A thought Basic Black by Arthur Black Nice work if you can get it weaver. A mason of sentences sentences and paragraphs. I look at the world around me, then I sit down and write about it. That's my job and I love it. Which puts me in a rarefied category of working stiffs. According According to a survey conducted conducted by an on-line job search company called Workopolis, thirty-two percent of us barely tolerate tolerate our jobs. We consider consider them just a means of paying the mortgage and putting food on the table. For others, it's even worse--seventeen percent of the people who went to work this morning would just as soon be going to the dentist. Think of it: nearly one out of five people loathe and despise what they do for a living. Part of it is the nature of some jobs. Two-thirds of the people surveyed said their place of work offered them no opportunity opportunity for advancement. Another 30 percent said their jobs were routine with no exposure to new experiences. For those of you who find yourself in the can't-stand-my-job category, category, I offer one small consolation: it could be worse. There are some really, really lousy jobs out there that probably ' make yours look like a stroll on the boardwalk. Each year, the magazine Popular Science publishes publishes a "Ten Worst Jobs in Science" list. This year the list included students employed in a University of California study who, for a measly $15 an hour, signed an agreement to have pesticide pesticide sprayed in their eyes. Then there were the guys who worked for a U.S. Geological Survey Survey in a remote area of California last year. Their job: monitoring 'extromorphil' microbes. All you need to know Classified Business Directory Ace Submarine Nothing but the Bestl üiKü 905-987-4064 3211 Hwy 35/115, Newcastle Mon-Fri 7am - 9pm Sat/Sun 8-8 Fine Finishes by T. Osmond COMPLETE Furniture Repair and Restoration Caning • Veneering • Carving French Polishes & Wicker Repair 905-786-2477 Experience You Can Trust GRUNDY'S COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY 3375 Cone. Rd. 7 (905) 983-9874 www.grundysupholstery.com BRYON GRUNDY SrniÊk sTwm aiiaa- LARRY JACKSON PLUMBING & WATER CONDITIONING • Pump Repairs & Installation • UV Lights • Water Softeners • Free Estimates For Friendly, Expert Service Call 905-983-6214 Pro Painting Why Wait... Book your winter and spring projects now! ~ Excellent Rates ~ 905-983-5761 Clifford Francis "We're here lo serve you" ROBERT E. 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Only $6.83/week! Call us at 983-5301 ; r ■ ■ • v' v-v ■■■ .. ■' Orono Veterinary Hospital Dr. Derek de Haan Dr. Mathew Stephenson 30 Cobbledick St., Orono LOB 1 MO ■ Tel: 905-983-9010 Fax:905-983-5308 $6.83/week for one year and this space is yours. Call Rosey at 905-983-5301 I&T Carpenters • Licensed • 27 Years Experience • Custom Homes ' • General Contracting • Additions • House Trim • Stairs • Decks •Windows «Doors • Barns And all carpentry- related work. IVAN JONES TONYFANARA Orono 905-983-5303 Hampton 905-263-9988 Debra Inglis Interior Design ,æ&,. 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I was doing a story on a crew of biologists whose job it was to tag and collar collar mountain-lions. They used a pack of hounds to track and tree the lions, dart them, fit them out with radio-transmitter collars, then set them free again. Most of the guys in the crew clearly enjoyed their work-- except for one, who never seemed to smile. I found out why. When they had a cougar treed and tagged with a tranquilizer dart, Gloomy Gus moved into action. The cougar was on a branch only about 20 feet over our heads. As the cougar began to get groggy, Gus slipped à noose attached to a pole around its head and shoulders. The idea was to break the animals fall and ease it carefully down to the ground. .It meant that Gus had to stand... directly under the cougar. He was looking looking more and more disconsolate. disconsolate. "How do you know when it's about to lose consciousness?" I whispered whispered to the other crew members. They grinned like Cheshire cats. I soon found out. A sure-fire sign that a tran- quilized cougar is about to pass out and fall is the loss of bladder control. All over Gloomy Gus. I. wonder if he included that on his work resume? Ah, but then there's Tim Byrne. Tim's a Brit who lives in London. According to a story in the London Sun, Tim just can't get enough of his job. Even when he goes on vacation to places like Tenerife and Mallorca, Tim looks up folks in his line of work, then pitches in and gives them a hand, for free. His line of work? Garbage collector. For the past 11 years Tim has cheerfully hauled' trash and hefted garbage cans while his mates were getting sunburned at the beach,. "Rubbish plays such a large role in my life that I simply don't need to get away from it," says Tim. • v -.. I suppose that's all it really, takes to handle a bad job--a good attitude. attitude. Then again, Tim Byrne never had to stand under an incontinent . mountain lion. W~ - : ' ' lya MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. 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