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< 8 - Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, July 9,2003 Basic Black > Clarington Sports Hall of Fame by Arthur Black LOVE IS BLONDE It was a blonde, a blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. window. Raymond Chandler It isn't that gentlemen prefer blondes, it's just that we look dumber. Anita Loo The most common unsolicited unsolicited bit of data I get in my email (not counting the guaranteed guaranteed penis enlargement ads and that guy in Nigeria who wants to use my bank account to deposit $45 million US) would have to be Dumb Blonde jokes. I get at least a dozen a week. Friends pass them on to me. They pop up unbidden in other peoples' web sites. There was even an inadvertent inadvertent Dumb Blonde joke in the Style section of the Washington Post last week. According to a World Health Organization study, the story claimed, women with bjonde hair are (you'll excuse the pun) dying out, because men prefer mating with fake blondes. The story even made it on to the major US networks including CBS, where uberblonde Diane Sawyer wailed that she and her ilk were on the endangered species list and in danger of "going the way of the snail darter". Cute story. Too bad it wasn't wasn't true. Turns out there was no such study from the World Health Organization. The whole thing was an internet put-on perpetrated by an anonymous German hacker in Dusseldorf. Still, it does speak to humankind's eternal bedevilment bedevilment over women with yellow hair. It's an obsession that doesn't doesn't cariy over in the animal world, curiously enough. Palominos don't get extra points in the horse world; as for dogs, golden labs aren't any more special than their black brethren. And when it comes to lions, it appears that brunettes rule. Researchers claim that female lions prefer steadies with long, dark shoulder-length shoulder-length shrubbery. For the male, a longer and darker mane means more groupies-- and more clout. Other male lions are intimidated by the dark-haired types, and if it comes to a scrap, the paler Leos usually lose. Scientists know all this, thanks to a dirty trick perpetrated perpetrated in Serengeti National Park in Tanzania last year. That's where Doctor Craig Packer, an animal behav iourist and student of lions for the past 25 years, set up several several pairs of life-sized, darkmaned darkmaned dummy male lions and sat back with a clip board to chart reactions from real lions in the area. Basically, the reactions were two-fold and gender- specific: the male lions were spooked; the female lions were horny. "The males were jittery and pussy-footed up to the toy carefully," says Packer, "but the females saw the male as advertising how sexy he was, and the females can be very sexy in response to these toys." "It's embarrassing to watch a female offer herself up to a toy and be rejected." And, says Doctor Packer, the darker the mane on the dummy, the more extreme the reaction. Whereas with humans it seems to be exactly the reverse. Consider Courtney Love. The 37-year-old rocker is a Big, Brassy Blonde and proud of it. "Being blonde is a massive cultural responsibility," she says. "I like to think of blondes as the knights in chess. It's what makes chess complicated. Knights are the first piece you look at - they elevate the game." "No chess master wants to lose her knights. Blondes are the same: Without us, you cannot win, and you've got no one to blame for complicating everything." Not that being blonde is a total cakewalk. Love points out that as a blonde "you have 'way more power than the other women in the room, but you have to take your punishment punishment as well. Your sexual availability goes up, and your IQ drops below 110. Bank loans will be harder." Maybe that's why dumb blonde jokes are so popular - because blondes are so powerful powerful they scare the rest of us. But real pros know how to roll with the punches. As Dolly Parton says: "I don't worry about dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb." "Of course, I'm also not blonde." Over the past 200 years, the Municipality of Clarington has produced a number of significant significant sporting moments and memories. Now the rich, long histoiy of sports in the area is about to be honoured. On Sat., Oct. 25, Clarington is planning to host its inaugural Hall of Fame induction ceremony ceremony and dinner, recognizing the outstanding achievements of athletes, teams and builders in the community. A steering committee of five members from the municipality has been meeting regularly to form the basis of a Clarington Sports Hall of Fame. Establishing criteria for inception inception under the categories of ath lete, team and builder, the committee, committee, including Gail Preston, Bill Humber, Seth Hunt, Ray Bester and Brad Kelly, have solicited the public's help in determining who is worthy of being enshrined into the hall. To that extent, nomination forms were distributed to all Clarington homes as pàrt of the 2003 Community Guide, with a deadline in place of July 1 to submit entries. The committee is currently finalizing the details on a guest speaker and master of ceremonies ceremonies for the inaugural event. An announcement on those celebrity naines, as well as the inductees for 2003, will be released in the coming weeks. Rinske Easa, Sales Representative Sutton Group Dynamic 905-697-1700 Direct Line: 905-983-5100 E-mail: rinskeeasa@rogers.com Thinking of Selling or Buying Real Estate? "Call me today; I am only a block away. " m MORRIS FUNERAL CHAPEL LTD. SERVING DURHAM REGION SINCE 1841 ALL FUNERAL SERVICES PREARRANGED AND/OR PREPAID BURIAL - CREMATION - TRANSFERS "WHERE PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE IS IMPORTANT" FUNERAL DIRECTORS PAUL R. MORRIS DOUG R. RUTHERFORD GARY M. CONWAY DEBRA D. KELLEHER 623-5480 4 DIVISION ST.. BOWMANVILLE - AT QUEEN ST. 4 Leading the Way CORPORATION OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON PUBLIC NOTICE www.munlcipality.clarington.on.ca FORM 1 PLANNING ACT, R.S.O. 1990 NOTICE OF THE PASSING OF A ZONING BY-LAW TAKE NOTICE THAT the Council of the Corporation of the Municipality of Clarington passed By-law 2003-088 on the 23rd day of June 2003, under Section 34 of the Planning Act, R.S.O. 1990, c.P.13. AND TAKE NOTICE THAT any person or agency may appeal to the Ontario Municipal Board in respect of the By-law by filing with the Clerk of the CORPORATION OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON, not later than the 30th day of July, 2003, a notice of appeal setting out the objection to the by-law and the reasons in support of the objection, together with a cheque in the amount of $125.00 made payable to the Minister of Finance. An explanation of the purpose and effect of the by-law is as follows: follows: The purpose and effect of By-law 2003-088 is to amend Zoning By-law 84-63, as amended of the former Town of Newcastle by permitting Bed and Breakfast Establishments as home occupations occupations in the following categories: "Agricultural (A)", "Agricultural Exception (A-1 )". "General Commercial (C1)", "Residential Hamlet (RH)", "Rural Cluster (RC)", "Residential Shoreline (RS)", "Urban Residential Type One (R1)" and "Urban Residential Type Two (R2)" inclusive of all exception zones subject to meeting the following provisions: a) A maximum of three (3) guest rooms are permitted; b) The Bed and Breakfast establishment shall remain clearly, inci dental and secondary to the single detached dwelling in which it is situated; c) The Bed and Breakfast establishment shall not change the character of the dwelling nor create or become a public nuisance due to traffic, noise and hours of operation; d) The dwelling shall not be used simultaneously for any other home occupation; e) The dwelling shall be fully serviced with municipal water and sewage system or well and private sanitary waste disposal system system that comply with the regulations of the Ministry of Environment; and 0 A minimum 30% landscape open space must be maintained in the front yard. Further information pertaining to this matter may be obtained by contacting the Municipality's Planning Services Department at 623-3379. Dated at the Municipality of Clarington this 9th day of July, 2003. Patti L. Barrie, Municipal Clerk Municipality of Clarington CLERK'S FILE NO. D14.GE NOTE The Planning Act provides for appeals to be filed by "persons". Groups or associations, such as residents or ratepayers groups which do not have incorporated status, may not be considered "persons" for purposes purposes of the Act. Groups wishing to appeal this decision should do so in the name or names of individual group members, and not in the name of tho group.