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- Orono Weekly Tîntes, Wednesday, August 20,2003 ) Basic Black by Arthur Black ITS ALL THE RAGE I have a dead mouse nailed to my office wall. I killed it personally. With my bare hands. Don't call the SPCA - this is not the fourlegged, fourlegged, furry cheese-lusting kind of mouse. My wall trophy is plastic. It's the gizmo that you palpate to move around the little arrow on your computer monitor. monitor. I've never been abidingly fond of my computer, but one day, when it did something profoundly profoundly annoying, I was, as they say, somewhat overcome with emotion. I felt an intense desire to wrench the device from my desk and pitch it overhand through the window, but that would have been expensive. It would also have let the flies in. That's when my eye fell upon my wee mouse, quivering on its mouse pad. I balled my right fist and brought it down like the hammer of Thor. Set me back $19:95, but my, it felt grand. I'm not the first person to go postal over a computer. As a matter of fact, a recent study revealed that 50 percent of web surfers lose their tempers at least once a week. It's not just computers of course - we're living in the Age of Rage. Testosterone-heavy drivers who used to glare at each other and perhaps tap their horn once or twice now exchange obscene gestures, foam at the mouth and cut each other off. Road Rage. And of course, there's Air Rage. A British banker by the name of Finneran flipped out on a flight from Buenos-Aires to New York last year, assaulting three flight attendants and defecating defecating on a food trolley. A simple 'I'm not hungiy' would have been sufficient, sir. But when I heard about the assault on the woman dressed as an Italian sausage, I knew that Rage Rage was getting out of hand. Happened during a baseball baseball game in Milwaukee last month. A woman dressed as an Italian sausage, accompanied by a colleague wearing a hot dog costume (I am not making this up) was running around the bases between innings as.part of RICHARDSON CONSULTING uL-'.ilv Need help with business management or planning? Contract or hourly assistance, from a qualified, experienced management consultant • Marketing challenges; getting started; loan application assistance; process analysis or design • Large jobs or small - free initial consultation or proposal development Kathleen Richardson, M.B.A. (905) 983-9587 r Guides Canada Pineridge District Girl Guide Registration Wednesday, Sept. 3 6:30 pm - 7:30 pm at Orono Town Hall For more information call Donna Morrison 905-983-9107 J NEWCASTLE FUNERAL HOME Family owned and operated by Carl Good, Funeral Director, and Joyce Kufta 386 Mill St. S., Newcastle 905-987-3964 www.newcastlefunenilhome.com "Caring for our Community" a fast food ad campaign. One of the ball players teasingly tapped the Italian sausage impersonator with his bat, the sausage lost its balance and knocked over the human hot dog and Hey, Presto! - An Incident. The ball player .was (I'm riot making this up either) led off the diamond in handcuffs by gun-toting cops. An advertising executive speaking speaking for the jostled meat puppets (perhaps overreacting ever so slightly) intoned "This is one of the most outrageous things I've ever seen inside a ballpark or outside a ballpark. It sickened me to see it." Yeah. Mascot Rage. Life doesn't get any uglier than that. Or maybe it does. Come with me now to a quiet, leafy cul de sac in the city of Lincoln, England. You see that yellow line of police tape encircling that modest cottage? Murder investigation. investigation. The cottage owner got shot to death last week. By his next-door neighbour. Because his hedge was too high. That s right - Hedge Rage - and its not the first fatal case. Last May, a 74-year-old homeowner in Louth, Lincolnshire Lincolnshire 4ied of a heart attack witifuhis neighbour oVer a hedge dispute. I should point out that we're not talking little Mulberry bushes bushes here. The hedges that are causing all the trouble are Leyland cypresses - monster trees that shoot up like bamboo on steroids. They easily grow to thirty feet and the/re very popular* popular* with Brits. Well, with some, Brits. For those who- hate 'em there's ' Hedgeline. It's a support group with its very own website and it lobbies on behalf of people with grievances. About hedges. A spokesman for Hedgeline estimates estimates there are more than 100,000 victims living involuntarily involuntarily in the shade of their neighbour's neighbour's hedges throughout the U.K. Well, fine - but a WEBSITE? Thafs all I'd need. My neighbour neighbour throws up a giant wall of cypresses that plunges my home into perpetual darkness. Do I protest or sneak out with a chainsaw chainsaw during a thunderstorm - no. I'm a good, polite Canuck. I turn on my computer and tap in www.hedgeline.uk. And an hourglass appears. And I wait. And wait. And wait. And finally, as cobwebs begin to enshroud on my keyboard, my screen tells me This page cannot he displayed. Followed by this program has performed an illegal illegal function and will be shut down. Followed by a popup ad for Microsoft Windows Megapixel Megapixel System 9.5. To hell with it. Kill your mouse. It's more satisfying. Orono Horticultural Continued from page 6 2 Carol Mostert 3 Pat Bales 43 Any other vegetable 1 Carol Mostert 2 Pat Bales 3 Minnie Zegers Section C- Design classes, theme "Summer's Pride" 44 "Taste Of Summer" 1 Pat Bales 2 Minnie Zegers 45 "Butterfly Garden" 1 Shelley Etmanskie 2 Isabelle Challice 46 "Pink Floaters" 1 Shelley Etmanskie 2 Pat Bales 3 Isabelle Challice 47 "Keep Cool" 1 Pat Bales 2 Isabelle Challic 3 Shelley Etmanskie 48 "Sunny Side Up" 1 Shelley Etmanskie 2 Pat Bales 3 Isabelle Challice 49 "A Tisket a Tasket" 1 Pat Bales 2 Inez Harris 3 Shelley Etmanskie Special Prizes-Judges Choice - Inez Harris (dahlia) Most points in design classes - Pat Bales Most points in specimen cut flowers - Pat Bales Most points in vegetables - Carol Mostert CIBC award- Isabelle Challice Section D - Youth Competition Competition 1 Squirrel's Delight 1 Colleen Lowery 2 For The Birds 1 Colleen Lowery 3 Potato Head 1 Colleen Lowery 2 Kayla Matchett The Last Word will appear next week PONTYPOOL MEN'S SUNDAY LOB BALL LEAGUE Results for August 17 Blazers over Generals (8 innings) 12:9 Pita Pit over Blue Circle 14:11 Blackjacks over Mudhens 13:7 Pitbulls over Slime 14:9 League Standings TEAM GE WIN LOSS HE BE BA +/- EIS 1. Blazers 14 12 2 0 265 140 125 24 2. Pita Pit 14 10 4 0 196 153 43 20 3. Blue; Circle ' 14 - 9 1 0 190 145 45 18 4. Blackjacks 14 7 7 0 175 206 -31 14 5. Slime 14 6 7 1 132 145 -13 13 6. Generals 14 6 8 0 166 150 16 12 7. Mudhens 14 3 10 1 122 220 -98 7 8. Pitbulls 14 2 12 0 124 192 -68 4 Playoff Games scheduled for August 24 "B" Mudhens vs. Generals - 2:30 pm 1st Round - "B" Pitbulls vs. Slime - 4:00 pm Roc* nff Five "A" Blackjacks vs. Blazers - 5:30 pm Desi OT r ■ "A" Blue Circle vs. Pita Pit - 7:00 pm NOTICE OF PESTICIDE USE Between July 24, 2003 and September 30, 2003, Ontario Power Generation (0PG) will be conducting a larviciding program at 10 Brock Road South, Pickering, ON L1V 2R5 and Holt Road South, Bowmanville, ON L1C 3Z8 under the authority of the Local Medical Officer of Health, and by permit permit approval of the Ministry of the Environment to control larval mosquitoes in order to prevent their development into vectors of the West Nile Virus. The pellet formation of the larvicide methoprene' [Product Name: Altosid Pellets, Registration Number 21809 under the Pest Control Products Act (Canada)J will be placed into the catch basins of the storm drains inside the station properties including those catch basins in the station switchyards. In addition, the stations will also be applying the granular formulation of the biolarvicide larvicide I Product Name: Aquabac (200 G) Mosquito Biolarvicide Granule, Registration Number 26862 under the Pest Control Products Act (Canada)) which will be placed into areas of standing water that cannot be drained. All larvicide will be applied by Ministry of the Environment licensed applicators or trained technicians, For details on the exact locations and dates of treatment please call Kathy Peck, for Pickering, at 905-839-1151 ext. 4074 or Don Torry, for Bowmanville, at 905-623-6670 ext. 7443 or look for additional information at OPG's Web site; www.opg.com ONTARIOFGiiiiER GENERATION