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tisaesBMKSXsssti* Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, September10,2003 Basic Black by Arthur Black THE TIES THAT BIND The next time you find yourself about to be discharged discharged from a hospital,ask your doctor for one little favour. Ask him to please send you home on any day but Friday. Why? Because you'll live longer, that's why. A study published in a recent edition of The Canadian Medical Association Journal indicates that patients sent home on a Friday are more likely to die or to be readmitted to hospital than those discharged on any other day of the week. The fact is, more patients are released on Friday than on any other day. It's a feelgood thing - the patients want to be back with their families for the weekend, and sending patients home at the end of the week gives a sense of closure to the medical staff. Problem is, the increased traffic puts additional additional pressure on social services and on the hospital workers which leads to mistakes, oversights oversights - and too often, tragedy. Not that I meant to give you one more thing to worry about vis a vis hospitals. Lord knows it's scary enough checking in these days - what with SAKS arid Legionnaires and West Nile and Monkey Pox waiting to bushwhack you somewhere between the Admissions Desk and the examination room. But as long as I have your attention.. Watch out for your doctor, too. Particularly if he's male. Especially if he's a neat male. Neat as in: wearing a necktie. Sure, he looks distinguished - but where has that tie been? Yet another medical study - this one reported in the British Medical Journal - concludes that doctors wearing neckties could be putting their patients in danger. Neckties - as any necktie-afflicted male can tell you - dangle. They dangle in soup bowls, washroom sinks and heavy machinery if you're not careful. It doesn't take a Michael Jacksonian imagination imagination to conjure up some of the places a doctor's necktie might dangle in the course of a working day. What makes it worse is that neckties are absorbent and they seldom - if ever - get cleaned. British studies show that doctor's ties often carry bacteria bacteria picked up from in the infected wounds of patients. Doctor Jim McCaul, quoted in the BMA, says "There is no point being very careful about gelling your hands between patients if your tie has just landed in something nasty and then landed on the next patient." Oh, neckties are bad for your health, alright - and not just the one your doctor is wearing. According to a leading leading New York eye surgeon, wearing a necktie can make you go blind. Doctor Robert Rich checked the eye pressure of 40 males, then asked them to knot their ties tight enough to cause mild discomfort. After three minutes he checked their eye pressure again. In a majority of the men, eye pressure had risen alarmingly. His conclusion: "A tight necktie can be considered considered a risk factor in men who prefer to wear tight neckties, men with thick necks and white collar professionals." Proof enough for me. I've long considered the necktie to be the dopiest male fashion accouterment to come down the runway since spats. Dopey, but alas, still necessary necessary from time to time. As a guy travelling across the Sahara discovered recently. His Land Rover had overheated, overheated, he started walking, got lost and was finally reduced to crawling over the sand. Inching over yet another dune he comes to a man in a booth wearing a suit and tie. "Water," whispers the guy on the ground. "Sorry," said the natty stranger, "I don't have any water, but would you like to buy a necktie? Pure silk, pnly eight bucks." "I don't want a tie! I need water! " "Okay, for you, and because I'm feeling generous - two ties for ten bucks. My final offer." "I WANT WATER!" screams the guy on the ground. "Can't help you," says the salesman. "Why don't you try the restaurant over the hill?" So the guy crawls over the next dune and sure enough, there's a five-star restaurant. Air-conditioned, tiny tables with white linen tablecloths and crystal wine goblets. With the last of his strength the guy crawls up to the door, clutches the maitre-d' by the pant leg and croaks "Water!" The maitre-d' looks down at the guy and says, "I'm sorry sir. Necktie required." MS is the most common neurological disease affecting young adults in Canada. MS Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada •800*268"7582 www.mssoclety.ca ONTARIO PROVINCIAL ELECTION THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2 £LECl x ° QUALIFICATIONS TO VOTE On election day you must be: • 18 years of age • a Canadian citizen, and • a resident of Ontario Persons who ceased to live in Ontario within the two years, prior to election day may be entitled to vote under certain conditions. Call us for further information. REVISING AGENTS MAY VISIT YOUR HOME The Permanent Register of Electors means that province-wide enumeration is no longer necessary. In some areas, however, target revision may be needed to identify eligible voters. By providing our team of revising agents with accurate information about eligible voters living at your address, you will help us to make sure that it appears correctly on the Voters List. NOTICE OF REGISTRATION CARDS WILL BE MAILED If your name is on the Voters List, you will soon receive a Notice of Registration card in the mail. . Your Notice of Registration card identifies: • your electoral district • the location of the poll where you vote on election day • the dates and locations for advance poll voting in your electoral district PROXY VOTING If you are a qualified voter who is not .able to vote in person at either an advance poll or the regular poll on election day, you may vote by proxy. Visit our web site or call us for details. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE A NOTICE OF REGISTRATION CARD If you are qualified to vote and have not received your Notice of Registration card by September 20, your name may not be on the Voters List. Before election day - you may have your name added to the Voters List by applying for a Certificate to Vote up to 8:00 p.m. on Wednesday, October 1. Contact us for further information. On election day - you may register and vote by completing an application form and showing the following identification documents to the officials at the poll: • EITHER one identification document showing your name, current address and signature • OR two identification documents, one showing your name and signature and the other showing your name and current address. CALL US AT 1.888.0NT.V0TE (1.888.668.8683) TTY: 1.888.292.2312 (for deaf/hard of hearing) FOR MORE INFORMATION E-MAIL US AT VISIT OUR WEB SITE AT lnfo@electionsontaiio.on.ca www.electionsontario.on.ca If you require a sign language interpreter, Ontario Interpreter Services (OIS) makes them available to voters across Ontario on a first-come, first-served basis. Call OIS at the Canadian Hearing Society office nearest you to determine their availability, or contact Elections Ontario for additiçnal Information. If you have friends or relatives who have difficulty reading, please make them aware of the information in this notice. KEEPING YOU INFORMED nun par lis. in Xkviivx nl Hit I v^islnlnt' \ss< nilih