The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

( Qrono Weekly Times, Wednesday, April 9,2003 - 5 Basic Black by Arthur Black THE NATIONAL OBSESSION I don't often use this space to deliver a book review, but that's because I don't often come across a book that I actually think is worth recommending. recommending. Today's different. I just read a book that I think any Canuck would enjoy. It's called The Good Body. It's by Bill Gaston, a young writer who lives in Victoria, B.C. - and it's virtually a patriotic duty for every Canadian to read this book because it's about a hockey player. Ah ah - don't turn the page. I realize that you may or may not be fond of Canada's National Obsession. The first few bars of The Hockey Night In Canada Theme may cause you to tear up, throw up or anything in between. The point is, if you're Canadian, you're affected. I would classify myself as a hockey agnostic. Used to love the game, back in the Paleozoic Era when there were six teams and you knew every player's face, thanks to the absence of helmets, face masks and mullets. The fact is, you didn't even need to see the faces back then. The players could all have taken to the ice wearing nothing but Stanfield Long Johns and Canadian Tire bags over their heads and you'd still know them. You knew them by their stride, their shot, the set of their shoulders. shoulders. You knew them because--well, there were only half a dozen teams and you saw every team play at least seven or eight times a year. Gaston's book kind of bridges that spectrum between the Good Old Days of bare-faced goalies and the Brave New World of multimillionaire multimillionaire superstars who hail from Irkutsk. The hero, Bobby Bonaduce is a grinder who's spent the past twenty years in the minors, chewing cold take-out pizza on the overnight bus between forgettable forgettable burgs like Utica, Tulsa, Rochester and Kalamazoo. As the book begins, that chapter of Bobby's life is over. He knows now he's not going to make it to the NHL. Instead he's on his way to Fredericton at the wheel of a wheezy old beater to put a cap on his hockey dreams by playing on a line with his undergraduate son on the University of New Brunswick hockey team. How's he going to pull that off? Easy. By getting a master's master's degree in English Literature at the University. There are just three major obstacles between Bobby and seeing his personal red light go on: he's plagiarized his way into the course; he's next to flat-broke and he hasn't laid eyes on his boy since he was an infant. Oh yes...and the major cross check. The big reason Bobby Bonaduce is skating away from that Utica arena locker room and towards the groves of New Brunswick Academy - Bobby is in the beginning stages of Multiple Sclerosis. This book, The Good Body, is about a body going bad. Doesn't sound like a thigh-slapper premise for a book - but The Good Body is funny. Funny and dark. In fact, it smudges the line between funny and dark. When somebody chastises Bobby for his gallows humour, he gives her his face off stare and says "Marg? Where we're all going?... ALL humour is gallows humour." That's the thing about this guy - he contradicts all the Big Bobby Clobber stereotypes stereotypes of The Muscleheaded Hockey Player. He's big and he's tough. and his face is cross-hatched with scars from hundreds of sticks and pucks and fists, but he's no monosyllabic monosyllabic mutt. Bonaduce is a wicked observer of the world he lives in. He attends a Bob Dylan concert and describes the singer's voice as sounding like "a hornet in a bean can". Of his chosen profession, he says "-That a puck is a meaningless meaningless thing to chase is exactly exactly the point. They might never think of it this way, but hockey fans are drawn to the spectacle of men who are the best in the land at using their bodies to fulfil PURE DESIRE. Pure, because these are guys who will basically kill to get at a puck, this chunk of dumb rubber the perfect symbol of worthlessness. worthlessness. It is so abstract, so pure in its meaninglessness, it is almost Japanese." So has Bill Gaston turned me back into a Hockey Night In Canada fan? Naw. Any sports enterprise that's been reduced to naming its franchises after ducks, penguins penguins and coyotes can only be in the final convolutions of a terminal death spiral. I won't be tuning in to the Ron and Don show anytime soon. But The Good Body has turned me into a Bill Gaston fan. I'll be looking up his other books. The Good Body by Bill Gaston, is published by Harper Collins. r I I I I | 15% DISCOUNT with coupon Pedicures/Manicures Waxing Nail Extensions Air Brushing ESTHETIC STUDIO Eyelash Tinting Electronic Muscle Stimulate (EMS) Paraffin Wax ( .Brigitte Brown *** Gift Certificates Available . 71 Mill Street, Orono, ON LOB 1 MO • 905-983-8169 From April 12 to June 21.2003 on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:00 a.m. to 12 p.m. we will be serving ALL YOU CAN EAT PANCAKES with juice, sausage or bacon for $5.25 Pius tax (additional sausage or bacon, add a dollarJ with every order we will donate $1 to the Orono Amateur Athletic Association u i i mi 11 mi mi mm 11 mi 11 mi mi 11 mi 11 wi 11 11- Notice Of The Filing Of The Application For A Provincial Certificate Of Approval For A Waste Transfer Station, 1 McKnight Road, Courtice, Ontario On April 7, 2003, Canadian Waste Services Inc. filed an Application with the Environmental Assessment and Approvals Branch of the Ministry of the Environment for a Provisional Certificate of Approval for a solid, non-hazardous waste transfer station. The lands affected by the Application are located adjacent the easterly limits of McKnight Road in the Municipality of Clarington, municipal address of 1 McKnight Road, Courtice. The nature of the proposed undertaking for which a Provisional Certification Of Approval is being sought from the Ministry of the Environment by Canadian Waste Services Inc. is briefly summarized as follows, namely: • the development of transfer station to facilitate the receipt and shipment off-site, to an approved waste management facility for disposal, of up to a maximum of 800 tonnes of solid, non-hazardous waste per day; • a maximum storage capacity of up to 1100 tonnes of waste within the transfer station at any one time for a period of 24 hours (average) and 86 hours (maximum); • the outside storage of a maximum of 100 tonnes of recyclable/reusable materials (i.e. cardboard, metal, wood, tires, etc.) in containers to be located in the yard to the east of the proposed transfer station, east of McKnight Road; and, • the ability to operate the proposed waste transfer station 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Should you have any concerns or objections in relation to this Application, you must submit written comments within 15 days but no later than 30 days of receipt of Notice to Mr. James O'Mara, Director, Environmental Assessments and Approvals Branch, Ministry of the Environment, 2 St Clair Avenue West, Floor 12A, Toronto, Ontario, M4V 1L5. In the event that you have any questions or require clarification with respect to any aspect of this Application please contact Mr. Fernando Pellegrino, District Manager, Courtice, at 905-433-5077 (ext. 4). CANADIAN WASTE lVIlii HH Il II If I I ÏI If M 111 f M II if U