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s -j - !b j rygggfggg - Orono Weekly Times , Wednesday, July 2,2003 Basic Black by Arthur Black Stupid is as stupid does Strange as it may seem, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education education positively fortifies it. Stephen Vizinczey James Watson doesn't agree - and he's definitely not stupid. Watson is a scientist and codiscoverer codiscoverer of the structure of DNA. He thinks human stupidity stupidity is no more mysterious than acne or hay fever - and just as treatable. Watson believes we've been looking at stupidity through the wrong end of the microscope. Stupidity isn't a mental state, says Watson - it's a disease -- a disease he thinks will one day be corrected by gene therapy, just as other 'disorders' are now being addressed. "If you're really, really stupid, stupid, I would call that a disease," disease," says Watson. "I'd ike to get rid of stupidity." Well, James, I'd wish you luck, except 1 wouldn't mean it. I'm comfortable with human stupidity, mine included, included, and I don't think I would recognize my species if you took it away. As far as I can tell, stupidity is hard-wired into the very warp and woof of humanity. I don't think stupidity is a disease. I contend it is the very engine that drives the human race. And I believe our patron saints are Larry, Curly and Moe. Think of some of mankind's stupefyingly magnificent magnificent blunders. Just consider consider our technological 'advances'. • We invent low-nicotine tobacco. Smokers double their consumption of cigarettes. • To save a few bucks in cattle feed we turn cows into carnivores, carnivores, feeding them, basically, shredded animal corpses. Thus creating epidemics of Mad Cow disease. • Sports researchers replace old-fashioned low-rise leather ski boots with high- tech molded plastic boots that reach half way up the calf. Ankle injuries decline. Knee injuries increase exponentially. • Car manufacturers introduce seat belts and air bags. Studies indicate that drivers who have them drive an average of 20 percent faster. Stupidity. "Twas ever thus. Look at some of our great historical historical stupidities: The Tower of Babel. France's Maginot Line. The British Royal Family. Dan Quayle. And don't think for a moment that Canada shirks its responsibility in the Stupidity Sweepstakes. Didn't we give the world Joe Clark, a prime minister from the decidedly agricultural riding of High River, Alberta, who mystified an East Asian farmer (and his translator) by asking "What is the specificity of your acreage?" Didn't we give the world Stockwell Day? Elsie Wayne? Bill Vander Zalm? Joey Smallwood? Mel Eastman? Wasn't it Canadian legislators legislators who gave birth to the Quebec Language Laws? Was it not this countiy that systematically and scientifically scientifically destroyed its own East Coast cod fishery? And wasn't it our leaders in Ottawa who hand crafted the gun registry, a colossal bureaucratic bureaucratic boondoggle aimed at registering every pellet gun and varmint rifle in the country country that was supposed to cost a mere $ million or so and was last spotted rocketing past the $60 million dollar mark? Oh yeah - and it doesn't work either. A government computer crashed not long ago and 'lost' the names of God knows how many Canadian firearms owners who had duly complied with the law. Seems to be something about compulsory gun registration registration that brings out the latent bungling bonehead in lawmakers everywhere. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel recently carried a story date- lined Wisconsin, that told how legislators there created a special special hotline for students a cou Wadebridge and St. Columba Male Voice Choirs from Cornwall, UK Bowmanville High School Friday July 25th, 7:30 p.m. Sponsored by Toronto Cornish Association and Sleeman's Brewing & MolcingCo. as part of the 12th Gathering of Cornish Cousins Tickets: $8 advance, $10 at the door • for tickets call (905) 623-9147 Tickets also available at: Orono - Stutt's Pharmacy • Newcastle • Heart to Heart Florist Tyrone • Archibald's Winery • Bowmanville • Rapid Photo (Mall) and The Zone (Downtown) for further information about the 12th Gathering please sec our website: http://mcmbcrs.rogcrs.com/tca or e-mail us; bowmanvillcgathcrmg@yahoo.ca or phone the number above. > This female Cecropia moth was found by Clifford Francis and Karen Cox last weekend on Lawrence Road in Orono. Although these moths are common through North America, they are not often seen because they fly at night. The cecropia moth will only live for about two weeks as an adult because it cannot eat. The purpose of the adult is to mate and lay eggs after which they die. pie of years ago. The.idea was, anytime a student saw a weapon on school property, he or she would call it in anonymously anonymously on the hotline. But after two years of operation operation the hotline received only seven calls - five pranks and two false alarms. The line costs $50,000 US per year to operate. Critics note that in the event of a real report the call center would then have to relay the information to the appropriate local police agency, resulting in a delay. In other words, the hotline makes it harder, not easier to deal with the problem of weapons in schools. Legislators are trying to pass a new bill to dismantle the hotline. hotline. To be replaced by? Well, one teacher suggested that perhaps perhaps the students might be encouraged to dial 911. That hot line system is already in place and costs 25 cents US to activate. • FREE ESTIMATES • COMPETITIVE RATES • • INSURANCE CLAIMS • FRED'S AUTOBODY (90S) 623-6353 163 Baseline Road, Unit 1 Bowmanville, Ontario L1C 3L4 Fred DeVries proprietor Complete Collision Repair, Restoration and Refinishing 8mf,iv-| iwui NEWCASTLE FUNERAL HOME Family owned and operated by Carl Good, Funeral Director, and Joyce Kufta 386 Mill St. S., Newcastle 987-3964 www.newca stlefuneralhome.com "Caring for our Community " iÜfcilll* ; Éli $i For Orders and Crop Conditions Call (905) 786-2153 Sikma's Orchard on Hwy 2, 5 km east of Newcastle Village Open 8 a.m. - 8 p.m. Monday - Saturday Closed on Sundays